


Don't know you super well but I think you might be the same as me

by KillingVillanelle



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Dreamsharing, F/F, Soulmates, because season 2 was good, but it didn't have the same vibe as season 1, for season 1, if you know what i mean, imma switch up season 2, this is mostly going to follow canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-05-15 17:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 79,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19300576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillingVillanelle/pseuds/KillingVillanelle
Summary: AU where if you have a soulmate you share dreams with them periodically. However, because of it not being common and people being spiteful, it becomes a taboo subject and people think if you have a soulmate then you can't ever love or be with anyone else.Eve Polastri is 38 years old, has a stable eleven year long marriage, and a relatively normal (boring) job. Then she wakes up in a cold sweat when a 21 year old Russian woman screams at her to get out of her head and that she hates her. Eve now has to deal with the horrors of knowing her marriage is a sham, and her 'soulmate' is almost half her age and apparently hates her.But quickly her soulmate calms down, becomes an arrogant asshole, tells her that they aren't going to tell each other their real names and they're going to let things happen however they would happen. That doesn't mean they can't enjoy the time they spend together in the dreams though does it?





	1. 'Cause I don't know you but I'd like to know you (if you know what I mean)

"You're so beautiful," Villanelle says while tracing Love's cheek. She didn't know Love's real name and Love didn't know hers. No, it was one of Villanelle's insistent games she wanted to play. When the dreams started she told Love that they can't tell each other anything about one another because she wanted them to find each other naturally. Villanelle had other motives too, like not wanting Love to know she killed people for a living.

"You say that a lot," Love points out. 

They're laying on a beach this time. Villanelle isn't quite sure where. Love had fallen asleep before her and was here when she started dreaming. So Villanelle assumes it's a beach Love has been to before and made her happy. Love's voice is American so Villanelle makes a mental note to fly to America and look at every beach there after her next job.

"Because it's true," Villanelle answers with a smile.

"Totally," Love responds sarcastically.

Villanelle turns and straddles Love. She pushes her black hair away from her neck so she can lean down and lightly kiss Love's slender neck. "I'll prove to you how beautiful you are."

Love trails her fingers under from Villanelle's bikini bottom to the strings of her top. "Just tell me where to find you instead."

"Would you leave your husband if you found me?" Villanelle sits up. "Does he know?" Only certain people got the dreams to see their soulmates. And even then it was a taboo subject to actually get to experience them. People got jealous or angry. They thought you shouldn't see other people or anything if you got the dreams because that means you can't love the person who isn't your soulmate.

"No. He really loves me."

" _ I _ really love you."

"Then tell me where you are!" Love's no longer under Villanelle but behind her and yelling. This was her dream so she got to control what happened.

Villanelle rolls her eyes and stands up. " _ Love _ , it's been almost a month." She reaches out. "I don't want to fight."

"And I don't want to live my life waiting for someone who won't tell me where or who she is." Love rubs her temples for a moment then glances down at her watch. Villanelle knows Love is stuck because she can't make the dreams stop happening. "I'm Eve Polastri. I live in London. Actually," a piece of paper appears in her hand and she slams it against Villanelle's chest, "here's my damn address. You want this to happen? Come see me."

Villanelle is alone after the statement. She looks at the address is her hands and reads over it until she's sure she has it memorized.

* * *

 

Eve poured milk into her coffee as she waited for Niko to come down stairs and begin breakfast. Her dream gave her a headache as if she drank way too much the previous night. Although maybe that hangover from the karaoke bar with Bill last night was still in effect. But thank God it was a Saturday and she didn't need to go into work. A part of her wondered if Villanelle would actually show up at her house. The other part knew she wouldn't. At least now she wouldn't have to hear that stupid nickname anymore.  _ Love _ this and  _ Love _ that. Villanelle got to pick her codename why didn't Eve? She shakes her head because in all truthfulness she liked the nickname. The dreams started five years ago now, already eleven years into a marriage. When Eve had gotten through Uni and didn’t have a single one she just assumed she wouldn’t have them. How do you explain to your 41 year old husband at the time when they started, that hey my soulmate is seventeen years younger than me and also a woman?

Villanelle had been so angry at first. She yelled and begged for Eve to get out of her head. Usually resulting in one of them to wake up. Then slowly anger turned into arrogance and charminess. It made Eve all the more interested in what was going on in this other woman’s life. Villanelle grew and flourished from an angry and awkward young adult to a smug and strong asshole. So eventually, Villanelle proposed the little game because Eve was married. If they let each other find each other naturally then what happens, happens. So for the last five years Eve’s been slowly becoming intertwined with Villanelle, and having the best sex of her life, but she’s convinced herself it’s not cheating because it’s just a dream.

Her phone starts ringing from it's spot on the kitchen table. She sits her coffee down and walks over to it. Before picking it up she sees the number and apparently people can't keep illegal crimes to the weekdays.

* * *

 

 

"Can you guys get out of my flat?" Villanelle asks annoyed to the couple laying in her bed. Last night they seemed like good company. Now they felt like a bitter reminder of the fact that she can't tell Eve what she does or chase after her.

Begrudgingly they dress and exit her flat, Konstantin pushing in past them. 

"Have a fun night?"

"Always." She rolls her eyes and tightens her dark blue kimono robe.

"You are angry."

She huffs and flops down on her couch. "I'm bored Konstantin. That last job was easy."

Konstantin pulls out a postcard. "That's why I got you a new job."

Villanelle perks up and bounces over to him. "Already? I’m sensational."

"Yes.” He chuckles. “They want this one done tomorrow, however."

Villanelle plucks the postcard from him. "Tuscany?"

"It's beautiful this time of year. You'll love it."

"First class?"

"Of course. Also," he pulls out an envelope, "payment for your last job plus early payment for this one. A bonus. You can go shopping." He smiles with the edge of fakeness.

"If Tuscany isn't beautiful I'm going to trim that beard of yours." The tip of her finger pokes at his chin. 

"I promise. You'll love it."

* * *

 

 

Eve may hate work but she loved the idea of this female assassin. Once she gave up on trying to find Villanelle she turned all of her extra time to piling any case that seemed like it could match to the assassin. She kept it to herself for the time being but now? This Kedrin case has the assassin wrote all over it. She couldn't let this chance pass. 

She pushes a knife into her thigh while wondering how much pressure would be needed to perfectly puncture the arterity. 

The witness described the killer as flat chested. Which meant woman, and Bill lied to her about the CCTV-no-Bill wouldn't lie about CCTV for twenty quid. Someone lied to Bill. 

The knife punctured her skin. She runs her thumb across the dribbling blood and thinks about how this is a new assassin. A new assassin MI5 and MI6 were letting fly under the radar. 

"Do you want cheese on it?" Niko's voice rings down the hall.

Eve jumps and covers the puncture, "No-Yes-Yes, please," she calls back.

"Hey." He appears in the doorway.

"Hey."

Niko looks at the picture of the Kedrin. "Jesus."

"All that is from a tiny puncture wound."

"That's awful."

"It's impressive."

Niko gives her a look, "and awful."

She stares at him for a moment. "Yeah," she lies.

* * *

 

 

Villanelle sitting with her legs pulled to her chest on a kitchen table. Eve is a bit surprised to be in another dream again with her. Usually there was a few weeks between dreams. Two women move in front of Villanelle. One of them looks identical to Villanelle except dark brunette hair. She looks more similar to the Villanelle, Eve originally met. Not quite naive, but her eyes didn’t carry harshness in them yet. The other is older, wild dark brown hair clipped back. She can't hear what they say but she can see them laugh and smile.

Eve sits on the table beside Villanelle and doesn't speak. Villanelle must be able to hear them because her cheeks are wet and she sees her face change when there is laughter or a pause. Young Villanelle has flour on her face and the older woman stops her and wipes it off. A tender look flashes in both sets of Villanelle's eyes.

"I was 17 here," Villanelle whispers. Four years younger than when they met.

"Who was she?"

"My French teacher."

Eve looks over at her with wide eyes and waits for her to continue.

Villanelle does, "I loved her and she loved me."

_ You were a kid, _ Eve thinks. "What happened?" She knows this woman isn’t in Villanelle’s life anymore. They were honest about their real life relationships. Eve being married and Villanelle being… well she didn’t spare Eve any details on her real life sexual escapades.

"She figured out who I truly was and didn't want me anymore." Villanelle doesn't look at Eve. She stares as young Villanelle, awkward and lanky, leans down to kiss her French teacher. "That was the first time I kissed her." The French teacher blushes and turns away. Young Villanelle looks confused. "I had wanted her for so long and I didn't understand why I didn't feel anything when I kissed her. There wasn't any sparks or anything. Just… nothingness." Tears are pricking at her eyes again. Young Villanelle reaches forward and pulls her French teacher back towards her. "But I told myself that's just what everyone felt. Just a desire to have something. That the love would come later. Once her husband was out of the picture."

"She chose her husband over you?"

Villanelle laughs. "Yeah, you could say that,  _ Eve Polastri _ ." 

Eve decides she likes her name coming out of Villanelle's mouth. "I won't."

"I can't come see you though."

Eve pulls Villanelle so she leans against her. Villanelle moves her head to rest her forehead on Eve's shoulder. "I'll find you."

"You won't want me anymore."

"Oh I'm sure I will. You're too much of a prick in my side."

Laughter vibrates against her shoulder. "My alarm is going to go off soon."

"That's okay. I'm going to find you before the next one," Eve promises and then she's alone with a French teacher and young Villanelle. Not much of the apartment is really developed. It’s a kitchen without any escape, but Eve walks around trying to pick up any details she can. She thinks about the desperate tone of Villanelle’s voice when she said the word nothingness. As an MI5 agent, Eve’s picked up things about Villanelle. The lack of empathy she has for people when she talks about them. The impulsiveness of her spending. At first Eve had wondered if Villanelle was a model with a strong case of narcissism. She watched countless runway shows and the only explanation for Niko she had was sex-trafficking in the model world. He believed her and even sat down at one point to watch a couple fashion shows with her. She felt terrible as each model came out and disappointment pooled in her chest. 

Then Villanelle showed up to a dream bruised up and Eve knew. Villanelle scored high on the psychopathy scale, definitely has antisocial personality disorder. It all clicked pretty instantly. She assumed Villanelle worked for a russian gang, probably for a parent or relative. Roughed people up when they needed roughed up. Maybe even killed someone, but she couldn’t see Villanelle ever being willing to kill someone. She never bothered to ask Villanelle because like everything about herself, she would neither confirm or deny it, just as Eve never told Villanelle what she did for a living because it would give her location away. So when Villanelle showed up in her dream with two black eyes, bruised jaw, broken nose, and a cheeky grin, Eve shook her head and just asked her to be more careful. 


	2. I might not like you but I doubt that I won't like you

Villanelle didn't hate the blue Burberry dress. Villanelle does hate when men touch her without permission. So she touches him without permission. With a hairpin. In the eye. Adrenaline rushes through her as she holds his face and watches the poison drain his ability to cry for help. Then with the snap of his neck, she is filled with the pleasure sex promises but never delivers. In a haze she writes down the maker of the blanket on her hand before leaving the estate.

* * *

 Villanelle has sex with the same couple from Friday night. Imagines the same pleasure from earlier and tries not picture Eve. She fucks them until they fall asleep around 4 in the morning. Then she wakes them up and kicks them out once again. They may be angry but they'll get over it because she was too much fun for them not to. It's 4:33 in the morning once they're out of her flat. Sleep wasn't an option yet because she could still see Eve and she really didn't want to see her. 

In a pink trench coat over an all black jumpsuit, she ends up at a 24 hour café near her flat. The employees know her as Cara and start a black coffee as soon as the bell rings. She takes a seat in the back of the café and scrolls mindlessly on her phone, willing herself to not look up Eve Polastri. A pretty waitress brings out her coffee and Villanelle hands her enough cash to buy 6 of the coffees. The waitress thanks Villanelle profusely but she's already blowing her off and reading the latest headlines about a hairpin found in Cesare Greco's eye. There's debates if whether he had a mistress who murdered him or it was a maid. Villanelle rolls her eyes. Noone ever thinks of assassins being a real option anymore.

She switches over to YouTube and watches some of the latest fashion shows she wasn't able to attend. Around 7:25 when other patrons are filing in, a single message pops up on the top of her phone.  _ Where are you? _

She responds with a picture of her view out the window and doesn't receive a response.

A few minutes later the café bell rings once again and in walks a burly man looking out of place. His grizzly body, angry face, and white hair isn't very parisian. Villanelle runs a hand through her hair as he marches towards her.

"Good morning," she says and waves to catch the attention of the waitress.

"Sleep well?" He asks, noticing the eyebags Villanelle was sure she had.

"Late night. Let me tell you something. That couple has amazing endurance in the bed." Her lips curl into a smile.

The waitress has made her way over and blushes at Villanelle's comment. She then takes their orders. Tea for Konstantin and another coffee for Villanelle.

In Russian, he explains all the ways she fucked up the Kedrin murder. Then informs her that she will be on a train in an hour to London. She swallows hard as he says it. Well there went avoiding that city like the plague. Villanelle makes sure to get the waitress's number before leaving.

* * *

 

Eve pokes at Bill's wife's cooking like it's Villanelle and she's getting to stab her. They had the chance to start seeing each other every night and Eve has the feeling Villanelle made sure to not sleep last night. It caused Eve to sleep through her alarm and almost late for work.

"You love my wife's cooking so why are you abusing it?" Bill asks.

"I'm not… I'm just…" she trails off with a sigh.

"What is it?"

"The killer was a woman."

"Oh my God!" It's said with annoyance.

"No listen. I interviewed the witness and she said the killer was flat chested. Would you describe a man as flat chested?"

"You interviewed the witness?"

"I-"

"Eve! What's going on with you?"

"Nothing."

"You're going mad."

"No, I'm not. I'm just bored, Bill. Now I have a chance to not be bored because something's happening. This woman is happening. But someone is keeping it from coming out or being too lazy to investigate."

"Are you accusing me of something?"

"No-maybe-yeah," she says.

"Eve, what does it matter if it's a woman? It's not our job."

"But she's new, Bill. And good-no-amazing at what she's going. This murders have been going on for years now. Slowly getting more flamboyant because she's realizing she's untouchable. Did you Tuscany yesterday?"

"No. I didn't because it's not our job. We protect people and do paperwork. Our job is boring. And I'm sorry if you're husband is boring you with," he gestures to his lunch, "with shepherds pie and his bridge club but that does not give you an excuse to go rogue at work." He then points at her. "You could get in a lot of trouble if I was a serious man."

Eve thinks of Villanelle. "Trouble doesn't want to find me."

Bill rolls his eyes at her dramatics. "Just go to the hospital, make sure the witness is comfortable and safe, then go home to your untroubled life and your boring husband."

* * *

 

Eve walks home carrying a half gallon of milk her and Niko didn't need. In three hours, her entire life has changed once again.  _ Why doesn't Villanelle just pop out? _ Eve thinks to herself. It would only add to the craziness of tonight and be the most welcoming event. She was right about the female assassin, but MI6 only thinks she's been operating for two years. Eve could trace the assassin back to at least four years. It started with a German soldier being killed by another soldier, then a US soldier the same way. Both were never investigated more. Probably the assassin's training taken too far. 

Niko's asleep when Eve gets home. She places the milk in the fridge, eats some left over chicken, then makes her way to the couch. In a neat pile, she places her jacket, trousers, and bra on a chair and then pulls the throw off the back of the couch. Her face presses in the back as she hopes she can see Villanelle tonight while she drifts into sleep.

* * *

 

Villanelle enjoys dreams like this. She's in a large empty flat. Not a clue where she is. But it's quiet and she's alone. Warm yellow lights gleaming over dark hardwood floors and bouncing off the tan brick walls. There's space for her to imagine music and dance, letting her eyes fall closed. The heels of her boots click on the floor and echo off the tall ceiling. She's in wide legged royal blue satin pants and a gold sleeveless with a long draping panel. It's what she gets for watching Disney movies on the way back to Paris. The pants and panel flow seamlessly with her movements.

"What are you imagining is playing?" A voice breaks her peace.

Villanelle sighs and turns to Eve. She saw her at the hospital, but Eve hadn't seen her. Eve had been walking into the restroom and Villanelle turned the corner. She froze and forgot that it was supposed to look like a suicide. A part of her wants to ask Eve why she was at the hospital. If everything is okay. But she can't because Eve is smart and will combine Villanelle and the murder of four people. "Let's talk about feelings by Joywave," she answers. 

"Never heard it."

"Listen to it tomorrow. It's a good song," Villanelle says and walks over to Eve. "How are you?"

Eve laughs and shakes her head. "Since I told you who I am can I talk about work now?"

"Sure." Villanelle pulls Eve so they're on the floor. Eve sits cross legged and Villanelle lays on her stomach, propping her chin up with her knuckles.

"So I work for MI5-Worked for MI5."

Villanelle feels her breath catch for a moment. "What do you mean worked?" she asks nonchalantly as her mind starts speeding up. If Eve worked for MI5 that's why she was at the hospital. That's-

"I got fired tonight."

"For what?"

"A witness and three bodyguards died on my watch. Plus, I was doing my own investigation."

"Your own investigation?" Villanelle rolls over and puts her head in Eve's lap. She sticks her bottom lip out and pouts until Eve brushes her fingers through her hair.

"Yeah. This woman who killed my witness. I think she's been working as an assassin for quite some time now. Maybe four years or even longer. Internationally and she's not slowing down. Just in the last week there are six murders I've linked to her. Kedrin in Vienna, Greco in Tuscany, and then the four tonight."

"Do I need to be jealous?" Villanelle asks and laughs. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Eve's literally on the back of Villanelle's heels. Villanelle figured she was still ten or more steps ahead of any social security services. 

"No but listen. So I got fired from MI5 for this investigation, but Carolyn Martins wants to have a meeting with me about her on Thursday. If I'm allowed to investigate her, I'm going to be able to catch her in no time."

"You sound a bit arrogant,  _ Eve _ ."

"Well maybe you're rubbing off on me. Plus I need arrogance to catch her."

"Are you calling me arrogant?"

Eve laughs. "Well I'm definitely not calling you humble."

There's a lull in the conversation and Villanelle lets her eyes drift shut as Eve's nails lightly scratch her scalp. She wonders if she can fall asleep in a dream. 

"Why are we seeing each other so often?" Eve breaks the silence.

Villanelle shrugs and doesn't open her eyes. She's even tired asleep. Apparently skipping sleep wasn't her thing. "Why do we see each other at all?"

"Did you sleep last night?"

"No."

"Why not?" Eve asks and Villanelle knows Eve knows the answer.

Villanelle rolls off of Eve and gets up.

"Stand up," she says and Eve stands. "Close your eyes." Eve closes her eyes and for a moment there's absolute silence. Then she hears birds chirping and cars honking. "Okay, open them."

Eve takes in the change of scenery. "Where are we?"

"My flat."

Which, of course, there are subtle differences. There are curtains on the windows to not see the outdoors. No workout equipment or weapons. Eve doesn't know that.

"Which is where?"

Villanelle laughs and pushes Eve back on the bed. "Somewhere,  _ Eve _ , somewhere." She slides her hands under Eve's top. "Now I want to fuck you on my bed." She leans down to beside Eve's ear. "Then I want you to fuck me and I want to scream your real name as I cum." Of course the feelings of it will be muted. A fraction of what they could be. But overall they'll still feel better than fucking strangers in real life and she thinks Eve feels the same because otherwise she wouldn't crave it like Villanelle does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me questions on tumblr @theworldandyourself  
> or follow me on insta @jordan.closson


	3. Our days and nights are perfumed with obsession

The dark haired man ran away from Villanelle, yelling and begging in Bulgarian. He smacks on the window with despair. Villanelle strolls down the hallway towards him. She's pissed off she has to fuck with him when she could be in bed and with Eve. That was something dangerous about the whole soulmate thing. This morning she read a news story about a couple that died in their sleep because they refused to wake up and slept until dehydration killed them. There were other cases of people doing drugs to fall asleep and overdosing. It was no wonder it was such a looked down upon phenomenon.

The man yells and cries in Bulgarian. Papers fly everywhere when he tries to block her way. She rolls her eyes.

"I don't speak Bulgarian."

He goes behind a desk across from Villanelle. "I have children- a family. Please tell me what this is about. I have money! I can give you anything you want!"

"I want you to stand still," Villanelle growls.

A phone connects with her face. As she yanks out her pistol she hears him apologizes. He falls as she fires a shot off into the desk behind him.

Sobs wrack from her body and they only annoy her more because her head is throbbing with a headache. "Who are you?"

"Huge question."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

This question makes her smile. "I have absolutely no idea."

Two gunshots into his chest and she watches the life is his eyes shrink and disappear. She reaches and falls into the nearest chair. Her long legs swing her back and forth. Eve's asked her countless times who she was. Villanelle usually shrugs instead of answering. She tries not to think of big philosophical questions because it was useless. Why waste your time trying to figure out who you are when you could actually be doing stuff and being yourself?

* * *

****

Carolyn left Eve alone in the office with Kenny. He was quiet-awkward-but quiet. Two people can help her with this. She trails her fingers on the board of her dreams. Dreams. Well, fuck. Immediately she thought of Bill and Elena to help her, but what if she asked Villanelle. It would be interesting and not boring and they'd get to be together. She'll ask tonight if she gets the chance. If not she'll ask Elena. 

No, she'll just ask Elena. Villanelle will just say,  _ but baby that wouldn't happen if it wasn't for these dreams. _ Or something along those lines. 

"There's been another murder," Kenny says behind her.

"What?" Eve jerks around.

He points to his computer so she walks over. "Bulgaria. 11:39 pm. His body was found this morning. Two gunshots to the chest. Blood smeared on windows."

"CCTV?"

"None, all the CCTV was deleted."

"So she knows how to hack computers too. Great. Just fucking great," Eve runs a hand through her hair and then clips it back. "I'm going to go make some phone calls and get us a little team. Will you get that printed out and put up there."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Do you want me to include pictures of the bullet casings?"

Eve picks up her parka. "Yes, please."

* * *

****

"Hello, Eve," Villanelle says as she walks up behind her. "Where are we tonight?"

Villanelle already knows. It's the Louvre. About a ten minute walk from her flat. She wonders why Eve is dreaming of this place. "The Louvre."

"Why this statue?" Villanelle asks. Psyche Revived. A statue of the mythological lovers who went to no ends to be together.

Eve shrugs. "It was my favorite one when Niko and me visited. I was 32 and it was our fifth anniversary."

Villanelle slides her left hand in her dark purple suit and her right around Eve's waist. "I'm not even 32 yet."

"Oh god. Don't remind me. You would have been what?" Eve does the math in her head. "Fifteen at the time?"

"Yep. I was more interested in paintings of naked women then," Villanelle laughs. "Still am."

"Of course. Did you grow up in France?"

"Maybe," Villanelle replies. "Would be strange for me to have such a thick Russian accent then." 

"It has a little bit of French under it. Maybe you grew up in France until you were ten or so then moved to Russia."

"Do you think that?" She presses her lips to Eve's neck and mumbles out a complaint about Eve's hair being up.

"I've thought a lot of things. I thought you were a model at one point."

That makes Villanelle laugh deep and loud. She pulls away from Eve. "I could be. If I wanted to. I'm beautiful."

Eve turns to say something about Villanelle's big ego when she sees the bruise on her eyebrow. "Hey, what happened?"

"I wanted it to match my suit?" She repeats her joke to Konstantin.

This time it gets the laughter it deserves. 

"A guy threw a phone at me," Villanelle admits.

"He threw a phone at you?"

Her bottom lip sticks out and she nods. "He got angry that I refused his offer."

"You're a business woman?"

"Everyone does business, Eve. A kid does business in school when they want to trade food with another student. You and me do business when I offer to fuck you and you raise the stakes and offer to fuck me."

Eve shoves Villanelle, lightly. "You're such a prick."

Villanelle grabs Eve's hand and pulls her into her. "Maybe. But we should do some business."

"Actually," Eve slides hand on Villanelle's chest. "I have a real offer for you."

"Please tell me it's to fuck me against one of the walls here."

"Come work for me."

Villanelle leans forward and kisses Eve. She palms Eve's breast through her shirt then pulls away. "Sorry. I heard the word cum."

"Villanelle," Eve groans then removes Villanelle's hand. "I'm being serious. Carolyn gave me my own office and she's letting me have a team. Two people. I want you to come work for me and help me find this assassin."

"Eve, I can't. I have my own personal life and job that I can't just walk away from."

"That you get beat up at on the regular."

"You're not being fair."

She pulls away from Villanelle. "How long till you die!" It echoes in the empty Louvre. "How long until I realize that you aren't appearing in my dreams again? Until I end up as one of those people who died in her sleep because they were waiting for their soulmate to show up?"

"Eve," Villanelle walks forward and tries cusp Eve's face. 

Eve smacks her hand away. "What do you do for a living?"

"Work."

"No. What do you really do?"

"Who do you think I am?" She yells. Villanelle is towering over Eve. Then in a whisper, "who do you think I am?"

Eve shoves her away and then steps forward. "I think you are a psychopath." She pushes Villanelle back again but follows her so the space between them is smaller. "I think you enjoy torturing me by not letting us be together."

"Eve, I love you."

"No, you don't. You think because of all of this, you love me. You  _ have _ to love me."

"You love me!"

"No! I love my real life husband. I get to sleep beside him. I get to touch him. He makes me smile and laugh and he's kind."

"You're mine."

"I'm your soulmate but I'm not  _ yours _ ."

"You are. You're mine!" Villanelle yells with a slight amount of unhingedness that would make Eve scared if they weren't in a dream. The yelling is making her wake up and as everything fades away she hears Villanelle call out her name one more time.

* * *

****

“Thank you for making such an effort, Villanelle,” Jerome compliments her pink tulle dress. She looks at Konstantin as if to say I told you this was a good outfit. “How do you feel about the people you work for?”

Villanelle eyes the handmade bracelet on Konstantin’s wrist. “I respect their privacy.”

“Do you have any interest in why you are asked to do what you do?”

Oh god no. She shakes her head. Those matters never mattered to her. 

“There are concerns about your state of mind.”

“Okay?”

“Have you been feeling any anxiety or stress lately?”

“I had quite a heavy period last week, but other than that, I think I am okay.”

“How have you been sleeping?”

Villanelle pauses for a moment. Her shoulders tense, and she takes in a deep breath. “Fine. Missed some sleep two nights ago because of a job.”

“How did the job go?”

“I shot him twice in the heart and watched the light drain from his eyes.” Joy fills the words of the statement.

“Konstantin tells me you skipped sleeping the night before London.”

“I was having sex.”

“But you didn’t go to sleep afterwards? You went to the cafe near your flat.”

“I wanted a coffee.”

Jerome nods. “Villanelle is there something you need to share with us? Any dreams or-”

“If I was having those  _ dreams _ , I’d find the person and kill them for interrupting my sleep.”

The two men share a look and Jerome leans forward. “Thank you for coming today, Villanelle. It’s always nice to you. But I’m afraid I’m not signing you off.”

Villanelle stands up. Flips Jerome off. Then marches out of the stupid room. Fucking Eve. Costing her, her job and money, and- just fuck Eve. And fuck Konstantin. Villanelle is fine. She decides she’ll still do this job. If she hugs Konstantin he’ll be surprised and she’ll be able to steal the postcard. 

* * *

****

Eve catches up to Bill not too far away from the office. She’s annoyed and tired. Villanelle being stubborn as ever, Niko and her got in a fight this morning over something stupid, and now her best friend is undermining her.

“Hey! Are you serious? I have backed you for over 10 years, now I'm asking you to see it from my perspective for five minutes, and you literally run away?” Eve yells at Bill.

He just frowns. “I’m getting chocolate.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Is your blood sugar low?”

“Yeah. It is. Plus I think you could use some caffeine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Either you are pulling all nighters investigating this hypothetical assassin, or something is causing you to not sleep well and we both know you’re husband isn’t keeping you up at night.”

“Hey! Niko’s…” Eve trails off defeated. “Is it that obvious?”

“Not unless you know the signs.”

“Did you?”

“Once upon a time, but that’s a long time ago,” Bill says with a distant twinkle in his eye.

“You never told me.”

“It never came up.” 

They walk into a coffee shop and Bill gestures for Eve to sit down while he buys a coffee and chocolate. Eve thinks about how distraught she must look for it to be that easy for Bill to piece it together. Regret sags down her chest, she shouldn’t have even asked Villanelle and she knew that.

“So what’s he like?” Bill asks and slides into the seat beside her.

“She,” Eve corrects. A few drops of coffee splash out as she blows on it.

“She? I didn’t know you liked women.”

“I didn’t either.”

“They start recently?”

“Five years ago.”

“Then why haven’t you two met?”

“She insists that we just let  _ fate _ control what happens.” Eve takes a drink of her bitter coffee that matches her attitude.

“Well do you know her name?”

She shakes her head. “No, she goes by  _ Villanelle _ , she’s a smug arsehole. Russian and…”

“And?” He smiles.

“She’s twenty six years old.”

“Eve Polastri!” he scolds. “That’s quite a scandal you’ve gotten yourself into.”

Eve leaves out the details of her being a psychopath and probably an overall bad person. “I’m just trying to not focus on it. Mostly because I think finding this assassin is going to be easier than finding her.”

“What does she look like?”

“Bill.”

“Come on, Eve, entertain me for a little bit and I’ll suck it up that I’m no longer the boss and I’ll listen to your theories.”

She thinks about it for a moment. “Fine.” How to describe Villanelle? “I thought she was a model at first.”

Bill laughs. “Was she?”

“I doubt it, but she could be. She’s tall. Tall as Carolyn if not taller. Slim. Stunning. Honey blonde hair. Her face is soft, smooth, bright. Usually her hair is tied back exposing her long neck. Full lips and high cheekbones.” Eve shakes her head. “Her eyes are intense. Wide, alert. They can look right through you and you feel like she knows everything about you. Yet, they’re also… inaccessible. She can make you talk for hours and not until the conversation is done you realize, you know nothing about her.”

“You sound like you really like her.”

“I love Niko.”

“I never said you didn’t.” He raises his hands in defense. “What are you going to do about this?”

“I don’t know. I basically told her to fuck off last night.”

“You didn’t!”

“I was just pissy because I offered her to come help me find this assassin and she refused.”

“She refused?” Bill asks. There’s a look in his eyes she can’t quite place. “What was her reasoning?”

“She has her own job and personal life she can’t just leave.”

“What does she do for a living?”

“She won’t tell me.”

“Peculiar,” Bill says and leans back. “Well we should get back to the office so we can locate this assassin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send me questions on tumblr @theworldandyourself  
> or follow me on insta @jordan.closson


	4. I am your sweetheart, psychopathic crush

There was satisfaction knowing Frank made up the CCTV. Niko made dinner for them and pretended they didn't fight this morning. Pretends that Eve isn't going to sleep on the couch again tonight. He comes up beside her as she reads a magazine on the couch.

"So what did you do today?"

"Oh nothing much. I had an early yoga class then Elena and I had a late lunch."

"That's all? You seem worn out…" he trails off.

"Are you suggesting something?"

"No, I think you just aren't getting good rest on this couch. You should join me in bed."

Eve sits her magazine down and looks at her husband. "You know I've been having bad dreams. I don't want to wake you up."

"Bad dreams or-"

"I'm working for MI6."

Niko laughs.

"No, I'm serious. I was right about the assassin. They want me to find her."

"Eve, isn't that a bit dangerous?"

"Maybe, but I'm nobody. This flamboyant assassin isn't going to care about someone like me."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, she's killing people."

"And that's the only reason you want to find her?"

Eve looks at him confused. "You look exhausted.  Why don't you head to bed and then when I'm done here I'll join you? We can talk about this tomorrow."

"Okay," he squeezes her shoulder. "Don't stay up too late." Then as he starts to walk away. "I love you, Eve."

He doesn't get a response.

* * *

 

Villanelle bends over and grabs a bottle of champagne out of the fridge while Konstantin sits down on her couch. Her boyfriend, Sebastian, is waiting out the door for them to finish talking. She was waiting for him to drop dead from inhaling her ‘perfume’. The job was easy. Too easy and Konstantin lied about the security.

“Why did you lie to me? There was no security.” Villanelle places the champagne down and sits beside Konstantin.

“I don’t have to tell you, you have to trust me.”

“No.” She laughs and pulls out a knife. “You have to trust me.” The blade presses into his throat and she debates giving his beard the trim she promised.

He pulls out his own knife and holds it against her.

“ _ Okay _ , we can fight,” she leans in, “but you will get tired and I will get bored, and you don’t like it when I get bored.” She shrugs. “Besides if I kill you, they’ll just send another one. If you kill me, I’m sure there will be punishments.”

“I thought you worried about me.”

Villanelle tilts her head and shrugs.

“You are so dramatic.”

“Tell me,” she orders and pushes the knife a little closer.

“There’s a woman in London leading a department just to find you.”

There’s a gasp. She wants to tell Eve I told you so, that there lives would be intertwined without any added help.

“No, it’s not a good thing. It’s a closed operation. We don’t know what they know but we are working on it. We just need to be subtle at the moment.”

She lowers the knife and throws it into the wall across the couch. It lodges itself above the fridge. “I can be subtle.”

“Good.” Konstantin rubs his throat and puts his own knife away.

“Mmm,” Villanelle leans forward and grabs the champagne, “but it’s going to be expensive.” She pauses for a moment. “So what’s her name?”

“Why?” He looks over at her then rolls his eyes. “Eve Polastri.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. There it was. “Eve,” The cork pops and champagne starts spilling over her hands, “Polastri.”  _ Well, Eve Polastri, let the games begin _ .

* * *

 

There's a long table between the two of them. One of the ones that belong in a wealthy home and could seat almost twenty people. Eve sits at the head of the table on one side and Villanelle sits at the head of the table on the other side. There was probably a metaphor about power somewhere in the dream. 

Villanelle slices into her steak. Grinding of a knife against a glass plate ringing in the silent room. It's bleeding all over and it's still cold in the center. She bites into a huge chunk savagely and watches Eve's face contorts into disgust. She's finally allowed herself to look up Eve Polastri since Konstantin brought her up. There was a satisfaction of knowing Eve's husband looked like a piece of fudge.  _ And that mustache _ . He was boring. Teacher during the day, ran a bridge club at night.

"Villanelle," Eve finally breaks the silence. She doesn't apologize. 

So neither does Villanelle. "How is your job?"

"It's good. My friends Bill and Elena joined the team."

"Which one would I have replaced?"

"Elena."

"You and Bill go back?" She makes a gesture with her fork before chomping down on a new piece of steak. 

"Yeah, we've worked together at MI5 for over ten years now."

"You worked the same position for over ten years? Eve, you should have been working for MI6 a long time ago. I think this Bill is holding you back."

"Villanelle, I don't want to fight again."

"I'm not fighting."

Eve gives her a pointed look.

"I'm not! I'm just pointing out the obvious."

"How about you?"

"What?"

Eve sits her utensils down in her salad bowl and walks over to Villanelle. Crossing her arms, she leans against the edge of the table. Villanelle eyes her up and down. "How's work been?"

"I got put on leave." It's the first piece of information she gives up to Eve. She scoots her chair back and Eve takes it as an invitation to straddle her lap.

"What for?"

"I failed an assessment. Been coming to work tired."

Eve laughs and runs a hand through Villanelle's hair. It's down and lightly curled. "God, trust me I understand. Niko and me have been getting in fights more often and Bill called me out for being so tired all the time."

"Do you like the mustache?"

"What- Ohmygod. You looked me up."

"Of course I did."

Eve shakes her head and leans down to kiss Villanelle. "I'm still mad at you."

Villanelle kisses her for a moment before pulling away. "You know, you should never call psychopath a psychopath. It upsets them."

"Are you upset?"

Villanelle pouts. Sticking out her bottom lip, closing her eyes, she nods. 

Eve leans forward and captures the lip between hers. "You are so full of shit," she mumbles as Villanelle perks up, then Villanelle is gone. It startles Eve and she wakes up herself.

* * *

 

It was around midnight when Eve woke up on the couch. She figured Niko was already asleep upstairs, and she herself was going to struggle to get anymore sleep tonight so she made her way to the office. 

Now, it was nearing one in the morning and she’s trying to piece together all the descriptions of the assassin. Some had her as blonde, some had her as brunette. Some said she dressed in expensive clothes while others said she looked like a nobody. The door behind her buzzes then opens. Bill walks in and groans when he sees her.

“You too, huh?”

“I couldn’t sleep. What’s your excuse? Avoiding sleep so you don’t have to see your girlfriend?”

“I- no, I slept for a little bit.”

“You two make up?”

“Maybe? I don’t know.”

“You know, they say when the dreams start occurring more often that the two people are getting closer to each other.”

“You think she’s in London?”

“It doesn’t have to be physically, maybe something around you two is happening that’s going to make you two meet.”

Eve stares at him. “God, you’re so weird. You and Villanelle would like each other.”

He eyes the murder board. “Would we?” Then he glances at Eve’s computer. “So what do we know about your other crush?”

She smacks him. “She’s an assassin, Bill. I do not have a crush on her. Also, she’s either blonde or brunette. Probably young, mid-twenties or lower. Has to be fit. Highly intelligent, speaks multiple languages. Scores high on the psychopathic scale- oh my god.”

He gives her a look that he already knows. “It’s Villanelle isn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send questions to @theworldandyourself  
> or follow me on insta @jordan.closson


	5. I had all and then most of you

"What do I do, Bill!" Eve's marching around the office. Her hair is frazzled from running her hands through it. There's a loud crashing in the room and it takes Eve a moment to realize it's her own heartbeat. An assassin? A psychopath, people killing, assassin. "I can't- I- Bill- Carolyn will fire me when I tell her."

He watches Eve's miniature breakdown and waits for her to calm down before speaking. "Who said you have to tell Carolyn?"

"I-What are you suggesting?" She stops and sinks into the chair beside him.

"Villanelle knows about us right?"

Eve nods.

"Then why don't we use that to our advantage. Make her think we are looking in the wrong direction, so she keeps being extravagant and makes it easy for us to find her."

"So don't tell her I know? How? You want me to keep pretending things are normal when I know she probably killed someone a few hours before?"

"Exactly. It's not like you're sleeping with her or anything."

Then there's a look on Eve's face.

"Eve! You're kidding me. You are married."

"It's just in the dreams, that-"

"Makes it not cheating?"

She realizes how dumb that sounds out loud now. "That's what I thought. Jesus Bill, I'm fucked ain't I?"

Bill reaches forward and grabs her hand. "No, you're going to be fine. We'll catch her and you can decide what to do from there."

"She'll be killed on sight."

"No no no, they'll bring her into witness protection. Use her to find the people controlling her."

"And what if she tells them about us? MI6 will consider me a traitor for not telling them and instead of firing me, I'll be arrested for treason."

"Do you trust her?"

"Obviously I shouldn't."

"But you do. So you have to trust this will work out." He pauses. "You also might want to look into getting a divorce."

* * *

****

Berlin is full of beautiful women. Villanelle is so excited. She needed the perfect one, so she makes her way to a touristy coffee shop. Takes a seat three away from an older woman with large head full of hair. Her eyes had been drawn to Villanelle the moment she walked in so Villanelle knew she wouldn't have much trouble. Nervous eyes keep glancing at her so she raises a hand and waves her over.

The tan trench sways as she walks over. Her shoulders are tense, she's not confident. She sits on the edge of her seat and holds a hand out to Villanelle. "I'm Pamela."

"Julie," Villanelle responds and takes her hand. "What brings you to Berlin?"

"Just, um, trying new things."

"I  _ love _ new things." She pulls the hand up to her lips. "I love  _ trying _ new things." Her lips vibrate again Pamela's hand.

"Oh!" Pamela stutters for a moment, "is there anything you want to try?"

Villanelle puts her hand down. "Yes. Do you want to show me to your hotel room?"

* * *

****

She used Eve's name. Which meant whoever she works for knows about Eve. Villanelle wouldn't have just used her name on the fly. No it was plan-a warning? Was she warning Eve that she was getting to close? 

"Are you leaving me?"

Eve jumps and jerks around. "Jesus, Niko."

He leans against the doorway. "You know this is the first time we've been in the bedroom together since you got fired from MI5."

Eve tugs on her suitcase. "I thought you had parents night?"

"I told you this morning it got moved to tomorrow night."

With another tug, Eve's suitcase comes down and a bunch of other things come cluttering down. 

"Eve, are you leaving me?" Niko repeats.

"I-no- I have a job in Berlin."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Eve stares at him, then looks away nodding. Her tongue presses against the back of her bottom lip. "I don’t know. Something’s just missing here, wouldn’t you agree?”

He nods and rubs at his hand. “Can we talk about it when you get home? Then you can decide?”

“Sure,” she agrees.

“Will you be sleeping up here tonight?”

She shakes her head and watches as he rolls off the doorway and out of the bedroom to let her pack.

* * *

 

Villanelle slides her arms around Eve's midsection. The point of her chin presses into her shoulder. Cold winter snow falls on the pair. Wind blows Eve's simple blue parka and Villanelle's lavender pea coat. Both of their hairs pulled into messy buns on top of their heads. Eve should be cold but Villanelle radiates heat.

"Hello, darling, do you know where we are?" Villanelle whispers in Eve's ear.

"Russia?"

"Correct. But where?" Villanelle takes her hands off Eve and wraps one in Eve's gloved hand. 

"I don't know, it's a forest."

"Thanks Captain obvious."

Eve doesn't respond. She thinks about how the hand in hers has killed countless people. Villanelle is a killer. But here she was in a lavender peacoat, black combat pants, and all white Doc Martin's and Eve couldn't help but see innocence. They walk down a path in silence, twigs cracking under their feet. A cabin comes into view.

"Are you mad at me?" Villanelle finally breaks the silence as they walk up the porch.

"What? No? I just had a long day."

Villanelle nods. "I understand." Then she's pulling Eve into the small cabin. There's one full size bed to the right, a small child size sleeping bag beside it, and the kitchen is on the other side. "This is where I grew up."

"What?"

"I know. Not as lavish as you would expect, but it was… something. My dad couldn't afford more, between his drinking habits and my mom's medical bills." 

"Medical bills?"

"Yeah," she doesn't elaborate. Instead she walks over and starts a fire with immediate success. Then she sits on the floor in front of it and pats the spot beside her. "Come sit with me Eve."

Eve listens because what else would she do. "It's nice."

"No, it's not. The window by the door would be broken in real life. My dad threw a bottle of vodka at my head when I came home one night. Started bitching about how the school was saying I had antisocial tendencies."

"How old were you at the time?"

"Eleven. I got in a fight with another student who called my dad a drunk." Villanelle picks a piece of fuzz off her coat and throws it towards the fire. "I didn't want to believe she was right."

Eve looks over at Villanelle as if she's really seeing the woman for the first time. She can't quite place the emotion but she can't help herself from grabbing Villanelle's hand and pretending that the 1% possibility of the assassin not being her is the real percent. "I love you."

Villanelle's head jerks over. "But the other night?"

"I know."

"You are very indecisive, Eve Polastri."

"Not anymore." Maybe Bill was right. Maybe be Villanelle would be put in witness protection. Maybe Eve should stop denying herself nice things. "I'm going to find you." Eve straddles Villanelle. She should feel fear. But frankly, Villanelle is never going to kill Eve so she has nothing to worry about. "I'm going to love you." She kisses Villanelle and Villanelle rolls them over. When she pulls away, Eve speaks again. "I’m going to make sure no one ever hurts you.”

Villanelle laughs and traces her hand over Eve’s throat. When she squeezes, Eve’s hips buck underneath her. Her breath is warm on Eve’s ear. “But I like it when we hurt each other.” Then she pulls her jacket off. Then her shirt. Then bra. And Eve’s wearing too many clothes. Villanelle grabs Eve’s hand and places it on her throat. “I really like it when you hurt me.”

* * *

 

After swiping Eve’s suitcase, Villanelle realizes she needs to go shopping for the woman. There were just terrible. Except this green scarf. The zebras are horrendous but the color of green? She could make it work. Pamela would wear the other clothes. The toilet flushes and in walks Konstantin.

“I thought I could smell something,” she comments and turns to face him. 

“Are you having a nice holiday in Berlin?”

“Yes, I like Berlin.”

“Why?”

“There’s a lot to see. Have you seen the wall?”

“Yes.”

“The Jewish museum?”

“Yes. Now, listen. I have a job for you, off the record.”

“Off the record. That sounds like another way to say I’m not getting paid.”

“You remember that woman I told you about? Eve Polassi?

“Polastri?”

“Polastri. She’s here, investigating your work.”

“It was subtle!”

“You clamped his balls.”

“That was standard procedure. He liked it,” she shrugs.

Konstantin sits down on the bed beside the suitcase and looks at the contents. “These don’t look like you.”

“Why are you so worried?”

“Aren’t you?”

“No, I don’t even think about her.”

He sighs. “I want you to watch her. See who she meets while she is here. Just follow her. I’m asking.”

“Okay,” She says and fixes Eve’s scarf around her neck.

“No naughty buisness.” He wags his finger.

She holds out her pinky. “I won’t be naughty.” She moves her pinky closer to his face. “I promise.”

He takes her pinky promise. 

“Oh! I’m sorry,” Pamela exclaims from behind them. “They gave me the key downstairs.” Then she realizes she should hold out her hand. “Is this- I’m-”

Villanelle launches herself over to shut this nervous wreck up. “This is my friend. Her name is Pamela.”

Konstantin waves. “Hi, Pamela. I’m her…”

She goes back to Konstantin. “Angry Uncle.” Then feigns fear as he leans in.

“Find out what they’re doing, who they’re meeting, and don’t do anything stupid.”

Her head goes up and down quickly and she flinches as he moves to leave. It seems to do the trick because Pamela is watching with wide eyes.

“Wow. He’s really good.”

Villanelle laughs and gestures for her to come over to the suitcase.

“Are these for me?”

“Oh, yeah,” she slides out, then hands Pamela an outfit. “Go get changed in the other room. I’ll get ready in here.”

Pamela is such a good listener. Probably because she is so desperate. She takes the outfit and leaves Villanelle in the bedroom. It doesn’t take Villanelle long to get ready. Just takes the suitcase off the bed, her clothes off her body, and leaves the green scarf draped between her breasts. She sits on the bed and leans back, propping herself up with stretched arms. Her legs are crossed and she watches as Pamela reenters the room wearing Eve’s clothes.

“Oh wow. What do you want me to do?”

Villanelle smiles. Such a good girl. “I want you to choke me using this scarf while you fuck me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to fucking spell and it took me ten minutes to spell the word horrendous because I thought it was spelled with a z. Also thank yall for the nice comments! Really! They fill my need for validation especially because all of this is spur of the moment writing and not planned


	6. Some and now none of you

Eve changes into the blue dress while Bill takes a seat on her bed. She wets her armpits to shave them and pretends to not see Bill's judgemental eyes.

"You better take that bra off."

"Excuse me?" Eve pops her head out to look at him.

"Take your bra off."

"Why? Because I'm meeting with some sleezy guy and me taking my bra off means I will get information?"

"No, because dresses like that means taking your bra off," Bill answers and rolls his eyes. "How's things with Niko? I noticed he hasn't called. Probably won't be too happy when he hears about the suitcase."

"We're having a talk when I get back."

"A talk or  _ the  _ talk."

She slips the bra off and walks out of the bathroom. "I'm not telling him about Villanelle."

"Of course not."

"I told him I might be leaving him."

"Wow, straight to the point then?" Bill raises an eyebrow. "Have you seen her since?"

"Once."

"Did you manage to not tell her?"

Eve nods. "She's opening up to me. It took five years but… Bill what if we're wrong?"

"We could be. But your dreams with her started happening more after you started chasing this assassin. And their descriptions match. And Villanelle refuses to tell you who she really is because she's afraid you'll leave her."

"I just… I don't know Bill. There's just… this look in her eyes. Like she's so sad. A psychopathic assassin wouldn't be sad would they?"

"Maybe if they couldn't tell their soulmate who they were."

Eve shakes her head. "So tell me about you."

* * *

 

No shirt under the blazer, or a dark blue pussy bow blouse? Villanelle tilts her head as she tries to decide. She's standing in front of her bed in the Dries Van Noten suit bottoms and dark red Doc Martens. Her bra is a lace red that matches the suit. Laid out on the bed to the far left is the matching blazer, in the middle Eve's scarf and a gold chain, on the right is the blouse. She jerks her head over to her open hotel room closet. There is the dark red satin blouse that would match her boots, but because it's so low cut it wouldn't be appreciated under her blazer. 

Bill and Eve's conversation is crackling through the bug she placed on Eve's belt. So Eve knows who she is? Or more so, Bill knows who she is. Maybe she should take care of this Bill. Or she could catch Eve and take her to a club. She knew of a nice one. There are just too many decisions so Villanelle combines them.  _ If I don't wear anything but a bra and Eve's scarf under the blazer, I will kill Bill. If I wear the blue blouse, I won't do anything. If I wear the low cut red one, I'll ask Eve to go to the club. _

"Walk me to the train?" Eve asks Bill.

And, well, Villanelle then doesn't have time to put on a shirt. So with a sadistic grin she slides on the scarf, clasps the necklace, and slips into the blazer. Her fingers slide the buttons into place as she walks towards her own luggage bag that contains the tiny knife. When Villanelle stands up from grabbing the knife she catches her reflection in the mirror. Her middle fingers pull down her bottom eyelids. Sad eyes? What's that supposed to mean? Villanelle's eyes carries the ability to make people submit like a dog.

It's a short walk to Weberwiese station. She takes long strides that make people move out of her way. People are intimidated by a woman with dead eyes, and a power walk. Villanelle swirls someone's lanyard of keys around her index finger. She wasn't sure who's, found it lying on the counter of the hotel lobby. It gave her something to play with while she walked. 

She jogs down the steps of station and drops the keys into a trash can. Bill and Eve are already here, talking away. Villanelle fidgets with the monitor and watches out of the corner of her eye, Bill pass her. He eyes her as she slides a hand into her pocket and walks away from the monitor. For a moment she loses herself. Eve is so beautiful. Her hair’s down, probably due to the countless times Villanelle has told her to wear it down. The train begins to pull up and without thinking she goes to enter it too, forgetting her plan. 

Bill's hand connects with her arm and stops her from entering the car. She looks at him with surprise then remembers what she decided to do.

"That's a lovely scarf," he says in German. "Can I ask where you go it?"

She slides her hand in her jacket and grips it. "Thank you. My mom owns a boutique in Munich. I could give you the address?" She offers.

"Ah, shame. I'm only in town for a few days and don't have the time. Thank you."

Villanelle gives a sharp nod and pushes past him. She smiles when she hears footsteps following her. Her hand sits in her pocket and she presses her thumb against the blade until there’s a small bead of blood.

* * *

 

_ "Eve, it's her. I'm following her. She was trailing you at the station. Get back up, I'm in Cassiopeia." _

_ "I'm in a club called Funkeln. She's in here too. I lost her, but I'm going to find her." _

Eve listens to the voicemails again as she jogs up to the bouncer. "It's an emergency. Let me in. Please let me in," she began then pulls out her badge. He moves out of her way and she runs into the club. The bodies are slamming against her and have no clue they all had the potential to die. Then she spots that stupid fedora. Her eyes trail over and a few yards away she spots her. People will not get out of Eve's way as she watches Villanelle smile and Bill turn to run away.

"No! No! Bill!" Eve yells on the verge of tears. "Villanelle! Please don't!" It's a sob as she watches Villanelle catch up to him. "Bill!" She screams as just barely she notices him bleeding while being pushed into the crowd. For a moment her eyes catch Villanelle's, who's smile disappears and swallows harshly before she walks backwards into the crowd, them being much more willing to part for someone like Villanelle than someone like Eve.

Villanelle can hear Eve's sobs over the music. Other people can't, but it's the only noise in her ears as she leaves the woman. Eve wasn't supposed to be here. Eve was supposed to be on some meeting with a politician that wanted to fuck her. Everyone moves out of Villanelle's way as she starts jogging through them. Her shoulder slams into the fire escape and the cold air hits her. Her head shoots to either side of the alleyway. No police yet, but that wouldn't last long. She doesn't want to get caught walking down the street.

There's a fire escape on just the other side and she climbs the ladder up to the second floor then jogs up the stairs to the rooftop. Wind whips the bottom of her pants and the pieces of her hair that's fallen out. The next two buildings are connected so she jumps over the barriers and walks quickly across the final rooftop to it's fire escape. One more gust of wind catches her as she jogs down and she can feel the coolness of it against her wet cheeks. 

* * *

 

Of course she's here tonight. The grey walls stare her down. Solitary confinement this time, instead of her cell. Although the hole could have been considered her cell because she spent more time there then in her actual cell. Her fist crunches when she punches it into the wall. Villanelle hates being alone and the anxiety of the small room is buzzing in the air. It's why she fills her free time with meaningless sex or going to clubs or fashion shows. One of her evaluators tried to psychoanalyze her and said she had PTSD from solitary confinement. Villanelle told her that she had PTSD from having to see her evaluator's ugly face. 

Small sobs sound from outside the red door. The opening for food is removed. Villanelle bends over and glances through it. Eve sits on the wall opposite of the door. She doesn't know Villanelle is here. Villanelle doesn't regret killing Bill but she regrets hurting Eve. Eve starts to look up and Villanelle moves so Eve doesn't see her. She's probably the last thing Eve wants to see right now. Over time, Eve will understand why Villanelle did it. Bill wasn't giving Eve the push she needed. He was too passive. 

"I'm going to have MI6 kill you when I find you," she hears Eve say. Eve must assume Villanelle is here. "No, I'll let them throw you in a cell like this for the rest of your life. No contact with anyone." Eve can feel the anxiety ridden into the walls of a place like this. 

"I'll tell them about these," Villanelle speaks up and threatens.

"Do it. I don't care," Eve's voice is drained of emotion. "Why him?"

"He was holding you back."

"He was my best friend! You don't get to just kill people whenever you think it's convenient."

"You only love people when it's convenient. You love Niko when you're mad at me. You love me when I'm being honest or as you call it  _ sad _ ."

"That's- I'll never love you now."

"That's fine." Villanelle shrugs. "I knew deep down that no one ever would." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.... Im sorry. I went back and forth. I really didn't want to kill Bill because he's just amazing (and it's going to make my life harder trying to figure out how Eve forgives Villanelle) but it felt necessary to them. It gives Eve incentive to find Villanelle no matter what it costs. I think his death is really what changed their relationship to infatuation to obsession in the show and I don't know if it will have the same effect here but I guess we'll all see because I'm only seeing this chapters like an hour before y'all like I'm sorry if it's written poorly but like when I have an idea I've got to do it asap. I'm also not doing any of my online school work because of this and that's 100 percent my fault but my parents get my two week report tomorrow and I'm going to get sooooooo yelled at.


	7. And I'm so scared of dying alone

    Elena stands beside Eve. Their shoulders barely touch. Eve wonders if she should regret saying she wants to kill Villanelle with her bare hands.

    "Did you see her?" Elena asks.

    "I- no it was dark in the club. The only reason I spotted Bill was because of that dumb fedora he insisted on wearing," Eve protects Villanelle, or herself. She really didn't feel like giving another description of Villanelle again. "We can have Kenny look at the CCTV from the station, though."

    "Yeah. That should work. It'll be nice to finally have a face to this assassin. Does that mean we're still going through with this?"

    Eve doesn't agree or disagree, she doesn't say anything. She picks at a hangnail while a new set of tears run down her face. They aren't for Bill, though. They're for the solid grey walls of a Russian solitary confinement cell and the young woman that genuinely believes she'll never be loved.

    “I noticed you and Niko didn’t come together.”

    “He moved all of his stuff out while I was gone. Just left a note saying he was staying with a friend.”

    “That’s a coward’s move.”

    “It’s probably better, before…” _he ends up like Bill_.

* * *

 

    A party! Parties always make everything better. Villanelle prepares a birthday party for Konstantin. One of these times she’ll be right about the date. She’s in the bathroom fixing up her beard when the front door opens. Konstantin passes by without looking over and she follows him to the living room.

    “Villanelle?” He turns and sees her getting ready to dance. “What are you doing?”

    “Happy Birthday!” She dances up to him.

    “It’s not my birthday.”

    “Dance with me!”

    “Turn the music off.” He lets her take his hand and begins dancing.

    “Dance with me!” She positions and prepares to jump so he can lift her. She saw it in that one movie.

    “What are you doing?”

    “Okay, lift me.” She started moving towards him.

    “I have a bad shoulder.”

    “Lift me!”

    He picks her up and tosses her onto the bed.

    Villanelle flashes him an incredulous look.

    “Turn this music off.”

    She shakes her head and climbs off the bed. “I was just trying to do something nice for your birthday.”

    “It’s not my birthday,” Konstantin replies.

    “Then tell me when it is!”

    “We need to talk.”

    “Oh.” Villanelle scratches her beard as he talks.

    “Can we go somewhere without balloons?”

    She nods and goes to the closet where she grabs a chair. Then she leads him to the bathroom where she sits on the edge of her bath and lets him take the chair.

    Villanelle reaches back into the tub and pulls out a gift.

    “You are being very nice.”

    “Open it!” she calls out like a child. “Also, I’m just excited to see you.”

    “Or is it because you know I’m angry- very angry.” He opens his gift and looks at the headphones. “Woah, thank you. These are cool.”

    “One more!” Villanelle shouts with excitement as he reaches to grab the next gift.

    “Wait,” He grabs her hand and turns her back towards him. “What’s your name?”

    “Konstantin.”

    He rips off her beard and mustache. "What is your name?"

    Her jaw drops, that’s twice in one meeting he’s hurt her. “Villanelle.”

    “Are you sure it’s not Eve Polastri?” He watches her face drop. “Do you think I don’t know everything? As for the partner-”

    “He was following me.”

    “He was off limits. I don’t think I can trust you anymore."

    "So what are you going to do about that?"

    "You have a job in England. With your little brothers and sisters. No more working alone." He stands up and pulls out a postcard. "This will tell you where to meet them."

    "Will you open it?" Villanelle asks and stops Konstantin in the doorway. "Please."

    He rolls his eyes and opens it. A stuffed rabbit.

    "For your daughter."

    Even if he tries to keep his face calm and collected, his eyes flash with fear. For a moment he forgot Villanelle didn't care about anyone, including him. He shakes his hand so his cuff covers the bracelet Villanelle spotted at the assessment.

    "Did you think I don't know anything?" 

* * *

 

    There's a knock on Eve's door. Then another harder one, and Eve grabs the knife off her kitchen counter after placing down her glass of wine. But really? What was Eve going to do with a knife? It wasn’t like she could actually stab Villanelle, even if Villanelle was here to kill her. Her shoulders tense as she walks towards the front door. She has to roll on to her tiptoes to see through the peephole. No one's outside.

    Undoing the deadbolt and the lock on the door handle she yanks the front door open. Her suitcase from Berlin sits on the top of the stoop. Eve glances around to see if she can spot anyone before she grabs it and drags it into the house. Before relocking the door, she sits the knife down beside the front door for emergencies.

    It's heavier than she remembers, but she manages to lug it all the way upstairs to her bedroom. The name on the tag is hers. She prays that this is just some kind soul returning it and not anyone else. When she unzips and opens it, Eve gets her answer. There's expensive clothes in the bag, shirts, pants, a dress… underwear. Then a note taped to a small box.

_Sorry Baby_

_x_

    The box under it is perfume that reads _La Villanelle_ , and Eve's slamming the suitcase shut. She'll give it to forensics tomorrow. If Villanelle wants to play a game, Eve will play because there's only two outcomes and they're both in Eve's favor.

* * *

 

    The old MI5 office. Eve smiles as she trails her fingers over her old desk. The younger version of herself looks so excited to be working at MI5 even if it's just a desk job. Eve's maybe 30 years old here. Elena's not even in the office yet. Just her and Bill, who she's sure is probably napping off a hangover in his office right now. The thought makes her hurry to his office just to see him again.

    Except Bill isn't the person napping in his office. Villanelle sits in his chair with her feet propped on his desk. Her eyes are closed and she looks calm and collected. A white suit with dark brown pinstripes fall angelic on her skin with a satin brown blouse underneath the blazer. She rests her head on her hands against the back of the chair.

    "Did you like my gift?" Villanelle asks without opening her eyes.

    "Was it a threat?" Eve asks.

    Villanelle sits up and drops her feet to the ground. "What? No. Didn't you get the note? It was an apology." She seems genuinely confused at Eve's reaction.

    "Do you really think some expensive clothes and perfume are equal to murdering my best friend?"

    "Did you smell the perfume?" Villanelle says slowly and scrunches her eyebrows. "Do you want more clothes?"

    "I want you out of my fucking head!" Eve yells and it's a word for word quote from their first dream together. Except Villanelle had said it and not Eve.

    Villanelle nods. "It's not that easy though is it?" She looks down and tugs at a hangnail. "Do you want me to kill myself?"

    "Yes."

    Villanelle's head shoots up. It wasn't the answer she was expecting. She was expecting it to make Eve feel bad-manipulate her into forgiving her. Villanelle stands up and walks towards the exit. When she gets beside Eve she leans down and whispers, "Okay, but you're going to watch." Then Villanelle pushes junk off Eve's old desk and sits crossed leg on the desk, staring at the 30 year old woman with a look she used to give Eve. Lust, hunger, _obsession_. Those three were still in Villanelle's eyes when she looked at Eve, but they morphed into something else. Something that makes Eve's skin crawl and her chest ache because Eve knows she looks at Villanelle the same way, even after everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyeeeee, Poll time! Do you think Eve or Villanelle is being more of an asshole in this story? I definitely know who I'm writing to be the bigger asshole but I don't know if that's actually coming across. Also, do y'all like that I do a pair of lyrics for each pair of chapters that go with a certain episode, or do you even notice? Just some things I'm wondering. Thank yall for reading!!!!!


	8. That I'll kill myself right here, right now

Eve carries the bag of luggage wrapped in a trash bag into a cafe to meet with Elena and Kenny. They’ve already ordered a coffee for her and wait for her to begin talking.

“There’s a perfume called La Villanelle in the bag, and about five grand worth of clothes.”

“What type of clothes?” Elena asks.

“Expensive clothes.  _ Amazing  _ clothes, all my size.”

“Jesus Christ,” she whispers and goes to open the bag.

Eve stops her. “Don’t open it. We don’t want any further contamination.”

“It’s not good that she knows where you live,” Kenny finally speaks up.

Little does he know, Eve told Villanelle where she lived days before Villanelle stole the bag. “Yeah, well,” she needs to make an excuse, “don’t write your address on a suitcase a psychopathic assassin steals.” God, that was a shit excuse. She rolls her eyes at herself and turns to Elena. “I want you to get the whole thing fast tracked through forensics. Run any DNA with any of the past crimes scenes.” Then she goes back to Kenny. “Can you call and get the CCTV from Weberweise Station?”

“I mean I should be able to but are we still going through with this?” He repeats Elena’s question from after Bill’s funeral.

“Yes, we are going to keep going. I want her to be caught as soon as possible.”

“Eve, don’t you think you should take some time? Maybe, not go to the office yet?” Elena reenters herself into the conversation.

Eve stares through her with a blank emotionless gaze. “We’re going. Also,” she stands up, “We’re calling this asshole, Villanelle for now on. I’ll look into the perfume while you guys do your work.”

“Before that though, I really need to show you something.”

* * *

 

Nadia is angry at Villanelle. Understandable. Villanelle lied to her about being her soulmate when Nadia said she thought she recognized her from a dream. It let Villanelle find out about Konstantin and get out of that hell hole of a prison. Nadia wasn’t even made for this type of work. Too low-functioning of a psychopath. Couldn’t control her anger. 

When she goes to hit Villanelle, she predicts it and grabs Nadia wrist. She pauses a moment, thinking about the best way to handle this situation. “I’m glad you got out.”

“You took my place!”

“We’re both here now,” Villanelle points out. It does the trick because Nadia’s fist loosen and she looks down at Villanelle’s lips for a moment. Diego whistles and it makes Villanelle back away. She nods once before turning and walking towards rat man’s house, Nadia following behind her.

Villanelle rings the doorbell once and makes sure her surpressor is tight on her pistol. It presses against her backside. The door opens and a little old lady appears.

“Good afternoon,” Villanelle says with a soft english accent, “Sorry to ambush you like this but we were stopping by to see Frank. Is he in?

“No, he’s gone out,” the woman says and eyes the two girls suspiciously. Then she turns to look back in the house and Villanelle takes the chance to put her gun away.

“Oh?”

“I’m his mother. Are you- who are you?”

“I’m Natalie,” then Villanelle gestures to Nadia, “this is Fanny. We work with Frank. A few of us are in the area. He gave us this address. I’m sorry.”

“We just wanted to drop up.” Of course Nadia hasn’t perfected her English. This is why Konstantin chose Villanelle instead of her. Villanelle is far more intelligent. She resists the urge to roll her eyes at Nadia.

“Drop in,” she corrects. “We just wanted to say hi and offer our condolences, we heard he lost a friend recently”

Frank’s mother tilts her head. “Okay, come in. I have some fruitcake in the freezer.”

“Oh, lovely!”

* * *

 

"Did you see America is illegalizing sleeping medication of any form?" Elena makes small talk as they drive towards Frank's home.

Eve welcomes it. "No, is it because of the dreamers?"

"Of course it's because of them. But they're using a general excuse that people who don't need sleep medication are abusing it and it's causing issues in work forces."

"Aren't they trying to illegalize caffeine in any form too?"

"They were but they realized that's just impossible and dropped it. There was a person a few doors down from mine, died of a combination of caffeine overdose and sleep withdrawal because they were avoiding the person in their dreams." Elena taps on the steering wheel. "Do you ever wish you got them?"

"The dreams?"

"Yeah?"

Eve laughs. "Oh god no. What if you were stuck with someone asshole that apparently you're just supposed to be with?" Or an assassin who killed your best friend and thought she was doing a favor. "Do you?"

"Yeah, I mean I assume I'm not getting them anymore being 29 and never once having one but it would be romantic wouldn't it? Having someone who is never going to judge you and always love you? Someone that just gets to walk around in your mind and love you for you?"

"I never took you for such a romantic," Eve says. 

Elena smiles. "Well we all can't be attracted to psychopathic assassins-psychopathic  _ female _ assassins." And there's her bite again.

"Oh, piss off," but Eve doesn't deny it.

* * *

 

Nadia swears she saw Oksana in one dream while they were in prison. It wasn't her, but Villanelle has been using it to her advantage ever since. When someone thinks you're soulmates they'll do anything for you. So Nadia kills Diego to protect Villanelle, because she still believes that maybe they are soulmates, which means either Nadia’s real soulmate died, or she simply just had a dream about Villanelle one time. 

"Oops," Villanelle whispers as she  _ accidentally _ runs over Nadia. Then the van engine starts churning and stalls. Instant karma apparently. She rolls her eyes and grabs her gun to follow rat boy on foot. 

Pretty pathetic that she can keep up to him walking, while he does a stumbling run. Why does fear make people so stupid? Eventually he picks up his pace enough that she has to make a brisk jog, which keeps her from shooting accurately. This job could have went so much better if she was alone. Just walk in, kill the old lady, walk upstairs kill Frank. But Nadia and Diego still played by rules.

Someone helps Frank over the fence. Villanelle shakes her head. So much death for one rat looking man. She makes her way over the top of the hill and looks to see who is-

Eve. Eve is sitting in the driver's seat car. Villanelle fires off one shot and the car takes off. She’s not losing her, not this time, so she takes off in a sprint behind the car. Multiple gunshots ring out because if she can just hit one fucking tire.

The car stops. Villanelle slows down to a meander. For some time nothing happens except her heart echoing in her ears and muffled screaming from the car. Then the door opens. Villanelle stops. Her Eve climbs out of the driver’s seat and she tightens her left hand around the gun. Eve raises her hand and waves to Villanelle. She’s slow to lower it and slower to walk toward Villanelle, who’s shoulders have tensed. When Eve’s walked a meter, she realizes this is real. Eve’s so goddamn beautiful and this is real. Then Eve walks another meter, then two, and Villanelle’s swallowing down the anxiety in her throat. Eve’s too close, so she aims her gun at her. 

She should kill her. Eve is making her weak. Eve will  _ never _ love her. But there’s tears in Eve’s eye and she waves again with her right hand and places her left over her heart and it makes Villanelle falter. Was she trying to say it’s okay? That she still loves Villanelle? Her hand shakes and she remembers what Eve said she wanted last night. She bends her elbow and takes the end of the gun away from Eve and presses it to the bottom of her chin. Villanelle would do anything Eve asks of her.

_ “Do you want me to kill myself?” _

__ _ “Yes.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got like 6 hours til my parents scream at my progress report and tell my how much of a fuck up I am y'all. Honestly panic has worn off and now I'm just like ready to get this day over with. If there isn't an update tonight that's why but if I don't update tonight I'll try to make it up tomorrow with three updates.


	9. People change, start falling in and out of pairs

“No!” Eve screams and jerks her arm up.

It makes Villanelle laugh. Of course Eve didn’t want her to actually kill herself. She just knew it would hurt Villanelle and of course Villanelle wouldn’t actually kill herself, she just wanted Eve to admit to her lie. Eve tilts her head and looks surprised at Villanelle realizing how she’s been played. It’s their first time face to face, so Villanelle kisses the end of the gun before a single gunshot rings out and Villanelle is making her escape.

* * *

 

Of course someone as gross as Frank would love brown sauce. Eve and Elena watch in disgust as he pours more all over his plate. Elena makes a joke about it but Eve too busy thinking about Villanelle.

"Oksana."

Eve jumps as Frank slams his plate back down. "Excuse me?"

"One of the girls was called Oksana."

"Oxana?"

"Ahk sauna," Frank corrects. "O-k-s."

Eve nods and turns to Elena. "Will you get him in the car? I'm going to call Kenny, tell him to look up any Russian prison records with the name Oksana."

"How do you know she's Russian?" Elena asks.

"I… um… Frank she was Russian right?"

"Sounded like it, now can we get me to a safe house."

Eve walks away and let's Elena handle it. She calls Kenny and explains that he needs to look up Oksanas in Russian prison records. He lets her know that the suitcase came back. Villanelle's DNA was all over it, which means she knows she's untraceable or she's just arrogant. Eve had a feeling it was both. As soon as she hangs up Elena starts charging her from the car.

" _ Eve _ , tell me what's going on."

"What?" Eve runs a hand through her hair. "Nothing's going on."

"You knew she was Russian. I've been with you the entire time today. Frank hadn't mentioned it, and she didn't speak to you when you stopped the damn car. Which! Why the hell did you stop the car? Why didn't she just kill us? Honestly, why was she so excited to see you?"

"Elena-"

"Eve I want the truth. I know I haven't known you as long as Bill did but I think I'm pretty understanding."

Eve shoves her face in her hands. Could this day get worse? Can she trust Elena? Elena didn’t seem like the type to be back stabbing but she also seemed like she would do anything to get on Carolyn’s good side. But not everyone is like Villanelle. Not everyone can betray someone with no remorse. 

Luckily, Frank honks the car horn. “Priority,” he says and points at himself. And for once in her life, Eve loves Frank. 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow. I promise,” Eve says and walks away from Elena before she can respond.

* * *

 

After dropping Frank off at the safehouse, talking to Carolyn a bit, and an awkward phone call with Niko about him stopping by to pick up some more stuff, Eve makes it back to the office. Kenny’s waiting for her outside the door. 

“So there’s something I want to show you,” he says and opens the door for her.

She walks in behind him and stops when she sees the baby blanket on Bill’s desk.

“I think it’s his baby’s blanket thing. It was under his desk, and I didn’t know what to do with it so I just… folded it.”

“I’ll take it back to his family.”

“You should talk to him.”

“What?”

“Even though he’s gone, we should still talk out loud to him. It helps.”

_ Oh, right _ , Eve thinks about Carolyn’s conversation with her about Kenny’s dad. “Kenny, I-”

“I found multiple Oksanas in the prison records but there’s one I really want to show you.”

“Great.” Eve walks around to him and it’s not a prison record on his computer. It’s an email to Elena about keeping things professional. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry… I”

“It’s fine. Here’s the file.” He clicks a few times on the computer until it comes up.

“Holy shit,” Eve says. It’s her alright. The dead gaze, dark brown hair, bruised up face. Eve remembers those bruises. Although Villanelle doesn’t look as proud of them in this picture as she did when Eve caressed them.

“Oksana Astankova. Matches the person in the CCTV perfectly. Except-”

“What?”

“She died in prison four years ago.”

“Why was she there?”

“She killed a guy and did some pretty weird things to him.”

“Like what?”

“Oh! Um… how would Elena describe it… she chopped his knob off.”

* * *

 

Four and a half years ago

Villanelle was being shoved into the hole once again. Apparently beating the shit out of another inmate would do that. She offered to fuck the guard bringing her down here but he refused. The hole wasn’t completely terrible. It would probably be worse if she was still having dreams with Anna, but alas they stopped the day she killed Maxi. She wondered if Anna killed herself or if it was Anna’s betrayal that severed their connection. 

She gave up about a month ago on writing Anna letters to find out. There was no purpose. Anna wouldn’t respond even if she was alive. Villanelle kicks the single cot in the small cell. There’s a large blood stain on it and she really doesn’t feel like catching anything so she chooses to lay down on the floor. She twiddles her thumbs and puts her legs straight up against the wall and thinks about the other reason she gave up on Anna. The woman with hair more wild than Anna’s. Personality more wild. Villanelle didn’t want to screw this up so she told her that they should let things happen naturally, not tell each other their names. Mostly because Villanelle didn’t want Love to look her up and see why she was in prison and how she wouldn’t be out for another 22 years. Villanelle wonders if she’s asleep right now. With nothing else to do she forces herself asleep to find out.

 

“ _ Wow _ , Love, this is fancy,” Villanelle says and means it. She’s never been in an actual restaurant before. She feels highly underdressed in her tattered jeans and old, oversized jacket that was her dad’s. The shirt under it isn’t much better. Just a cheap grey v neck. 

Love looks up from the table and her eyes widen when she sees Villanelle’s face. “What happened?”

Villanelle draws on a cheeky grin and looks down at her scuffed boots. She shurgs and tucks her hands into her jacket. The chair squeaks on the expensive hardwood floors and a few seconds later there’s hand on her cheek.

“Look at me,” Love says gentle.

Villanelle complies and is met with Love’s soft loving gaze. “Nothing happened.”

Love shakes her head and pulls Villanelle’s down so their foreheads touch. “Just be more careful for me. Please.”

“Of course. I’m always careful.”

“Uh huh, looks like it.”

Villanelle finally leans away and takes her time checking Love out. God, this little black and white dress she had on hugged every curve of her body. She made herself a promise to buy Love a dress that looks just like this once they meet in real life.

* * *

 

Present Day

 

Eve tries the perfume. She had over an hour before Niko would be over so why not? The smell of the perfume is heavenly. The right mix of masculinity and femininity that made her think of Villanelle all the way down to her core. Was this what she smelled like all the time? In their dreams she couldn’t smell so she made the assumption that Villanelle would smell of pine or a forest. Something Russian. But this wasn’t that at all.

Her eyes land on the dress. Probably two grand or more itself. Now, that the suitcase was given back to her, technically all the contents are hers. Technically this black and white dress is her. So it would be a shame to not try it on. That’s how Eve convinces herself to put it on. Not because Villanelle bought it for her, but because it would be a shame to not wear something that expensive. 

And she looks absolutely stunning in it. Jesus. She runs her hands over the parts of her body Villanelle would. Her sides, her ass, her-

The door opens downstairs. “Niko?” Eve calls out and makes her way downstairs. It was still pretty early for him to be here. Pretty early and a mood killer. Except it isn’t Niko.

“Don’t run,” Villanelle pleads from the entryway of Eve’s home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... in this I'm definitely trying to write it with Eve actively choosing to be a dick to Villanelle and Villanelle being an asshole but not trying to be. Also would y'all kill me if I made you wait another chapter for shepherds pie? Just a chapter between this one and the next of a progression of Villanelle's and Eve's dreams together. I'm going to write it either way because I kinda want to get more of a feel with how they act around one another before I have them actually talk to see how they should interact because obviously there's going to be more to it than in the show because they've been together in dreams for five years now ... so yeah do y'all want me to publish that chapter or just leave it for myself?


	10. But for now it all just really hurts

The First Dream- Five years ago

 

Eve wasn't expecting to have a dream in the middle of the winter woods. She also wasn’t expecting to be watching a naked young woman walking into a half frozen lake. But here she is. The woman’s about knee deep in the water and her back is to Eve which Eve is thankful for. Blonde hair cascades down her narrow back littered with freckles and white scars. Her ribs protrude and she’s way too thin to be healthy. The woman hasn’t noticed Eve yet. She keeps walking until she’s waist deep and pauses. It’s a dream so she’s not worried about the woman getting hypothermia but she is worried, because the woman bends over and lets out a primal scream that rips Eve apart.

Eve takes off in a dead sprint and wraps her arms around the woman’s midsection without hesitation. Her black pants get soaked in the lake and the woman thrashes her arms to hit Eve.

“Let me go!” She screams with a thick Russian accent. “Don’t fucking touch me!” She twists violently in Eve’s arms and shoves Eve down in the water. Her eyes connect with Eve’s for a second before she grabs her head and doubles over. “No, no, no.” She begs.

Confusion strikes Eve. Then realization washes over. This isn’t simply a bad dream. No, this was her ‘soulmate’ in front of her. Eve pushed herself up and holds her hands up. “Hey, hey, I’m not going to-”

“I fucking hate you! I don’t give a fuck who you are!”

 

Eve wakes up in a cold sweat next to her husband, Niko. He is still asleep perfectly fine. Her heart pounds against her skull and her life crashes down on her chest making it hard to breathe. 38 is a little early for a mid life crisis isn’t it? Especially when that mid life crisis is Russian and probably half her age. She doesn’t fall back to sleep that night, instead her heart keeps quicken as she thinks about everything wrong with this. Government jobs required for you to not be a dreamer, she’d be fired if she got caught. Her marriage with Niko isn’t the best she could do. Her ‘soulmate’ hates her guts for absolutely no reason.

* * *

 

The Second Dream- Five years ago

 

Oksana had already been around the block when it came to this sort of thing. She had dreams when she was sixteen with Anna Leonova, until Anna called the police on her when she was eighteen. Oksana hadn’t had a dream with her since. She wrote to Anna everyday for three years trying to find out if Anna was still alive. She figured Anna was. There was something off about the whole situation. She never felt that chest breaking love all the other dreamers talked about. Although, Oksana never felt much to start off with. She did feel, but it was muffled. Like when someone has ear muffs on and they can hear someone talking but they can’t quite make out what they’re saying. Oksana knows she should be feeling something and what she should be feeling, but it never quite clicks.

Except now. She stares at the new woman across the empty room and a form of guilt pangs in her chest from how she acted a few weeks ago. The woman raises a hand and waves at Oksana. She’s quite beautiful, wild black hair, slender neck, she’s not very tall. Her clothes are neutral colors and a little too big for her, but it’s cute. 

Oksana raises her own hand and waves back.

“Is it okay if I come closer?” The woman asks. 

_ An American? _ It catches Oksana off guard for a moment. “Yeah.”

The woman slowly walks closer and watches Oksana carefully for any sign to stop. “I’m-”

“No, don’t tell me who you are,” Oksana orders.

“What? Isn’t that kinda-”

“I want whatever that’s going to happen between us to happen however it would happen if we didn’t have these dreams,” Oksana explains. It’s a pretty good excuse to make up on the fly. She mentally pats herself on the back. Truth was, she didn’t want the other woman to look her up and see who she was.

The woman reaches Oksana and stops in front of her. “So what are we supposed to call each other then?”

Oksana thinks about the poems she read about recently in the prison library. Poems that are typically written about obsession. She holds a hand out. “I’m Villanelle.”

The woman takes her hand. “I’m… shit, I don’t have a cool nickname.”

“I’m going to call you Love.” Villanelle smiles to herself because it’s kind of a joke, she won’t ever actually love this woman. She wasn’t able to.

“That’s… no.” Love drops Villanelle’s hand.

Villanelle nods. “Yep,”  she pops the p. “I like it. So tell me about yourself, Love.”

They sit across from each other with their legs crisscrossed and talk about themselves. Villanelle gives up that she is very single and enjoys sleeping with girls. Love gives up that she’s married and been married for 11 years now. Villanelle comments that that is a long time to be committed to one person. Also comments that she was only ten years old when Love got married which gets her a joking shove and a small, “shut up.” The pair talk and it’s the most comfortable either of them have been in years.

Villanelle wakes up first due to the time difference. For once, she doesn’t wake up angry about life. Instead there’s a big grin on her face and she shoves a hand down the front of prison issued pants.

* * *

 

The Seventh Dream- 4 and a half years ago

 

“So,  _ Love _ , it’s been nearly six months of these and this is technically like our seventh date,” Villanelle says and falls to the side on the couch so her head lands in Love’s lap.

Immediately Love’s hands scratch at Villanelle’s scalp. Villanelle closes her eyes and forgets what she was going to say so Love has to remind her she was talking. “So what’s this  about it being our seventh date?”

Villanelle’s eyes fly back open. “Oh yeah.” She reaches up and cusps Love’s face. “We haven’t even kissed yet.”

“No, we haven’t.”

She sits up and readjusts so her legs are in Love’s lap instead. Villanelle leans forward and brushes hair out of Love’s face. “Can I kiss you?”

Love closes the space and presses her lips to Villanelle’s. The kiss doesn’t last very long because Villanelle can’t help grinning. She wants to get up and shout and dance and celebrate. She’s feeling so much right now. So much fucking happiness. Instead of jumping up and down and cheering, she straddles Love and rests her arms around Love’s neck. “A little excited there?” Love laughs and smiles at Villanelle’s happiness.

Villanelle kisses Love again. “I’m so fucking excited,” she mumbles against Love’s lips. Then Love bites Villanelle’s lip and slides her tongue across it to sooth it, making Villanelle’s hips grind down on her. Villanelle takes control and presses her tongue roughly into Love’s mouth. Love brings her hands up and grabs Villanelle’s ass through her jeans. 

Villanelle gasps and Love takes the chance to pull away and kiss down Villanelle’s jaw. She slides her kisses down to above Villanelle’s jugular and draws out a moan. Then Villanelle is jumping off Love. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No," Villanelle says then gestures to her pants. "I'm getting naked. You should do the same." Then as an afterthought, "if you want to." 

    Love nods and stands up. She takes off her shirt while Villanelle takes off her pants. Villanelle pauses to kiss Love again. Then she lowers her kisses until she's swirling her tongue around Love's nipple, rolling the other in her hand. "Fuck," Love moans and pushes Villanelle away. "Get undressed."

Villanelle rolls her eyes but compiles, taking her panties off and flinging them away with her foot. She watches as Love takes off her own pants leaving her only in bland black panties. Love waits for Villanelle to take her grey jumper off before lowering her panties and kicking them away too. They rake their eyes over each other and Love places her hands on Villanelle's waist then spins them around. With a gentle push Villanelle falls on the couch and watches Love settle between her legs. Just the sight alone makes her throb with need. 

Love presses gentle kisses the inside of Villanelle's thighs, just above her knees, and as she kisses up they get a bit rougher until right before Villanelle's core she's biting at her thigh. "Please, fuck, just, please." Villanelle is begging and she doesn’t care because she’s so turned on.

"Really? You can wait six months for me to kiss you but you can't wait six minutes for me to fuck you?" Love says with a teasing voice. Then she slides her fingers over Villanelle's soaking wet center and let's out her own groan as Villanelle head presses back into the couch and one of her hands find Love's hair. "You're so wet. Is this all for me?"

Villanelle doesn't open her eyes but she nods and prays Love sees. "Hey," she feels a bite on the inside of her thigh again. "Look at me." So Villanelle forces her eyes open and watches Love suck her clit into her mouth. 

"Oh my-" Villanelle brings her free hand up and squeezes at her breast. She rolls her nipple between her thumb and index finger. Her hips grind against Love's face and she can't find herself to care about how desperate she sounds or looks. This goes on for a few minutes until Villanelle's grinding becomes a little more frantic and her moans become a little bit higher pitched. Love brings her fingers up to under her chin and slides two into Villanelle, who clamps down on the fingers instantly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Love don't stop. Ohmygod. Please don't stop."

Villanelle digs her hands tighter into Love’s hair just trying to ground herself as more pressure builds up in her stomach as if she’s on the edge of a cliff. She’s so close, just needing a little bit more, and as if Love can hear her thoughts another finger slides into her. It’s the final push Villanelle needs as her thighs tremble and her back arches off the couch.

Everything comes crashing down on Villanelle as she comes. Her eyes clamp shut and her head tilts back into the couch. Moans echo in the room as intense pleasure washes over in waves. Her hips grind against Love’s mouth and hand as she guides her through her orgasm. 

Eventually her body relaxes and Love moves away from her and straddles Villanelle. They sit their for a moment, Love waiting for Villanelle’s breathing to calm down. Villanelle still has her eyes squeezed shut but she moves her hands to rest on Love’s bare hips.

“You still alive?” Love whispers next to Villanelle’s ear.

Without opening her eyes, Villanelle shakes her head and hears Love laugh.

* * *

 

The 17th dream - Three years ago

 

Eve is surprised when Villanelle appears in the dream wearing a bright pink suit. The pink glows against the somber empty city around them. It's the first time Villanelle has ever worn anything so expensive. There's a smug smile on her face even if her face is full of bruises. "Hi, Love."

"Hey…" Eve tugs on the lapels of the suit. "This is new."

"I was taken shopping today. It's Versace. Did you know he was murdered?"

"Yeah, it was all anyone would talk about for a long time."

Villanelle nods and turns to start walking away from Eve. She stops and looks back to hold her hand out to Eve. Eve catches up and intertwines their fingers. "How are things?" Villanelle asks it's been almost two months since the last time they've seen each other.

"About the same as always."

"Doesn't that get boring?"

"Not if you enjoy what you're doing."

Villanelle seems to consider it a moment before shaking her head. "I would still get bored. There needs to be change. Try new things."

"Okay, Miss I hate monotony, how are things with you?" 

"Fantastic! I just finished… an exercise program and I'm starting a new job soon."

"No offense, but getting your ass kicked isn't an exercise program." Eve looks Villanelle up and down and Villanelle does look healthier and more fit. She's not the underweight, fragile woman from two years ago.

Villanelle laughs. "Oh trust me. This has nothing on what the other person looks like." Then she stops and forces Eve to stop too. 

Eve watches Villanelle face flip through a variety of emotions and wonders what is going on in Villanelle's head. There's a look in her eyes that somewhat terrifies Eve, but excites her at the same time. Eve wants to find Villanelle so bad so she can know what that look is.

"I missed you," Villanelle whispers and cusps Eve's face. "I was worried that something had happened."

"I think I'm the one that needs to worry about you."

Villanelle shakes her head. "I can take care of myself."

"And you don't think I can take care of myself?" Eve asks and it comes out a bit annoyed. Eve did just fine for 38 years without Villanelle. The last two years didn't just change that.

"Not if you needed to protect yourself."

Protect herself? From what? "What?"

Instead of answering, the seriousness wipes off Villanelle's face and she hooks her elbow around Eve's elbow. "When I wake up I think I'm going to spend the day touching myself while thinking about you."

Eve groans and shakes her head. "Don't you have a new job?"

"Yes, but I also get a lot of free time with this job. I could go out and find a girl or two and pretend they're you."

Eve's heart twangs with jealousy. Which really isn't fair because Eve is married and not doing anything about it, so it's only fair Villanelle gets to go out and have meaningless sex. But still. "You know you could just tell me where to find you."

"Would you leave your husband and come find me by this evening?" Villanelle unhooks from Eve.

Eve doesn't respond. She couldn't just leave on the spur. She would have work and Niko doesn't even get home from school till around 4 and that conversation would last a few hours.

"Exactly, Love." Villanelle rolls her eyes and Eve can see her swallow down anger. "I'm going to keep walking in that direction. Please just leave me alone." Then she walks away from Eve and Eve regrets not saying anything. Eve watches as Villanelle pauses in front of a store window and rubs her eyes. Glass shatters when Villanelle lifts her hand and punches her reflection. She doesn’t look at Eve before continuing to walk away.

* * *

 

The 18th dream - Two years ago.

 

It’s been a year since Villanelle has seen Love. Her dreams have been either isolation in a tight cell, or isolation in front of the lake near her child hood home. The lake is where she finds herself now. Villanelle thinks about her first dream with Love, and how Villanelle was screaming until her throat was still raw when she woke up. She didn’t even know she wasn’t alone at first. Was just screaming to let out some sort of emotion that was building inside of her. Then Love’s arms wrapped around her waist and Villanelle was beyond angry because it wasn’t Anna. 

She assumes Love is alive, because Anna was still alive. Villanelle had made sure of it when Konstantin got her out of prison. He went and told Anna that Oksana Astankova killed herself in prison. Villanelle sewed a passport and money into a Burberry trench coat and left it in front of Anna’s door for two reasons. One, Anna would know Oksana was still alive and they weren’t soulmates anymore. Two, so if Konstantin ever turned on her she would have an escape.

She assumes what happened with Anna happened with Love. Villanelle didn’t get what she wanted so her brain severed the connection. Only this time it hurt. Ever since last year in her waking and sleeping life, there was an emptiness. Villanelle bends over and picks up some stones to skip across the lake. The first two are skips but by the third and forth she’s just chucking them into the stupid lake.

“You really hate this lake don’t you?” says an American voice behind her.

Villanelle drops the new rocks she was picking up and jerks around. Love stands about four meters away up on the dirt path around the lake. Tears run down her face even though there is a shy grin. She waves a nervous hand. Emotion washes over Villanelle and instead of replying she takes off in a sprint and picks Love up in a hug.

“I’m so sorry,” she repeats it over and over again feelings so much and like it was her fault it’s been so long since they’ve seen each other. She’s soaking Love’s sweater with her tears.

“Hey,” Love pushes away from Villanelle and looks her in the eye. “I’m so happy you’re okay. I thought-”

The emotions click in Villanelle’s brain and she interrupts. “I love you.”

“What?”

“I love you so fucking much,” Villanelle says and smiles.

Love nods. “I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being a lot longer than I meant. Also have never written smut before and didn't really plan to but these two are just too horny. So if that part sucks I'm sorry.


	11. And I need you to hold my hand

    The floorboards above Villanelle creak and Eve calls out, "Niko?" so Villanelle freezes. In all honesty what was she supposed to do? _Hey, Eve! I'm here! We can have outrageous amounts of sex now!_ Although she does consider it, because it would lighten the mood. Instead she watches Eve walk down the stairs and glance into the kitchen before seeing Villanelle in her entryway. Panic flashes in her eyes.

    "Don't run," Villanelle orders and watches Eve take off running upstairs. She rolls her eyes but follows. Eve was lucky it was Villanelle and not an assassin that wants to kill her, because running upstairs was so stupid.

    The bathroom door slams in Villanelle's face. Apparently Eve didn't want to see her. She knocks gently on the door. "Eve will you please open the door."

    "No!"

    "Please, Eve. I'm not going to hurt you."

    "Then get out of my house!" Then there's frantic mumbling.

    Villanelle rolls her eyes and steps back before kicking down the door. "Hell-" Eve thrusts a toilet brush in Villanelle's face, "-oh." She tilts her head. A toilet brush? Out of all things. Eve could have grabbed a bottle of shampoo and chucked it at Villanelle's head. She grabs it and tosses it to the side before leaving the bathroom. "Come on Eve. I want to have dinner with you." She throws Eve a glance and waits.

    Eve nods and Villanelle notices her shoulders shaking. 

    She slips off her jacket and hands it to Eve. "Here, you look cold." Then she drags her eyes over Eve. "That dress looks _really_ good on you." She doesn't wait to hear Eve and walks downstairs.

    Once they're both downstairs Villanelle plops herself down at the kitchen table while Eve stands awkwardly by the fridge. "I feel underdressed," Villanelle says and laughs. "You know I sent _that_ dress because in one of our dreams you wore a dress just like it and I promised myself I would buy you one. In that dream I was underdressed too."

    Eve nods and pulls Villanelle's jacket on a little tighter trying to stop her shaking. "You...uh… look nice."

    "Thank you, Eve!" Villanelle flashes a smile. "So what's for dinner?"

    "I don't know. Niko moved out and I don't really cook, so-"

    "Niko moved out? Why?" Villanelle stands up and walks over to Eve. "Excuse me." She scans Eve fridge while Eve talks.

    "Things weren't… well between us. He started to resent that I spent most nights sleeping on the couch this last year because…"

    Villanelle pops her head out of the fridge. "Of the sex?"

    "Yeah that… what are you doing?" Eve asks when Villanelle pulls out a bunch of random groceries.

    "I'm going to cook dinner? You need to eat some real food."

    "Niko's going to be here in an hour."

    "I thought you said he moved out?"

    "He did. He just wanted to come by a pick some more stuff up."

    Villanelle places a bag of tomatoes that Niko bought before Berlin on the counter. Then she makes her way over to Eve's purse and pulls out Eve's phone. "What's your password?"

    "I'm not telling you that."

    So she guesses. 1234. First try. Villanelle raises an eyebrow and looks at Eve. "Nice password." She then goes back to the screen and dials Niko, handing Eve the phone. "Tell him something's come up."

    "Hi, Niko… yeah, I'm fine...oh…I was just calling to let you know that I need you to come over tomorrow morning instead… you can't come over tonight, I have a colleague from work over… no, I'm not on a date!... Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow Niko." When Eve hangs up Villanelle swipes the phone away and slips it into her pocket. 

    "So Eve, I'm going to need a couple pots, your blender and some seasoning. Oh! And where do you keep your dried pasta?" 

    Eve gestures vaguely to the open shelves on the wall. "That's about everything."

    Villanelle nods and starts collecting items, placing them on the island. She starts a pot of water on the stove and then finishes collecting ingredients. Dried spaghetti noodles, basil, oregano, garlic, an onion, olive oil, and brown sugar. Then she finds a knife to cut the onion and another to peel the tomatoes when they are ready. Eve takes a seat at the kitchen table and rests her head in her hands. "Do you like spaghetti Eve?"

    "What?" 

    "Spaghetti? I thought it would be quick and easy. I know how to make my own noodles but I have to be somewhere else tonight."

* * *

 

****

    And after about a half hour, a bowl of spaghetti is being sat in front Eve. She had her head resting down on hers not quite crying but right on the edge. Eve jumps from the nearness of Villanelle.

    “Did I wake you?” Villanelle asks while sliding into a seat beside Eve.

    “No, no. I was just thinking.”

    Villanelle nods. There was a lot to think about. She sits the knife she found by the front door down in front of Eve. “If this will make you feel better I will let you have it.”

    “Thanks,” Eve responds dryly. 

    “It’s so nice to finally meet you Eve.”

    “You too, but why are you here now?”

    Villanelle’s head bobbles as she thinks. “Have you tried the spaghetti yet?”

    “No.”

    “Try it. I spent time on it Eve!”

    Eve rolls her eyes and takes a bite and god dammit. Of course it tasted good.

    “Taste good right?”

    “Yeah.”

    “No thank you?”

    “Why are you here? Why now?”

    “I wanted to see you.” She reaches forward and grabs free hand. “I thought you wanted to see me too.”

    “That was before you killed Bill.”

    “You still love me.”

    “No, I don’t, Oksana.”

    Villanelle takes her elbows off the table and leans back. She’s not quite sure whether to be angry, impressed, or turned on, so she decides all three. “ _Wow_ , you are so pleased with yourself.”

    “Oksana, I know more about you too.”

    “Hmm?”

    Eve then begins. “I know you were born in Russia and your dad was a soldier. I know you’re mom died of lung cancer when you were thirteen. I know you didn’t let that stop you and you are exceptionally bright. Determined. Hard-working.”

    This perks Villanelle up. She loves praise. “What else?”

    “I know you’re an extraordinary person.”

    “What else?”

    “I know your dad abused you and that’s why you had him send you to boarding school after your mom passed.”

    Villanelle bites her bottom lip and smiles. “What else?”

    “I know you castrated a woman’s husband.”

    Her jaw tenses and she crosses her arm.

    “It was your French teacher’s husband wasn’t it? That’s why you said she choose her husband over you. Because you-”

    “Stop,” Villanelle spits between her teeth. 

    “You two were soulmates weren’t you! You thought even after you killed her husband she’d still love a monster-”

    Villanelle slams her hand down against the table. “I said stop, Eve!”

    The knife rattles back and forth from the vibration of Villanelle’s fist. Eve eyes it.

    “Don’t do that.”

    Eve moves for knife and Villanelle intercepts her wrist.

    “Don’t. Do. That.”

    With not much success Eve tries to push forward and Villanelle takes the knife and shoves Eve against the fridge. The tip of the knife presses against base of Eve’s neck. “I really like you, Eve. I do.” Then she considers her situation for a moment. “It’s worse when I push it in slowly. You’ll feel every millimeter and beg for me to get it over with.” Villanelle leans in by Eve’s ear, smiling when Eve automatically gives her neck up. “I enjoy when you beg,” she smells the perfume she bought for Eve. “Are you wearing it?”

    “Yes.”

    A small huff of laughter escapes Villanelle’s lips and she presses a single kiss to below Eve’s ear. “I knew you still love me.” Then she pulls away and backs up. “Sorry to leave you with such a mess, but I have some business to take care of. There’s enough spaghetti for a few days and then I’ll make another meal. I’m thinking a stew and I’ll let you know the ingredients you need to pick up for me in the next dream, _Love_. Thank you so much for this,” Villanelle says and then holds up Eve’s cell phone. 

* * *

 

 

    Frank screams for help as Villanelle pops up behind him. She smiles, because her efforts are appreciated. She waited for a flash of lightning and everything.

    “Squealer,” she says and points at him with Eve’s knife. It’s a dull knife which will make this more fun.

    “I’m not- I- I didn’t tell them everything.”

    “But you told them something.”

    “Are you going to kill me?”

    Villanelle nods. “But first, I’m going to use you for sex.”

    Frank’s beady rat eyes widen.

    “It’s just a joke. I wouldn’t actually fuck you.”

    “Please, don’t kill me. Please! We can do a deal.”

    Villanelle leans back and regrets not taking her jacket back from Eve. She’s a bit cold and wants to get this over with so she can grab the jacket off the security guard, but she’ll let Frank entertain her for a little bit.

    “I have a lot of money.”

    “So do I.”

    “I have children.”

    What? She’s not a pedophile. “I don’t want your children.”

    “No, I have children to take care of.”

    “Oh! This will just give them something to bond over. Are you scared, Frank?”

    “Yes.” Tears run down his face.

    “Because you don’t know what happens when you die?”

    He nods.

    “Any ideas? No, don’t bother to tell me. I’ll tell you what I see happen.” She leans forward and picks some garlic out from under her nails with the knife. “Your eyes will just empty. Then your soul goes in. People think your soul leaves the body when you die.” She points at Frank. “I swear it just goes further in. It falls so far in and just…” She pauses and there’s this unhinged, almost deranged look in her eyes, “just becomes so small that it can’t control your body anymore. It’s just in there, dying forever.” Villanelle swallows her own fear about losing control and smiles. She points at her head. “That’s why you have soulmates who go fucking crazy when their soulmate dies. They can still feel them but they just feel that searing pain of their counterpart being trapped forever.”

    Frank nods in agreement because Villanelle’s seen enough people die to know what happens. She stands up and gestures for him to stand up too

    “I’m going to kill you nicely since you listened to me. Then I will make a mess of your body so they think it was worse than what it actually was for you. Just so you know, okay?” She pulls the knife up to push into his jugular. It would leave a nice spray of red on the mirror.

    “No, wait, please, can we do it in the bedroom?”

    “I have a thing for bathrooms.” She looks around. “There’s so many places to hang body parts.”

    “Please?”

    “Okay,” she agrees. He was good and was quiet while she had her monthly existential crisis. She gestures for him to lead the way.

    When they reach the bed room, he darts for a chair and she grabs it before it makes contact with her skull. Villanelle yanks it out of her grip and places it behind her before slapping him. “Don’t get me excited,” she warns. He apologizes as she sits down in the chair. “Take off your clothes.”

    “What do you want from me?”

    “Your penis.” And this time Villanelle isn’t joking and pulls her pistol out to fire a single shot in the middle of Frank’s forehead because _BANG in the head._ **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They talked. *small clap* They gay. *small clap* I don't know if Eve loves Villanelle or not because Eve is such a hard character for me to understand. Like Villanelle is easy for me to understand and with Eve there's just this disconnect. So I'm sorry if Eve seems out of character in this because I struggle with understanding how she would deal with something.


	12. Ask me why my heart's inside my throat

Villanelle anxious. She did not like Russia and she did not like Nadia still being alive. She doesn't like how the sun rises and reflects off her childhood lake. Hates it even more when it's not a dream. In two hours she was due to meet Konstantin at a hotel and he is to take her back to the prison to kill Nadia. A quick in and out. Villanelle does not like that Eve wasn't in her dream while she flew to Russia. She was going to tell Eve where she is going to be. A smew swims in the lake unbothered by Villanelle. 

"Hey, asshole! I have anxiety here! Can you get out of the fucking lake!" Villanelle yells at the white and grey duck who remains unfazed. She picks up a rock and whips it at the duck, barely missing. It gets the point across, however. The duck takes off flying, but the moment has passed.

Villanelle tucks her hands into her pink coat and walks down the footpath into the woods. The path is covered in snow going up to her mid calves and bites on her skin. Konstantin will probably ask why her pants are soaked. Villanelle will say what are you talking about. There’s a fallen tree in the path proving her theory that noone still lived out here. Her dad was probably drunk and got mugged and murdered, now laying in a decomposed and rotting in a ditch somewhere. She jumps over the tree and goes back to thinking. Even if her dad was ‘ _ abusive’  _ like Eve wanted to say, it was still her dad. Villanelle thumbs a scar on the inside of her palm, a perfect white line from a blade of a knife. She tells herself that her dad was a good man when he wasn’t drunk. It was just there were few and far between when he wasn’t.

Like she predicted, the window by the door was still broke, and the door to the cabin wasn’t locked. Her eyebrows shoot up when she spots a skeleton lying on the floor. The skull is shattered and blood stains line the ceiling and walls. Her dad’s shotgun rests on the floor beside it. Instead of dealing with that situation she goes over to the small kitchen. Besides dust and small dead spiders, there’s a letter on the table. Villanelle picks up the letter and reads the russian writing. Just a quick letter explaining Oksana Astankova killed herself in prison. The handwriting is unmistakably Konstantin’s chicken scrawl and assumes her dad was drunk to believe this was something official. Villanelle folds the brittle paper and replaces it with her own letter sealed in the envelope. Written on it is  _ EVE POLASTRI _ .

* * *

 

 

“You’re late,” Kenny points out when Eve walks in to the office wearing a frown and Villanelle’s jacket. Not that anyone in the office would notice, and it was the first jacket she found this morning.  _ That was it, _ she told herself,  _ just the first jacket I found this morning _ . Elena’s not in the office, which maybe she would have recognized the jacket. Kenny notices Eve looking at Elena’s empty desk. “She was already here today, but left in an anger when we told her about Villanelle breaking in to your home and some other stuff. She said to tell you to meet with her before you go to Moscow.”

“I’m going to Moscow?” Eve looks at Carolyn who gives a curt nod.

“Russian Intelligence picked up a girl named Nadia Kadomtseva near Bletcham and flew her out of the country. They’re keeping her in a prison there. The same one your  _ friend _ Oksana was kept it,” Carolyn explains and slides a coffee towards Eve when she says the word friend. Eve’s heart picks up a small bit, but she accepts the coffee. She went to sleep as soon as forensics got out of her house and forgot to set alarm causing her to sleep till noon and waking in a terrible mood because Villanelle wasn’t in her dream.

“She’s not my  _ friend _ she broke into my house. Do you think Nadia could lead us to Villanelle?”

“We don’t need her to lead us to  _ Villanelle _ , we need her to lead us to the Twelve. Which is why we are going to Moscow. Kenny and Elena didn’t want to join so it will just be us. I have some strings I can give a tug to get us a meeting with Nadia.”

* * *

 

 

"Are you kidding me, Eve?" Is the first thing Elena says when Eve walks into the cafe.

Eve's hands immediately fly to the edges of Villanelle's jacket. She waits for Elena to clarify before apologizing for wearing it. "What?"

"She broke into your house? And then you slept there? Shagged her until you realized you were late for work?" 

"Elena!" Eve sits down and gives her an incredulous look. "Villanelle never even came back- I wouldn't shag- Elena for Christ's sake."

"I never said she came back to your house Eve."

"Excuse me?"

"You've been shagging the assassin in your dreams. And I'm not talking about simple wet dreams that happen every now and then. She's your damn soulmate, isn't she?" Elena's voice is a little too loud and it draws judgemental stares from the other patrons.

Eve looks down at her hands. She forgot her wedding ring this morning. Forgot Niko's ring but remembered Villanelle's jacket. "I didn't know it was her. I didn't-" her hands come up to catch her head as tears begin to spill over. "She never told me who she was. I didn't know until… until it was too late."

"That's how you knew she was Russian, though."

"It was just the accent."

"When did you realize she was our assassin?"

"I… Bill realized it and I doubted him."

"Then she killed him and you saw her do it?" Elena raises an eyebrow and takes a drink of her coffee. 

Eve nods.

"You could have told me. I wouldn't have told Carolyn."

"But now?"

"I still won't." Then Elena smiles. "I'm 'quite the romantic,' remember? So do you love her?"

"She killed Bill," Eve says to remind Elena or maybe herself.

"That's not an answer."

"I don't… I can't. I meant what I said at the funeral."

She wants to hurt Villanelle. Wrap her hands around Villanelle neck and squeeze. Fingernails digging into her wrists as Villanelle realizes this isn't a game and Eve just keeps squeezing. To feel Villanelle thrash under her and watch her turn into a feral monster as she tries to buck Eve off her. Eve wants nothing more than to see the look of acceptance in Villanelle's eyes as she realizes Eve is in control and Eve is going to kill her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is up late and short and I'm sorry but the next chapter should be a little bit longer but will also be late


	13. I've never been in love, I've been alone

“This is my good associate, Konstantin Vasiliev,” Vladimir introduce a bulky, aged man who sits down at the table near Carolyn. The trio make small talk and Eve sits off to the side, catching Konstantin’s eye every now and then. There’s a tension between him and Eve instantly and Eve doesn’t like it.

“Pardon my manners, but I don’t think you’ve introduced me to your friend Carolyn.”

“Oh, yeah,” she turns and places a warning hand on Eve’s back, “This is my colleague, Eve Polastri.”

“Eve Polastri,” Konstantin repeats then holds out a hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Eve takes his hand, “Yeah same.”

“So time for business?” Carolyn asks. “Why did you take Nadia Kadomtseva?”

“Who?” Vladimir asks.

“Alright.” Carolyn pulls out a file from her purse. “We know this woman has been working as a sleeper agent for Russian Intelligence in the UK.”

“She is more of a friend.”

“Oh? Well, now she's rather friendly with us. She told us she was helping Frank Haleton with safe passage here to you. Why did you want to talk to him?”

“He was relevant for a special investigation we had here.”

As Carolyn and Vladimir go back and forth about the organization ordering this assassinations. Konstantin watches Eve from over his glass. It made Eve tense, like the first time she sat across from Carolyn. A gaze that is hiding something. Carolyn mentions wanting to interview Nadia with Eve.

“And what is so special about Eve?” Konstantin speaks up, not looking away from Eve.

“Another female operative broke into my house.”

“What? Really? What did she want?”

“She uh… she made me dinner.”

Konstantin starts laughing. A bold, hearty laugh that reminds her of Villanelle. “Sorry.”

“I believe Nadia knows this other operative, Oksana.”

Konstantin immediately stops laughing.

Eve smiles and bites her own laugh. She understands the joy Villanelle receives of putting people on the spot because then their eyes can’t help but hide the truth. Konstantin’s eyes swim with confusion and fear.

* * *

****

Villanelle lays on the cot in her cell. She refused to use the blanket for no other reason than she didn’t want to. Her bandana is off but drapes over her face. Tomorrow she would kill Nadia and wait for Konstantin in the hole. The thought of the hole sent a bubbling fear in her upper abdomen. If she waits until dinner to kill Nadia she wouldn’t have to be in the hole very long. 

Eve was at the prison today. Was she looking for Villanelle? Or was she here because of Nadia? If she talked to Nadia, what did Nadia say? Was Villanelle too late to her job? Konstantin had been there too. He would have made sure Nadia didn’t talk. But why was Konstantin with Eve and that other woman? Does the twelve have their own mole?

The only way she was going to get an answer was to talk to Eve. So she sucks up her pride and uses the uncomfortable blanket. Her knees are drawn to her chest and she forces herself to sleep in a small fetal position.

* * *

****

Carolyn and Eve sit together at the bar sipping on gin and tonics. Eve’s thinking about Anna. Was that Villanelle’s french teacher? She could go see her and find out what started this madness of Villanelle killing people. See if her theory about them being soulmates was right. She didn’t even know if that was possible. Does that mean Villanelle still dreams with Anna too? Or did those dreams end and she was replaced by Eve?

“Say it,” Carolyn interrupts Eve’s internal monologue.

Eve makes something up on the fly, “I don’t like Vlad either.”

“Oh. No, he’s a good one.”

“Really? Then how can we convince him? I mean, he’s got to have something we can, you know, tug on, so to speak.”

“Leave him to me.” Carolyn then finishes her drink and looks at Eve. “Let me tell you about Vlad. In the ‘70s, a journalist called Mary Kenny was found tangled in the arms of a former cabinet member of the Ugandan government. The Private Eye printed it and the phrase “ _ Ugandan discussions _ ” quickly took on a more illicit meaning. Let’s just say that Vlad and I had one or two  _ Ugandan discussions _ ourselves. I spent the whole time thinking it was some sort of honey trap. He spent the whole time thinking the same. Which, if anything, just made the whole thing more thrilling.” Carolyn pauses to take in Eve’s shocked expression. “I know. We’re not the most obvious match. But the man is extraordinarily agile.”

“And now?” Eve asks.

“Well, I discovered a little sort of plutonium plot some years ago and the rumor mill thought he’d given me the information. He hadn’t, but I had to protect my source, so I let them believe it. He’s never forgiven me.”

“Who was your source?”

“Konstantin. No one believed it wasn’t Vlad.”

“Poor agile Vlad… so you slept with them both.” Eve laughs to herself. “God, I’m sorry I don’t like your boyfriends.”

“I’m sorry you don’t like your soul mate.”

“I… what?”

“It’s all right. I’m not going to fire you. I was in a similar situation once upon a time. I realized it might of been the fact that I loved him that made me dislike him so much. But it is kinda exciting isn’t it? Knowing your bound to someone so… dangerous.” A genuine smile creeps on Carolyn’s face and she shakes her head. “I believe it’s time for bed.”

* * *

****

She looks small, even if quite a few centimeters taller than Eve. Her hand rests on her left shoulder then her cheek on that hand. They are in the small cabin again, except this time it looks clean. A woman is sweeping the floor in the kitchen and a handsome man sits in a rocking chair in front of Villanelle. Swaddled in his arms is a baby with large striking eyes. Eve comes up to stand beside Villanelle.

“I see where you got your looks.”

“Yeah,” Villanelle whispers and doesn’t move.

“Are you in the prison?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t do anything about it until I find that out in real life.”

“I know.”

“Are you scared to be in there?”

“Yeah.” Villanelle says then moves to touch her baby self’s face. “Why are you in Russia, Eve?”

“Nadia. You’re in the prison to kill her right?”

“Who was that man you were with? The old one.”

“Konstantin Vasiliev. He seemed like he already knew me.”

“He likes you but he’s likes to pretend he doesn’t. I think he’s impressed with your intuition. Although, he calls it nosiness.”

“He’s your handler?”

“Yes.” Villanelle turns to Eve and crosses her arms. “Did you talk to Nadia?”

“Yes. She told me talk to Anna.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I’m asking you not to. The woman you loved for the past five years.”

“You pretended to be someone you aren’t.”

“No, I didn’t, Eve. I was 100% myself, I just left out the part about murdering people.”

“Why? You obviously aren’t ashamed of the fact. You enjoy it.”

“Because I didn’t want you to look at me how you are now.”

“Like what, Oksana?”

That causes a twinge of hurt to appear on Villanelle’s face and she nods. Instead of answering she walks over to the frail brunette woman. “I’m lucky my father was handsome because my mom was ugly. Look how thin her hair is. Plus she was a smoker so her teeth were all rotted. By the time I began school she hated me, because everyone talked about how much I looked like my dad and not her. I was a child, Eve. Karma caught up with her and she got lung cancer. Made her even uglier, eventually losing all her hair and then dying. Dead people are never attractive.” Villanelle then moves away from the bed and points at the spot where a child’s crib sat. “I sat in this spot for two days with her rotting corpse before my dad arrived home from a drinking binge. He made me dig her grave in the frozen ground until my hands were raw and bloody. Then he tried to kill me because he blamed me for my mom smoking. I grabbed the knife,” Villanelle looks at the inside of her hand where the long white scar resided. “I held it, let my blood drip all over the white snow, and I told my father. ‘If you ever touch me again, I will cut out your lungs and bury them with Mom.’ He looked at me with the same look you have in your eyes now. Like you guys don’t know. Like I’m a monster. I was a child, Eve! I didn’t know what to do when the bitch that hated me died! I wasn’t sad! So I sat there with her gross, smelly corpse and prayed I would starve to death!” Villanelle finishes in a yell with tears pricking at her eyes.

“Hey, hey, I don’t think you’re a monster,” Eve begins.

“But you hate me don’t you?”

“No, no I don’t,” Eve thinks of what Carolyn said, “Villanelle, I-”

“Don’t say it here if you can’t say it to my face.”

“I’m going to get you out of prison. Into witness protection. We’ll figure things out.” Eve steps towards Villanelle.

Villanelle shakes her head and walks away from Eve. “Find out where we are, Eve. Come here.” Then she opens the front door. “Now I’m going to go shove my head in the lake till I drown and wake up.” She smiles and slams the door. 

Eve wonders if she should follow Villanelle but instead she turns back to Villanelle’s parents. The blanket Villanelle is wrapped in a dark green. Her father smiles, forming fine lines at the corners of his eyes. “Я никогда не позволю никому причинить тебе боль, мой ангел.”

* * *

****

Villanelle flips the shiv in her hand waiting in line to get to Nadia. Straight through the temple. It would require some pressure but she'd do it quick. Her new friend flicks the bruises she left on Villanelle's face.

"Stop that," Villanelle commands. 

Her friend doesn't stop

Villanelle goes to hit her and drops the damn shiv. It clings against the floor and both pair of eyes go to it. "Don't."

Her friend picks it up as they walk forward in line. Villanelle walks backwards until she's in front of the dinner window then turns.

"Nyet!" Nadia screams out.

"Um...yes," Villanelle responds and then dodges a bowl Nadia throws at her. She gives her a disbelieved look then jumps over the counter, her little pal following her.

"She's trying to kill me!" Nadia calls in Russian.

Villanelle points to her groupie. "She wants to kill me."

"Stop her." Nadia pulls the confused guard in front of her.

"Which one?"

A few more words are thrown and Villanelle's friend goes to stab her. Villanelle locks her hands around her elbow and her wrist and thrusts the knife in to the guard’s stomach. She swipes the knife out of the guard and her keys off her waist. “Look at what you did!” Villanelle calls out and backs away. “Look what she did!” Other guards charge into the kitchen. “Be careful! She has a knife!”

* * *

****

"Thank you for coming," Eve says.

Vlad walks up. "Excuse the meeting place. It's between my son's school and the office."

"It's lovely. Very Russian."

"Carolyn doesn't know your here does she?"

"I need Nadia."

"I can't give her to you."

"This organization… murdered my colleague. Oksana broke into my house… she didn't kill me… she connected with me. I think she wants a way out of this thing. Same as Nadia. These are young women being manipulated into this job. Nadia means nothing to anyone in there… but out here she could be the key to the Twelve. Give her to us and we will release your sleeper agent that was helping Frank. I swear if we get a lead it is yours to chase. Yours to own. You can be the heros. I don't give a shit about that. I just want the girls," Eve admits.

"Why?' Vlad smiles and shrugs.

"Because one of them is a little prick and she's keeping me up at night."

"I don't care about your soulmate or whatever this is. You're wasting my time and yours. Good bye."

Eve tenses up. She can't lose this. She told Villanelle she would get her out. "I… I know it wasn't you who told Carolyn about the plutonium. I know who her source was. And I can prove it. He's one of yours." Eve can't prove it and she doesn't know if she can even get proof but Vlad takes the bait.

* * *

****

Nadia's cell door creaks open and crying echoes off the wall. Villanelle presses the tip of the blade through a spider under the bed then slides out. 

"Need a hand?" She offers when she sees Nadia's broken arm.

Nadia backs up as Villanelle stands up and looks down at her. "I can get us out of here."

Villanelle slides her hands in her pockets and backs Nadia into the door. "I'm good, thanks."

"The British, they are helping me."

"Why?"

"I'm going to give them everything."

Villanelle rolls her eyes. "You have something to give them? What? Konstantin?"

"He's working with the British, he's helping them get me out."

"No, he made sure you kept your mouth shut."

"She was asking about you! She wants to help you."

"Who? Was it an Asian woman with amazing hair?"

Nadia nods.

Villanelle bites her lip and smiles. Eve really did care about her then. "What did you tell her?"

"I could have shot you."

"You should have. But you couldn't. That's why Konstantin chose me. What did you tell her?"

"I told her to speak to Anna."

Anger shoots up Villanelle's spine and spreads through her brain. "Okay." She pulls Nadia into her arms.

"Are you going to kill me?" Nadia sobs.

"Mmm-hmm," Villanelle nods.

"How?"

Villanelle slides out the full shiv. "With this, I guess."

"Please, I can get us both out."

She pushes Nadia away from her and rests her hands on her shoulders. "I'm already out. I'm just here for you." Then she walks away and looks around the room. "Maybe we should hang you." Then she turns back around. "But I do have to be quick. Do you know what a Columbian necktie is?"

Then the shiv is sinking into Nadia's throat with a gross wet squelch. Villanelle slides it down from the hyoid to her jugular notch. She uses her other arm to hold Nadia up before dropping the shiv and sliding her hand into Nadia's throat. She pulls her tongue out through the opening and then lets the body drop to the floor. Her hand is soaked in blood and other fluids now, but she picks the shiv back and waits for the guards to pull open the door. Blood spills out of Nadia's neck and she can hear yelling outside of the cell.

Villanelle raises her hands. A smile crawls on her face. For the first time in her life she's excited to be getting shoved alone in a small room. The door opens and she shouts, "Take me to the hole!"


	14. And I'd by lying if I said I didn't miss you

Eve hates that she has to somewhat pretend that she isn't sure Villanelle is in the prison. She's also annoyed that Villanelle killed Nadia but that's the last of her worries. Carolyn just ordered Kenny and Eve to go back to London while she remains in Moscow for some reason. Kenny shoves a bunch of letters in Eve's hands. Eve's tired because she knows Villanelle is in that prison scared she isn't getting out and Eve was trapped in a small grey room alone the entire night.

"Read these, they are dated '77 to '78."

* * *

 

 

A guard handles Villanelle harshly. It's going to leave bruises on Villanelle's shoulder. She plans on killing this guard and Konstantin. She trusted him and he trapped her in here, but Eve would get her out. Fear crawls and bites at her spine. It sinks its teeth into the nape of her neck and whispers,  _ Eve wants you to rot in here _ . She's on edge after spending the entire night alone in the cell without a dream with Eve. 

The guard buzzes open the door to her room and Villanelle eyes the woman already in the room. He starts to take her handcuffs off. "Uh… my understanding of solitary confinement is it's solitary."

The guard warns her to be nice to  _ Inga _ , then leaves the room. Villanelle eyes the large woman laying on the bed, completely unmoving. Maybe she could have some fun.

"Hello, Inga." Then she rolls her eyes. "It's not even worth it to try speaking to you is it?" She walks over and hovers over Inga. "You smell of cabbage." Jerks hers eyes open and tries to get a flinch or anything. Which fails. This was terrible.

* * *

 

 

"Could they be coded?" Eve asks Kenny as she finishes reading over the filthy letters between Carolyn and Konstantin.

"Maybe."

"Go back over them with a fine-tooth comb." Then as a meaningless after thought. "Sorry."

"Right… I found some old photos of  _ sexy _ Russian men." He hands Eve a stack of photos.

She quickly scans through them until she spots Konstantin. "Ohmygod there he is!" She shows Kenny the photo then pockets it.

"Here's Anna too. She's a French teacher at a school just outside Moscow." Kenny gives Eve a piece of paper. "Address. Number."

"God, you're good." Eve thinks for a moment. "Could you find Villanelle's childhood home if I described it to you? I think it's nearby."

"How would you be able to describe it to me?"

"That doesn't matter. Do you have a paper and a pen?" 

He nods and hands her the items. 

Eve draws a big circle. "So this is a lake."

"Eve there's a lot of lakes in Russia."

She ignores him being a smart ass and draws the cabins that are visible on the other side of the lake. "There's three medium sized cabins on one of the sides of the lake." She draws woods and a square to resemble Villanelle's house. "Opposite of those cabins there's a large woods. There's a footpath and if you walk along it for five minutes you get to a tiny cabin, all one room that's just a kitchen on one side and a bed in the other. Kenny can you find it by the time I'm leaving Anna's?"

Kenny's head bobbles while he considers it. "Maybe, but I'm not using this." He gestures to the map Eve drew. "I'll hack in to the school that Anna works at and look for Oksana's file. It would have her address, family, records."

"Thank you." Eve starts walking towards the exit.

"And, Eve," Kenny calls out. "I won't tell Carolyn. About the… you and Villanelle."

"What?"

"Elena told me."

"Of course she did. One more favor Kenny? Call Elena and tell she's got more to worry about from me than Villanelle when I get back to London."

* * *

 

 

She was going to lose her mind. That’s all there was to do. Or she could annoy the guard in the hallway. That seemed like a better choice. Villanelle knocks heavily on the metal door.

“What?” A female guard opens the small slot.

“Excuse me. Do you think I will be allowed to make a phone call?” Villanelle asks with any politeness she can muster.

“No.”  _ Well, fuck. _

“You have a very pretty nose.”

“I don’t like girls.”

“Well, you haven’t tried this one.” She finishes the statement by biting her lip and attempting to be seductive.

“Have you finished trying yet?”

Villanelle rolls her eyes and looks at her roommate. “I’m assuming she isn’t actually catatonic.”

“Inga will not be easily seduced, either. A word of advice: Don’t fall asleep.” The guard slams the slot shut and Villanelle eyes Inga. She needed to fall asleep at some point to tell Eve not to trust Konstantin. 

After a couple hours, the piss poor sleep she got last night starts to catch up with her, alongside the boredom of Inga not reacting to anything she did. Villanelle tried to scare her, was being exceptionally annoying, and was just trying basically anything to get a reaction. Of course, they were all returned by a blank stare. So Villanelle slides down the wall and rests for just a moment. Eve won’t be asleep yet- shouldn’t be asleep. 

There’s an insatiable itch in her chest as she walks around her flat in France. She can’t wait to be back there and take a bath that last at least five hours. Peel the Russian grime off of-

Villanelle jerks awake when she feels a presence over her. Igna is getting ready to slice her throat and Villanelle grabs her arm and kicks her as hard as possible. When Igna falters, she climbs on to Igna’s back and bites down. Her teeth sink into Inga who is trying to shake Villanelle off her back. Copper and salt flood Villanelle’s taste buds and makes her want to throw up, but she bites harder so her teeth are almost touching. Faintly she registers her body slamming down to the ground and people yelling but she just wants to rip Inga’s throat out because she’s so pissed off at Konstantin for doing this to her.

Hands rip her off Igna. “Where are you taking me?” Villanelle yells in russian, her mind still switched to a feral dial, and not letting her remember English or anything.

“You have a visitor.”

* * *

 

 

“Hello, Oksana,” an old woman says standing in the side of the room. There's something oddly familiar about her. “You’ve got a little…” she gestures to her chin.

Villanelle shrugs and moves to sit down at the table. “You were the woman with Eve.”

“Yes, I work for MI6.”

“ _ Cool _ . You here to take me back to London and torture- I mean interrogate me until I talk?”

“Nothing of that sort. No, you are going to work for MI6 now.”

Villanelle leans forward. “What?”

The MI6 woman moves towards the table and sits down across from Villanelle. “I am having you moved to another prison. During that move the car will be attacked by the Twelve and you will be taken to a new handler. He will ask you to kill Konstantin. I don't care what you do to your new handler. Konstantin will be wearing a bulletproof vest but I need you to get him in a room full of people and shoot him. Make it a production. The twelve needs to think he is dead.”

“And what about me?”

“After it’s done, go to your flat in Paris. Collect any items you want and then meet me in Calais in two days at 6 pm. There's a café called L'Hippodrome. We will discuss the terms of your employment and who you can disclaim it to and what you will be doing for us.”

“Why would I agree to do this? I’m very loyal.”

“To who? Eve Polastri? If you don’t do this, we will keep Eve in a prison and use her to find out what you are doing for the twelve. There would be an extreme amount of  _ interrogation _ involved.”

“I don’t care what you do to her. She’s been a pain in my ass. The reason I’m here.”

“I know you two are ‘ _ soulmates _ ’ or whatever people want to call it. I will personally use that against Eve if you don’t work for MI6. Any dreams you have with her would be her begging you to find her and you watch as she slowly loses weight and muscle. As slowly her skin is all bruises and-”

“You get me out of prison?” Villanelle interrupts.

“Yes.”

"Does Eve know?"

"No, and it would be optimal if you didn't tell her."

Villanelle nods. “What is your name?”

“Carolyn Martins.”

“Well,  _ Carolyn Martins _ , I believe MI6 just got themselves an assassin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are y'all excited for the next three chapters cuz I sure as hell am. Also started watching orphan Black I'm through the first season and for some reason my brain wanted to write Kenny with Felix's attitude and I was like ????


	15. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't care

Anna's apartment is… quaint. The woman living in the apartment isn't anything like Eve was expecting. Eve assumed Anna would be suave and seductive, not nervous and full of anxiety. She flips through the letters. There is probably hundreds of letters in French. "Did she always write to you in French?"

"Yes, she loved the French lessons the most."

"This isn't a few letters Anna. This is-"

"She had a fixation."

"Was it reciprocated?"

Anna scoffs. "I was her teacher- I was married!"

"But was it reciprocated? I'm sorry, I'm not judging you. I just need to know as much about her as I can." Eve places down the letters.

"We were told a new student was coming. History of violence. Antisocial behavior. Her mother had just died, her father was a drunk. When she came to the school, everyone stepped back. So I stepped forward. Extra time, extra lessons, extra love."

"What was she like?"

"Oh," Anna smiles, "she was so intelligent and funny. And rude. I liked her."

"What happened?"

"Well, then she wanted more lessons after school. She was good at making you feel bad, so she was here a lot. It was clear that she didn't like Max, but I thought it was because she didn't trust men."

"Well, how did he feel?"

"He thought she was cold. When he was around she'd become quiet, bitter. Sometimes the things she would say were… blunt. I thought he was just jealous because she sent me gifts. Clothes, perfume, expensive french designers, she must have stolen all of it."

"Why do you think she did what she did to him?"

"She was quite literal. Days before, she said that the only reason I loved him was because he had a penis. I told her that she might be right." Anna laughs and runs a hand through her hair. "And then that night, I came home and she was in the apartment. There were balloons everywhere and a huge cake, and she was jumping around and she grabbed my hands and goes, 'I did it, Anna. We can be together now!' and then she showed me what she had done. I went mad. I told her she was evil, crazy-"

"A monster?" Eve guesses.

"Yes, and then the police collected her and she was gone. My life was gone. Maxi was gone." Anna cries. "

"She wrote to you from prison?"

"Yes, everyday until-" Anna sobs and Eve freezes not feeling the want to comfort Anna but knowing she should. "A man came and told me she had killed herself. And I… I already knew… I could just feel it."

"Anna, I need to tell you something." Eve pauses because honestly she doesn't even want to tell Anna. A pit of hate opens up and she hates Anna. "Oksana isn't dead."

Anna leaps up and grabs at her chest, backing away from Eve. "You're...you're wrong. I know she's dead."

"She escaped prison and she's working for an organization that uses her. I've been looking for her."

"It's not her!" Anna snaps.

Eve raises an eyebrow and gives a dry laugh. "You two were soulmates."

"I… there's no choice in that you know? I loved Maxi dearly and Oksana just forced herself-"

"Oksana was a kid. She didn't force herself anywhere, Anna. She needed someone to love her."

"Well, it doesn't matter because she's dead. The dreams stopped. It's been eight years."

"She's not dead. You just killed the part of her that had any sort of connection with you when you betrayed her."

"She killed my husband."

"Because you manipulated a teenager into thinking you would love her. She thought she was doing you a favor because you said the only reason you loved Maxi was for his cock. You knew she showed antisocial tendencies and was very literal and you said it anyway because-"

"I think it's time you leave."

"Because a part of you wanted her to kill Max because you were too much a coward to leave him. Then she did it and you panicked because she was so excited and you realized she wasn't normal. You are just as bad as her parents. You are the monster, Anna."

Anna looks down at the towel in her hand. "There's not much more I can do for you, Agent Polastri. There's a gift that was on the doorstep after I found out Oksana was dead. Do you want to look at it?"

"That would be nice."

Anna nods and walks away. Eve taps her fingertips on the table and pulls out a picture of Anna and Villanelle. Villanelle had to been only 16 or 17, she was a minor, her brain not even fully developed. If she was showing antisocial tendencies before Anna, then Anna manipulating her just truly set it off. Did Villanelle not want her to come here because she thought Eve would agree with Anna? 

Anna plops a bag down in front Eve. "It's French. I assumed Oksana made some elaborate plan to have it delivered after she killed herself, but now?"

Eve pulls the coat out of the bag and holds it up. There's a lump towards the bottom. She eyes the pen and paper already on the table and wonders if Anna can see it. "Do you have a pen and paper? I can give you MI6's number."

"Yeah, sure. Just a moment," Anna says just complying to everything Eve asks to get her out of her apartment quicker. 

As soon as Anna is out of the room, Eve tears into the coat. A passport and a lot of cash. Villanelle is smart, she knew Konstantin would think Anna was out of the picture and eventually things would go to shit. Eve writes  _ SORRY BABY _ down on a piece of paper and shoves it back in the coat before sliding the pen in her pocket. Her phone rings and she pulls it out. A text from Kenny with an address and in capital letters BE CAREFUL.

* * *

****

It becomes apparent to Villanelle that Konstantin hasn't been informed of Carolyn's plan yet. No he is afraid of Villanelle and all of the cards are in her hands."Where's my family?"

"You abandoned me." Villanelle has a single leg lying over the arm of the chair and the other on the floor. 

"I was protecting you. They want you dead."

"No, they want you dead," Villanelle corrects and scratches her chin with the gun.

Konstantin laughs. "Who told you that?"

"Anton."

"Where is he?"

"He's dead."

"He told you to kill me?"

"Yep," Villanelle says and pops the p.

"Who else is dead, Villanelle? Where are they?"

"They are screaming in a cupboard somewhere."

"Thank you," Konstantin says and sighs in relief. "Thank you for keeping my family in a cupboard."

"I'm not stupid."

"I said thank you. Tell me what you want and I will make sure-"

"Your wife is big-strong and your daughter is so loud. They look so alike, their little freckles."

"What do you want?"

"I want to do my job. Really well." She just wasn't sure who her job was for yet. The twelve probably wouldn't be happy she killed Anton, but they would always send a new handler. 

"If I make this easy for you, will you release my wife and daughter?"

"How do you want to go?" Villanelle asks and thinks about how she would want to go. Probably similar to her dad. It would be almost painless and decorate a room. Even if someone tried to clean it they wouldn't be able to get all of the brain matter and blood out. She'd technically exist forever.

"I have pills. And I love a proper whiskey in a proper glass."

That sounds boring. "Go on, then," Villanelle tells him and gestures with her gun. She watches as he gets up. "Why do they want me to kill you?

"They wanted me to leave you in prison. I was trying to help the British get you out and they found out that you were being moved."

"Why did they want me in prison? I'm amazing."

"Do you know how many times I had to argue to get you another chance?"

"More or less than five?"

"More."

Villanelle's eyebrows shoot up and she drops her feet to the ground. "More or less than ten?"

"It doesn't matter."

She shrugs. "Where are your pills?"

"In my drawer."

"Get them."

Konstantin grabs the pills and pours a glass of whiskey. "The twelve is going to go after Eve."

"No they aren't."

"They know you two have been seeing each other in your dreams." Konstantin sits down and stares at Villanelle. "They can't trust that you haven't told her anything. They'll probably torture her first to find out what she knows."

"Take the pills," Villanelle orders and raises the gun to rest on her thigh. Everyone just wants to torture Eve. Villanelle wouldn't let one person lay a hand on her Eve.

Konstantin takes a pill and a drink. "I want to tell you-"

"Take some more," Villanelle repeats. Her voice shakes for a moment. Konstantin had been her only friend. But between MI6 torturing Eve, and the Twelve torturing Eve, Villanelle had more of a chance protecting Eve if she worked for the twelve.

Konstantin swallows more pills then sighs. "I want to tell you about you for a second. Okay?"

Villanelle nods.

"I am so proud of you. I love you. I love you more than this house," a tear runs down Konstantin's face, "I love you more than my family. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, to the organization, and to the future." He studies his glass. "You know, I try to be angry at you, I try to discipline you, I try to trick you into doing what I want you to do and I fail." The last word breaks into a sob. "I fail because I love you. You are more powerful than any other person because of what you have in here." He gestures to his chest.

Villanelle smiles while her eyes get glossy. She loves having her ego filled but this felt an awfully a lot like a goodbye and she hates goodbyes.

"You're so different. You have something strong. You should be proud."

The tears start to break. "Take the pills," Villanelle repeats.

Konstantin nods and looks at his glass once more. Then Villanelle has to dodge to avoid it hitting her face and a log connects with her face sending her flying to the ground. The floorboards creak under Konstantin's feet as he starts to run. "You hit me with a  _ log _ ?" Villanelle groans, disoriented and with an instant concussion. She pushes herself up using her knees and face. When she gets to the door she screams, "You hit me with a log!"

Konstantin runs down the path and to his boat, Villanelle tight on his heels. When she reaches the dock he's already driving away. "I will skin your family alive!"

He flips her off in response, Villanelle returning the favor.

* * *

****

The lake's exactly the same. That's for sure. A flock of birds glide across the otherwise undisturbed lake. Eve thinks it would be peaceful to live out here. That were if she wasn't aware the abuse this place contained. The Russian winds slice through Eve's skin and leave her feeling bare. It makes her think about why Villanelle was naked that first dream. There was something about the brutal cold of Russia that made you feel bare to the world. Like even the most meaningless stranger knows everything about you.

Eve doesn't have much time, though. She tears herself from the lake and follows the fresh footsteps. Maybe two days old, but still there. Birds watch Eve’s every step, looking down, judging, Eve doesn’t know but she hates them. There’s a broken tree laying down in the footpath. She crawls over it. Then she spots the small cabin. Even smaller in person. A plot about two meters long and a meter wide is empty of snow. At the top of it a shovel is shoved into the ground. Dried blood stains the handle. The dirt looks loose and Eve doesn’t bother to look at what's under it. Next to it, a meter to the right, is an unlabeled wooden cross. Villanelle’s mother.

Instead, she makes her way into the cabin. Blood stains the ceiling, but it looks old. Years old. Cobwebs and dust cover mostly everything. There’s only three objects the look recently touched. The clean shotgun hanging above the fireplace that separated the two rooms. The white rocking chair Villanelle’s father had been using in the dream. Then an envelope sitting on the kitchen table with her name written on it. 

She opens the envelope to a wad a cash and a note.  _ There’s enough money for a one way ticket to Paris _ , then an address scribbled underneath it. Eve smiles as she smells  _ La Villanelle _ on the letter before tucking into her parka. A plan B if they don’t break her out first.

* * *

****

Kenny waits for Eve to tell her what she found at the cabin. She makes him wait by telling him about Anna and Oksana’s relationship first, but there’s only so much she can say till she’s out of information. 

“Did you find anything at the cabin?”

“No, not really.”

“Not really? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She had been there recently. Or at least someone had, there were footprints.”  _ And a grave. And a clean shotgun. Oh, and enough money for me to runaway with her _ .

“So she is in Russia?”

“Yes. Are you sure you haven’t seen-” Eve looks at the monitors to see an inmate with a swagger being escorted by two guards. “Wait. That one. The way she walks… are there other angles?”

Kenny switches to a different camera and zooms in on the blonde’s face. She smiles straight at the camera, knowing Eve would see it.

“It’s her! Oh my god. When was this?”

“Noon today.”

Eve claps. “We have her. Oh my god! Where are they taking her? Into one of the visitor rooms? There’s cameras in there, I remember because Konstantin was watching our interview.”

Kenny flips through a bunch of cameras until they get the right one. 

Villanelle is sat down at a table while someone with their back towards the camera talks to her. “Come on, just turn around. Show us your dodgy…” she trails off as it’s Carolyn who turns around “... dodgy little face.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next two chapters is the season one finale. Y'all think Eve will stab Villanelle? I really don't know. It's going to be like Bill where I don't know til about five minutes before I publish the chap.


	16. Don't you know I'm no good for?

    Well, Irina causes a change of plans. Konstantin would have went to Carolyn by now. Which means she’ll inform him of the plan and give him a bulletproof vest. So it looks like Villanelle would be working for MI6. She bites into the burger and ketchup runs down her hand. 

    “Are you a bad person?” Irina asks.

    “Yup.” Villanelle wipes her hand off on the cheap pants Anton gave her. 

    “Are you a pedophile?”

    Villanelle’s head jerks over to Irina. “No!” 

    “Okay, good.” Irina swings her legs. “Do you have dreams? My dad says people who have dreams are weak.”

    “Your dad is stupid. Dreams make people strong. It makes you not need anyone else.”

    “So you do have dreams?”

    “Yes.”

    “Is he a bad person?”

    “She,” Villanelle corrects. “And she is like me.”

    “So she’s a bad person?”

    Villanelle shrugs. 

    “Is my dad bad?”

    “Yes, he is the worst. Are you bad?”

    “I don’t know yet. Is it hard to be bad?”

    “Not if you practice. Have you ever killed a cat?”

    Irina shakes her head.

    “Try it. If you don’t like it then being bad isn’t for you.” Villanelle stands up and tosses her wrapper behind the bench. “Finish that. We’re going.”

    “Where?”

    “To see an old friend.”

    “Your soulmate?”

    “No.”

* * *

 

    Eve glares at Carolyn and Konstantin who are eating breakfast like there isn’t an assassin after one of them.  “Why aren’t your security services on it?”

    “I thought she might make contact with you.” Carolyn answers.

    “Why?” Eve asks.

    “You said you had a connection.”

    “Oh, no, _I_ haven’t had any contact with her since we came.” Eve stares Carolyn down.

    “Why has she taken your daughter?” Kenny saves his mom from an interrogation.

    “So I follow her.”

    “Why would she want that?”

    “She’s been told to kill me. I’m her next target. And I don’t know where she is.”

    “Why would the Twelve want you dead?” Eve asks.

    Konstantin laughs. “I work for Russian Intelligence. Someone always wants me dead. I need to find my daughter. She will drive that woman crazy.”

    “Is she really annoying?” Keny asks.

    “She’s so annoying.” Tears well up in Konstantin’s eyes. “She’s amazing but so annoying.”

    Eve wonders if he’s talking about his daughter or Villanelle. “We should go back to Anna’s. Villanelle is going to go there.”

    “You’ve met Anna?” Konstantin’s tears disappear.

    “Yes. Hopefully I’ll get to her before Villanelle does.” Eve stands up. “I’ll bring Anna back here.”

    Everyone else stands up too. Carolyn speaks, “Good, then I’ll ask Vlad to organize somewhere for her to stay.” She turns to Kenny. “You pack up the base, get home, and we will talk later.”

    “I want to-”

    “You either want a job, in which case do what I say. Or you don’t want a job, in which case fend for yourself for once.”

    Kenny rolls his eyes and sulks away.

    “Alright. I’m going to Vlad. Eve do you need a car?”

    “I’ll take her.” Konstantin stares Eve down.

    “Are you sure you shouldn’t-”

    “No, it’s good. Let's do that,” Eve says and smiles.

* * *

 

    While Irina distracts Anna, Villanelle slips it to the apartment. Her hands are sweaty and she worries that Anna will be able to hear her heart. She manages to get to Anna’s bedroom, which has the same cheap sheets from 8 years ago. She rolls her eyes and goes to closet. The bag is on the floor in the front. Villanelle picks it up and takes it to the bed. The contents fall out on the bed and she latches onto the jacket. A beautiful trench that Anna never wore. Her shaking hands make their way to the bottom where her passport and money should be. Except there’s only a folded piece of paper.

    A grin slides onto her face as she reads Eve’s words, _SORRY BABY_. 

    “Oksana.”

    Villanelle jerks around, pulling out the gun, to look at Anna and then Irina leaning smug against the door way. “You are an arsehole.” Then she looks back up at Anna. “Where is my stuff, my passport, my money?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “Where is she?”

    “Who?”

    “Eve Polastri!” Villanelle yells. Not mad at Anna but at what she may have told Eve.

    “She was here to ask me about- Your face. Your face is hurt.” Anna reaches her hand up. “Let me.”

    Villanelle flinches away, like a stray dog afraid of a helpful stranger. “No.”

    “Just some disinfectant.”

    Villanelle shakes her head. To a stranger she would appear terrified. To Anna she appears feral. 

    “Look at you. Oksana, please.” Then she pauses. “Eve gave me her number.”

    “Give it to me.”

    “You look the same.”

    Villanelle knows she doesn’t. She’s gotten older, stronger, she’s tired, she’s scared. “You look older.” Then Villanelle tilts her head. She pauses to collect herself. “It’s nice.”

    Irina groans. “Can I go?”

    “Don’t move your tiny stinking ass.”

    “It’s not stinking!”

    Anna ignores the two bickering. “Let me clean your face and then I will give you her number.”

    “It is a mess,” Irina agrees.

    “Let me darling,” Anna says in French and makes a move to lower the gun.

    Villanelle allows it and feels the tears heavy on her bottom lid. “It does sting a bit.”

    Anna nods and gestures for the two girls to follow her to the living room. Irina plops herself down on the couch while Villanelle freezes up again. “Everything is the same.”

    “Yes.”

    “Even his chair.”

    “Yes.”

    “The best sex we ever had was on the chair.”

    Anna whips around and points a gun at Villanelle.

    “Oh, hello.” Irina moves to get up. “No, Irina, you stay. This is an example of someone who thinks they can shoot a gun but they can’t. You are safe.”

    “I can. I will shoot your black heart. I thought you were dead.”

    “Because I wasn’t in your _dreams_ anymore? You killed Oksana.”

    “I can do it.”

    “You already killed Oksana. Why not kill the monster you made?” Villanelle teases then spots the cross. “What would God say?”

    “He’d understand.”

    “Did you tell Eve about us?”

    “Are you torturing her with your nightmares now? She’s as evil as you. I can feel it.”

    Villanelle shakes her head. “You see Irina. She can’t do it.” Then Villanelle turns back to Anna. “You can’t.”

    “I believed him when he came and told me you were dead. Every night I just dream of all that blood and I’m all alone-”

    “Did you two used to be soulmates?”

    Villanelle says, “No.”

    The same time Anna says, “Yes.”

    “Oh come on, Oksana. You were in my dreams every night.”

    “We aren’t soulmates. You are a bad person, Anna.” Villanelle lifts her gun. “And the thing is, I _can_ kill you.”

    “No.”

    “I’m sorry, but yes.”

    There’s a gunshot, but it’s not from Villanelle’s gun. Blood spatters on to the ceiling. Irina yells something, but Villanelle is too engrossed in the blood leaking at of Anna’s skull to care. It pours out, covers the ugly rug. "Get me her phone," Villanelle tells Irina. "And look for some money. We deserve a big lunch."

* * *

 

    Eve swipes the gun from Konstantin's glove box and charges him while he uses the restroom. She points it at him, safety still on and her hands shaking. Konstantin raises his hands when he turns his head to see Eve out of his peripheral. "You know Villanelle! Admit it!"

    Konstantin tries to lower his hands.

    "Don't move your hands."

    "But my… I have to put it back."

    "Don't move them! Why do you have a gun in your car?"

    "Because I'm traveling to save my daughter from a psychopath."

    "From Villanelle?"

    "Yes."

    "Does she work for- Don't turn around."

    Konstantin ignores her.

    "I don't want to see it."

    "Can I put it back?"

    "Yes, yes. Put it back." Eve urges with her eyes closed. After a few moments she reopens them. "Did you recruit her from prison? Tell me the truth or I'll… shoot you… in the leg."

    "I recruited her from prison."

    "For who, Russian Intelligence?"

    "For a private organization. They trained her. I… I trained her briefly. But I haven't seen her in years."

    "You're lying, Konstantin. Villanelle told me you and her talked about me."

    "Villanelle told you that? When you had dinner together?"

    Eve thinks, _no, but that's a really good cover up_. "Yes, she told me that you thought I was nosy. That you told her about me in the first place."

    Konstantin laughs. "Listen, Eve Polastri. All I know is that I want my daughter. Villanelle wants me. And you want her. So bring me to Irina and Villanelle will be there. I get Irina, Villanelle gets me, you get her. You are at the top of the food chain. You will get everything you want," Konstatin holds out his hand. "I promise."

    "I'm not going to shake your hand."

    "Don't be proud."

    Eve lowers the gun. "I'm not. I'm hygienic."

    "Shake my wrist."

    Her cell phone ringing saves her. She pockets the gun and takes out her phone. "Anna," she informs Konstantin before answering. "Hello?"

    "Where is my passport?" asks a heavy Russian accented woman. "I liked your note by the way."

    Eve smiles. "I have it. Where's Irina?"

    "I have it. Did you go to the cabin?"

    "Yes… I'm with Irina's father," Eve warns Villanelle. She didn't figure Villanelle would want Konstantin to know about the money she left for Eve.

    "Perfect. Do you want some tea? We are going to Café Radozhny. See you soon." The line dies.

    "Get it the car." Eve gestures between Konstantin and the car. "I'm keeping this. Café Radozhny."

* * *

 

    Villanelle chugs her espresso. She's nearing 48 hours without a good night's rest. On the flight to Paris, she is going to sleep the entire time and stab anyone who tries to wake her up. "Have you been on a plane before?"

    Irina scoffs. "We can't. You don't have my passport."

    Villanelle pulls on a sly smile and pulls out Irina's passport. "Yes I do."

    "Hey!"

    "Your photo is hilarious."

    "Stop it! I was young then!'

    "Your hair!"

    "Dad!" Irina yells and jumps up.

    Villanelle follows and grabs Irina. "Woah." Other patrons scream and duck behind their tables and chairs. _Make it a production._ "That's right, ladies, a child could die." Villanelle's voice echoes off the high ceilings as she presses the gun into Irina's skull. 

    "Damn you!"

    "Shut up. Please stop moving or I will shoot someone, I am desperate."

    Eve pulls out a gun and points it at Villanelle. "Oksana!"

    "Oooo, it suits you."

    "Just tell me what you want."

    Villanelle points at Konstantin with the gun. "Him."

    Konstatin raises his hands and gives the faintest wink. "Not here. I'll come with you."

    Villanelle tightens her chokehold on Irina. "She is really annoying."

    "I know."

    Villanelle moves her head around while she considers her options. "I like her."

    "Me too."

    Eve pulls out Villanelle's baggie of stuff. "I have your passport and your cash. Just let Irina go and I… I'll give them to you." She stutters from either having a gun pointed at Villanelle or Villanelle pointing a gun at her.

    "Throw it."

    "I will if you-"

    Villanelle moves the gun against Irina's skull.

    "N-n-no." Eve tightens her grip on the gun. The safety's off this time.

    "You don't know what to do with that."

    "I know," Eve agrees. "I'm going to put it down." When she stands back up she speaks, "We are not here to-"

    "Throw it!" Villanelle yells. 

    Eve flinches knowing this derangedness isn't in a dream anymore. This could kill her.

    "Throw it," Irina says.

    "Throw it," Konstantin orders.

    Eve lets go of it and it falls not very far from her.

    Villanelle looks down at it and a huff of a laugh slips out. She gives Eve a look to ask _really?_ Then she turns to the nearest patron to it. "Excuse me?" Her voice is soft like someone asking to borrow a pen or a pencil. "Could you pass that along please?" When the man slides it over she stops it with her foot. "Thank you so much." Then she looks up at Eve. "Thank you, _Eve_." Villanelle raises the gun back up at Konstantin.

    "Villanelle, don't break me heart," Konstantin asks of her.

    This is quite the production. "Don't break mine," she replies then looks at Eve. "You either." 

    Eve's gaze softens.

    "Who's your favorite?"

    "What?"

    Villanelle presses her cheek against the top of Irina's head. "Me or her?"

    Konstantin doesn't answer.

    Villanelle's head pops back up. "It's me," she whispers. "A little bit. Isn't it?"

    Konstantin smiles and nods. "Yes."

    "Hey!" Irina calls out.

    Villanelle presses the end of the gun one more to Irina's head. Patrons gasp at the revelation. "Then you won't miss her so much will you?"

    "What do you want?" Konstantin asks.

    "I want to do my job so I can go home and have a bath." Villanelle really does mean it. Before she meets Carolyn in Calais she is going to have the longest bath. Either with or without Eve.

    "Okay," Konstantin agrees. "Okay, do your job but she is not your job."

    Villanelle switches the gun back to Konstantin. She looks at Eve. "You know we never had sex? Weird, huh?"

    "I'm married," Konstantin says.

    "Like that stops anyone, right Eve?" Then Villanelle turns to Konstantin. "You are romantic… and you are a good person… I think. But I have to do my job, you understand that." 

    "No, no, no"

    "Oksana, no!"

    A gunshot echoes in the café. Then Irina punches Villanelle and another gunshot goes off. Villanelle hopes both hit Konstantin in the chest. Eve picks up the gun and runs up to Villanelle. They both have their guns pointed at each other, the ends almost touching. Villanelle watches Eve, she wonders if Eve can actually pull the trigger, not knowing about Carolyn's plan.

    "Come with me, just you and me. Paris right?" Eve offers. 

    Villanelle considers it. Her and Eve could go together, fuck MI6 and the Twelve and run away. It's all she's wanted since she started working for the Twelve. Sirens start in the distant and remind Villanelle of the situation.

    Eve notices Villanelle's hesitation. The thoughts swarming in her brain. "Please, just you and me." It's barely audible in the end. So desperate.

    Villanelle feels tears in her eyes and she screams in her head for Eve to go to Paris. But Eve can't hear it. Villanelle lowers the gun and shakes her head. They couldn't escape MI6 and the Twelve. It wasn't that easy. Eve allows Villanelle to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...well...well... I already got half of the next chapter written... can you guess which part im stuck on?


	17. I'll only hurt you if you let me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before starting this I want to give a warning for gore. Part of this chapter really went in a way that surprised me and caught me off guard, and I also wanted to explore it. So yeah, warning for descriptions of gore.

Villanelle finally gets a chance to get a few hours of sleep. She presses her head to the hard headrest of the economy rated plane seat. She bought two tickets so no one would sit by her. It pissed off the person at the desk but she also really didn’t want to argue with someone that looked as roughed up as Villanelle did.

“Do you want a blanket… or some ice?” The flight attendant asked Villanelle.

“Oh, no thanks.” Then she shivered and the fur coat really wasn’t covering much of her long legs. “Actually can I get a blanket?”

The flight attendant smiles and nods. By the time she returns Villanelle is softly snoring with her face dug into the back of one seat and her legs thrown over the armrests and in the seat beside her. She tosses the blanket out on Villanelle who grips it in her sleep and pushes further into the seats. ****  
** **

Villanelle is in Anna’s apartment. This doesn’t surprise her. The blood flooding the bottom of the apartment does. It’s up to her ankles. She steps on the coffee table and calls out. “Eve? Eve are you here?” The blood rises, dripping off the ceiling and filling the pool. It’s thick and cold, almost congealed. Besides the dripping, it’s silent in the apartment.

The dark red thickness moves to begin to lap up onto the coffee table. Villanelle tries to jump from the coffee table to the couch but a hand connects with the back of the collar of her sweater and tugs her down. She lands in the thick blood. Cold, and heavy like being trapped in quicksand. Blood drips down on her face and she watches as her father kneels down in front of her.

When he opens his mouth to talk, the skin on the bottom of his jaw rots off displaying maggots crawling in and out of the muscles. “Eve!” Villanelle screams not even knowing if the other woman was here. She can’t escape her dad’s heavy grip. His hands move to her throat and pushes her down. The blood slides into her ears, then it’s spilling into her mouth like cold american pennies. Villanelle coughs and it splashes up on her father’s face. He pushes her farther down into it until she can’t breathe and has to close her eyes. Any moment she’ll die in this dream and wake up. Any moment. Any-

The hands on her neck are replaced with arms under her shoulders. She breaks free of the deep red concrete and pulls in a harsh breath of air. She’s panting and can feel tears pour down her face. Her eyes haven't opened yet but she presses her head into the shoulder of her savior.

“Villanelle, Villanelle. Hey,” Eve pushes Villanelle back from her. 

Villanelle forces her eyes open. The blood is up to her and Eve’s shoulders, except not a single drop is on Eve. 

“What’s wrong?”

Villanelle shakes her head and grips Eve tighter, closing her eyes again. Then there’s a searing pain in Villanelle’s stomach and her eyes launch open. Anna has replaced Eve and twists a knife in Villanelle’s stomach. 

“You are a monster,” But it’s not Anna’s voice. It’s still Eve’s voice.

“No, no-” blood sputters out of Villanelle’s mouth, “-I did what you wanted.”

“I was always going to love my husband more than you.” It’s still Eve’s voice coming out of Anna’s mouth. “I was never going to love a psychopath.”

“No, you love me!”

The blood disappears. Anna disappears. The searing pain in Villanelle’s stomach disappears. She raises her hand and wipes the blood off her lips. Villanelle pushes herself up and looks around. Blue and pink strobe lights shoot in different directions. There are hundreds of people in the club. All with wild black hair.

“Eve?” Villanelle’s voice wavers.

The people turn and face Villanelle. She flinches at them. All of them are missing their face. Just flat solid pale skin. Then she spots him. The only person with a face. Did killing him fuck everything up?

“Your name is Bill right?” Villanelle calls out to the man.

His eyes widen at something behind Villanelle. She turns to see what he was looking at. Another faceless person is marching towards him. Her hair is blonde and braided up, unlike all the other people in the club. Her shoulder smashes against Villanelle as she marches towards Bill. She’s wearing the same suit as that night. Her arm wraps around the back of Bill’s neck as she goes to town with a knife to his chest.

All of the faces tear open with a shrill scream. Villanelle clamps her hands to her ears, but it’s still too loud. Her body slams against the floor the same time Bill’s does. With her hands over her ears she watches as Bill’s soul shrivels up and she wonders if hers has already done that.

Then she feels a gentle tapping at her back. The toes of a boot, checking if she’s alive. She forces her eyes open and see’s she’s in an empty prison cell.

“What are you doing?” Eve asks.

Villanelle rolls on her back and stares up at Eve. “I wanted to see if it was possible to fall asleep in a dream..”

“Did you watch inception before falling asleep on the plane?”

“What’s that?”

“A movie. I heard it’s about the whole dream in a dream. I’ve never seen it. Niko said it was good.” 

“Lay down beside me Eve.”

“Okay.”

Villanelle holds her breath as Eve crawls down and lays on her back next to her. Their shoulders press against each other. “You talked to Anna.”

“Yes.”

“Do you hate me now?”

“I hate you for reasons that are definitely not that. I mean it’s not okay to castrate people but she basically asked you to do it.”

“That’s what I said! I am mad you talked to her when I asked you not to, by the way.”

“I’m mad that you killed Konstantin.”

“I have a job, Eve. He was my job. He knew that,” Villanelle says and doesn’t like not being honest with Eve.

“Bill wasn’t your job.”

“I know.”

Silence falls over the pair. Their fingers are dancing against one another, neither of them wanting to grab the other’s hand, but wanted the other one to make the first move. 

“Were you having a nightmare?” Eve asks and rolls over to face Villanelle.

“Yes,” Villanelle answers and faces Eve.

“Will you be in your flat?”

“Maybe. It depends on when I get there compared to when you get there.”

“I didn’t say I was going to Paris.”

“Did you like my home?”

“The lake was nice.”

“Cabin is shite though. Two graves in the front yard.”

“Did you kill-”

“My dad? No. He killed himself a long time ago. Konstantin gave him a letter that I killed myself in prison. He blew his head off with the shotgun. A skeleton when I got there a few days ago. I just cleaned up the mess.”

Eve nods and then rolls onto her back. She knows if she looks over Villanelle will be gone. The overwhelming silence of the room allows Eve to hear her blood flowing through her body. Then even that stops.

* * *

****

Eve allows herself into Villanelle's apartment with the key from the lady next door. Her breath catches in her throat. Of course, Villanelle's apartment is more amazing in real life. The cool crisp air of the apartment Eve hits even with a wall of realizations. Before acting rash, she explores the entire apartment.

Lavish bathroom, expensive perfumes, Jesus Christ an entire mini fridge full of champagne. Eve pulls out a bottle and pops it, capturing the foaming champagne in her mouth. The door to Villanelle's bedroom is open. Eve recognizes the golden blanket on the bed. She makes her way into the bedroom and adrenaline begins to drip in her brain.

It hits Eve again and she can't deny it this time. Villanelle has been fine the last five years. She gets her nice flat, an expensive clothes, and to have sex basically all hours of the day. What does Eve get? A failing marriage, her best friend murdered, the loss of two jobs? While the dreams having been tearing Eve’s life apart and making her miserable, Villanelle is just living her best life. All the things with Anna and her family were just ways she could manipulate Eve into feeling bad for her. To try to get Eve to forget that she didn’t have to kill Bill or anyone else. 

Eve wants Villanelle out of her life, so she can try to fix things with Niko. She wants her out of her dreams, she wants to be able to work for MI5 or MI6 again and not hear about her. She wants her gone. Eve’s entire life has been wanting. She wanted to impress her dad. She wanted to be a spy for MI6. She wants this and she wants that. Eve’s life never has been about doing. So she decides to do something about that.

* * *

****

There’s crashing and glass breaking upstairs. Villanelle shakes her head and climbs the staircase. The door to her apartment is left open. She smiles to herself. Eve came. As she enters the apartment, there’s frantic cursing and footsteps scurrying to hide somewhere. Villanelle gives Eve a moment to hide before finishing entering her apartment.

Which is awfully nice, considering the state her apartment is in. Champagne bottles are smashed against the floor. Her perfumes in her bedroom have been pushed to the floor making the room a gas tank full of scents. “Not my clothes,” Villanelle groans and rubs the anger out of the back of her neck. 

Someone steps on a piece of glass behind her making it shatter. 

Villanelle turns and Eve’s pointing a gun at her. She wants to yell at Eve for destroying her flat and clothes, but she swallows the anger and smiles. “Did you have a party or something?” She shimmies to get the point across.

“In the last five years, I’ve lost two jobs, my husband, and my best friend because of you.”

“Yes, but you’ve had hot sex for the last five years. Put that down and I might forgive you for,” Villanelle gestures to the flat, “your temper tantrum.”

“I’m going to kill you. Then I’m going to fix things with my husband. Pray that I can talk MI5 into giving me my job back.”

“You’re not going to kill me.”

“I am.”

“You’re not.”

“I am!” Eve yells and raises the gun.

“You love me, Eve.”

Eve falters.

“So what now, Eve?”

The gun lowers and Eve shakes her head. "I'm going to tell you something. Sit down."

Villanelle chuckles and sits down at her vanity. She watches as Eve sits down across from her on the bed. Her thumbs wind and unwind as she forces herself to not just latch on to Eve and fuck Eve til Eve forgave Villanelle for everything.

Eve sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "I think about you all the time."

Villanelle raises an eyebrow. Of course Eve thinks about her all the time, they spent multiple hours with each other.

"Even when we aren't together in the dreams. I can't sleep when you aren’t there because I'm too busy tossing and turning thinking about you. During my days at work I'm too busy thinking about you. I think about… what you're wearing and what you're doing and who you are doing it with. I think about what friends you have. I think about what you eat before you work and what shampoo you use and what really happened in your family. I think about… your eyes and your mouth and… what you feel when you kill someone. I think about what you do afterwards… I just want to know everything about the real you." Eve finishes and stares at Villanelle. Inside Villanelle. Her soul.

Villanelle swallows and leans forward. "The real me? The one everyone calls a monster?"

"Yes," Eve replies without missing a beat. "Because unlike all those other people, I know that you are a good person."

Villanelle huffs. She looks around her destroyed apartment. "So you trash my apartment because you love me?"

"I know it's not conventional… but none of this is." Eve looks at her hands for a moment and readjusts on the bed like she is uncomfortable. "What do you want?" Then she points an accusatory finger at Villanelle. "Honestly, don't be a dick."

She flashes Eve a look, disbelieved that Eve would think Villanelle would ever be an asshole. Then Villanelle pauses and she thinks about Eve's question. "I just wanted you to come to Paris."

Eve stares at her. Once again her gaze softens being completely blown away by Villanelle's honest response. She falls back on the bed, and ignores the pain it causes in her back. "God, I'm tired."

Villanelle laughs at the irony. They are finally alone in real life and they're both tired. 

"Aren't you tired?"

"A little, yeah," Villanelle agrees. She sits down on the bed and picks up Eve's forgotten gun. Apparently she quickly forgot that she was going to kill Villanelle. Cold fingers wrap around the heavy metal gun. Villanelle falls back on the bed beside Eve. "I told you we'd end up together no matter what."

Eve laughs. "I can't believe you chose your code assassin name as the same nickname you gave me to call you."

"I wanted to make things a little bit easier,  _ Love _ ." Villanelle lets her eyes fall closed. She had to be in Calais in ten hours, but she could relax for a few hours.

"Oh god," Eve groans. "Are you going to kill me?"

Villanelle opens her eyes back up and looks at Eve. Deep, warm, brown eyes bore into hers. She shakes her head.

"Promise?"

"Promise," Villanelle answers quietly as if being too loud will pop the bubble her and Eve are in. She remembers the gun in her hand and smiles shyly, while setting it down on the ground. The bed creaks when she rolls over to face Eve. "Would you stay for a bit?" 

Eve doesn't answer at first. Then she moves to face Villanelle. Mirrors her with one arm tucked under her head, but forgets the other one behind her back. "Sure."

Villanelle releases tension and finally lets herself relax completely. She takes in all of Eve and her heart aches with want. Her hand comes up with finally touch that wild hair in real life. A little tangled, not perfectly soft, but perfect to her. "I've wanted this for so long, Eve."

"I have too. I'm just…"

"Nervous?" Villanelle smirks and moves to kiss Eve. "I'll make sure you feel-" there's sharp pressure on her stomach. "Wow." She looks down at her switchblade pressing into her own stomach. "That's rude." A smile slides on her face and she looks up at Eve. It wasn't the first time they brought a knife into the mix, but she's surprised Eve would want their first real time to be so kinky.

"Yeah," Eve agrees but the look in her eye isn't the same as Villanelle's. It's the look of someone who has lost everything because of someone, and that other person having a perfectly good time in Paris. 

Villanelle notices. Her smile falters for a second. Going from an excited smile to an animal baring their teeth. "You can't."

"I can."

There's pressure and then a burst of pain shooting through Villanelle's body. She gasps as Eve rolls over and straddles her, pushing the knife in deeper. 

"I can," Eve grunts and holds the woman down. She pushes in deeper and deeper. She waits for Villanelle to turn feral like she imagined. To dig her fingernails into Eve's hand and to try to pry Eve off her. Except their eyes connect and there is nothing but tenderness and betrayal in Villanelle's eyes.

Villanelle cusps Eve's hand and holds the knife in place feeling warm, hot blood spill up through her fingers. "I love you."

Eve falters and when her grip loosens the knife twists and sends another burst of pain.

"It hurts," Villanelle cries out. She watches as Eve starts to panic. "Don't pull it." Eve pulls the knife out slicing more skin and muscle on the way out. "What did I just say!" Villanelle screams and pushes her fingers over the wound.

Eve starts panting and holds her hands over Villanelle. "Hold on, hold on. It's okay. Just out your hand there." She places Villanelle's hand so her palm is completely covering the gaping wound. Villanelle is whimpering, high pitched, and desperate. "I got you, I got you. I'm gonna get something." Eve crawls off Villanelle. "Wait there!"

Villanelle digs her heels into her bed and slides herself off the bed. The mattress follows her when she lands on the floor. She takes one hand from the wound and grabs the gun. Her body is weak and she falls to her side to use the floor as a balance for her shaking arm. "Hey!" She yells to get Eve's attention. Then when Eve pops her head out she fires a bullet into the counter to scare Eve. She hears Eve yell at her so she fires another bullet while thrashing her body around to get up. Villanelle lifts her leg and uses the momentum to get her upper body up. She crawls up so she's bent over the bed and then finishes pushing herself up. Every tiny movement sends piercing pain out of her stomach, but she stumbles out of the apartment knowing if she stayed she would kill Eve, even if it's not what she wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So listen... I see the overwhelming majority thinks having Eve stab Villanelle isn't the right choice for me to make. I was going to post this chapter earlier but then I read the comments and felt like I should rewrite it. I tried... but to me it didn't feel right. When I initially got the idea for this story it was based on this chapter and the next so really everything that came before it was leading to this and I'm sorry if this feels like a cop out. I did add in the bit of Eve at the apartment to maybe give a better explanation as why I felt like Eve would still stab Villanelle, because originally that wasn't in there. In my mind, in this story and set of events, Eve is hit with the fact that while she has been losing everything because of Villanelle, Villanelle has only been gaining. In her eyes Villanelle has just been playing with her enough to make sure she doesn't lose her and when Eve enters the apartment she realizes Villanelle is perfectly fine. She's not this broken girl that she's been letting Eve believe she is, Eve isn't her white horse. To me Eve's very intelligent, so much so, that she often assumes what she thinks is the truth. So if she thinks Villanelle is manipulating her and using her, then Villanelle is manipulating her and using her, end of the story.  
> On the flipside, I'm not writing it so Villanelle is manipulating Eve on purpose. She's genuinely trying to show Eve who she is and to let Eve in. Villanelle isn't gaining because while she has all these nice clothes, and a nice flat, and all this money, she doesn't have the one thing she wants. Which is Eve. Villanelle's line, "I just wanted you to come to Paris." is the most important line I've used for writing her charactization in this story. I try to show Villanelle as... she's never had anything before. Which she has, she had anna and she has this lavish life but in her mind none of this stuff completely connects. There's no emotions from these things. So she wants Eve. She just wants to lay next to Eve and to be able to think because if Eve is beside her then she can finally relax and let herself feel the last 26 years of her life. It's like everything winds her up and she's tense and killing helps to release some of the tension, but it's only when it's just her and Eve on that bed, does all the tension finally just leave her body.  
> I understand if you don't like this chapter and don't want to keep reading. I get it, and I was going to change it for you guys but at the end of the day it's my story and this is what felt right to me. I hope you keep reading it and I hope you feel the same way I do about this chapter after reading it. Because it's been one of my favorite chapters to write and I really want you guys to like it too.


	18. I thought I didn't have to care about anything

The cashier watches Villanelle with disbelief as she stumbles around the convenience store. She was getting blood all over the floor and items. Villanelle has walked around the store twice looking for needles and thread. 

“Do you have sewing needles and thread? I seem to have misplaced mine,” she stops and asks the cashier in French.

“No, we don’t carry any of that.” His eyes are on her abdomen.

“Great. Great. Alright I’ll just be a few more seconds,” Villanelle says and then goes to collect a different combination of items.

After another few minutes, Villanelle slaps a lighter, a survival knife, magazine, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, large bandages, and a bottle of vodka down on the counter. The cashier stares at her blood covered hand and the hole in her shirt.

“Are you alright?” he asks in French.

“I’m perfectly fine.” She smiles and then pulls out her gun. “I don’t have any money. I’m sorry. But can I have a paper bag to carry this stuff.” She’s still smiling and talking calming in French.

The young man grabs a paper bag and stuffs everything into it. His hand shakes as he holds it out to Villanelle. She slips the gun back into the waistband of her pants and takes the bag. Her boots squeak on the drops of blood littered on the floor of the convenience store.

“Psycho bitch,” he spits as she leans against the door.

She nods and smiles. “Have a lovely day.”

Then she’s stumbling down the sidewalk again. People stare at her in concern then fear when she threatens to spoon out their eyes. They jerk away and stare at her with disgust and pity. She manages to get to a clear back alley with no homeless, junkies, or dreamers. God, were people looking at her like she was one of those three? Villanelle shudders at the thought even though the third one was true. There was a difference between just having the dreams and being a  _ dreamer _ . Dreamers were drugs addicts, heroin or meth usually. Doing anything to avoid their dreams or doing everything to see their dreams.

She slides down a wall and pulls her arms out of her shirt so it sits on her shoulders. Copper fills her mouth as she bites into it. She pulls out the bottle of rubbing alcohol and peels off the plastic protection. Pain makes her toes curl and muffled groans echo in the alley as she pours rubbing alcohol in the wound. Since blood isn’t filling her mouth and she hasn’t died yet, she assumes Eve didn’t hit any organs. Villanelle grabs the vodka next and spits the shirt out of her mouth. She chugs it until she’s coughing it up and then sits it down beside her. Then she pulls the lighter and the magazine out. 

When the corner of the Vogue magazine is lit, she pulls the knife out and replaces her shirt as a gag again. The knife slowly turns red in the flame and when Villanelle is sure it’s hot enough she tosses the burning magazine away. Her hand moves to the wound and she pushes it shut. The knife makes contact and her entire body thrashes against itself. Her head slams back into the brick wall and it sears. It fucking sears, and smells. It’s white hot pain. She chucks the knife after a few seconds and hears in clatter far away. Her breathing is erratic and she needs to calm down otherwise shock is going to be a bigger problem than this wound. 

Eventually she does. She picks the rubbing alcohol up and pours a little more on the wound, a kiss compared to the knife. Then Villanelle covers the wound with a bandage, slides her hands back into her sweater’s arms, grabs the bottle of vodka, and gets up. She stomps out the burning magazine, as she leaves the alley. 

* * *

 

Eve sits on the Eurostar and picks at the blood on the underneath of her nails. Villanelle's blood. Vibrant dark red. Of course it was. It wouldn't be black, Villanelle was human after all. Like Eve. Except Eve was alive and Villanelle-

She chokes on the thought and puts her head down in her hands. People laugh and giggle in other seats on the train. Not a clue there was a potential murderer on the train with them. Eve wonders what Bill would think if he was here. If he'd be disgusted of the mess Eve had become. Except Bill didn't get disgusted with people. He just understood. No matter what or who, he just understood. 

"You alright there? You with the wild hair?" A young male voice asks.

Eve jerks up and looks at him. He is not the type Eve would associate with. A silver metallic button up that only has one button done, under a white peacoat that’s the same color of his messy hair. His neon green eyeliner is smudged, probably hasn’t slept since yesterday morning. Silver combat boots have leather skinny leggings tucked into them. "What?"

He slides into open seat across her. "Jesus, lady." Then he glances around at the other patrons, not a single one noticing the woman on the verge of a breakdown and the twenty year old pulled right out of mosh pit. He sits his hand on the table between them and lifts up one side, the one away from the inside of the train. "You avoiding sleep?"

"I… no…" Eve answers. Did he think she was a junkie? The baggie under his hand is full of a white powder.

"Oh?" He slams his other hand against the table. "Is it sleep you need then?" He lifts his hand to show light brown powder in a small baggie. 

"I'm not… I don't do drugs."

He laughs and slides his hands off his table. "Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they do them. I just want to make sure you get pure shit.”

Eve shakes her head. “I’m not even… no, I’ve never thought about them.”

“Alright, that’s fine.” Then he juts his thumb over his shoulder. Eve notices the young man around the dealer’s age that looks just as disoriented as Eve. “I’m going to go take advantage of that sucker. If I get money from him, you have to tell me what’s got you all upset.”

“You are a leech,” Eve says and smiles. This guy reminds her way too much of Villanelle, from the way he dresses to make eyes go to him, to the way he was taking advantage of people. 

“I like to think of myself as an opportunist.” He pops the collar on his peacoat then slides his hands into his pockets, preparing for the same trick he gave Eve. He bows and then walks away from Eve.

Her phone starts ringing as he slides into the seat with the crying man. Eve doesn’t look at the number before answering it. “Hello?”

“I am told you aren’t in London. Why is that?” Carolyn asks.

“I’m on my way back right now.”

“Good, you will have two days of rest while I take care of this mess you created in Russia. Then I will send you the address to the new office and I expect to see you there.”

“Am I not-” The line goes dead. Eve closes her eyes and lets her head fall against the table. Two days of rest would give her enough time to call Niko and try to talk him out of divorcing her. The table vibrates under hands smacking it. Eve looks up to see cash slapped under a pair hands with silver fingernails.

“He bought both bags because he was an indecisive bitch. So you owe me a really good story.”

Eve shakes her head. “Who are you?”

“Shawn Baxter. S-E-A-N, not how you  _ Americans _ spell it,” Sean says and frowns at the word Americans like he might catch something from it. Eve places his accent as Scottish.

“I’m actually not American, I live in London. My parents split when I was young and I moved with my dad to Connecticut. When he passed away I came back here.”

Sean sits down in the seat and moves a leg to hang over the arm. “What’s your name, darling?”

“Eve Song,” she uses her maiden name.

Sean smiles and it reminds Eve way too much of Villanelle. The mix of a feral animal baring their teeth and a smile. Somewhat unsettling. “Well, Ms. Song, we have two hours and I’m  _ dying _ to get to know how a lady gets blood trapped under her fingernails.”

* * *

 

Villanelle hugs the military coat she found on the train to Calais. The bell on the door rings but no one bothers to look at her. The coat covers her bloody sweater and protects her cold, shaking body. Carolyn sets her phone down on the table and nods at Villanelle. She stumbles to the booth and falls into the seat.

Carolyn pushes papers forward. “When working for MI6, you will not be able to disclaim to anyone except Konstantin or me, what you are requested to do. When working for MI6, you will have no intentional contact with Eve Polastri, and during unintentional contacts you will not be allowed to disclaim the fact that Konstantin is alive, or that you work for MI6. When working for MI6, you will be given a safe house. You have to check in every other day, when you are not given a job. Failure to follow these protocols will result in the termination of your employment. These protocols may and will change at anytime and you will adapt to those future changes. Any questions?” Carolyn speaks like a robot, not showing any emotion of caring about Villanelle’s battered appearance.

“Yes. Do you have any antibiotics?”

Carolyn nods and digs in her purse. She pulls out a bottle of pills and slides it to Villanelle. “Any other questions?”

“Do I actually have to read these papers?”

“I have to say yes, but I warn you they are terribly boring.” Carolyn gives a small smile.

“Do I work in an office?”

“Sometimes, but you are wanted more for field work. Spying and-”

“Assassinations?”

“MI6 doesn’t assassinate people.”

“But a psychopath that goes rogue…”

Carolyn smiles again. “Konstantin told me you are extremely intelligent. When we arrive in London, Ms. Felton will pick you up and take you to your safe house. We have tried to choose one that you would like but feel free to redecorate. Konstantin will be staying with me for the time being.”

“After Ms. Felton shows me the safe house what do I do?”

“Tomorrow morning, a cab will be outside of your new flat at 8 in the morning. It will take you to the office and you will meet some of your coworkers. They are all under the same disclaimer as you. Eve cannot know you work for us.”

“Why not?” Villanelle rolls her eyes and readjust so she’s laying on the booth with both legs up. Her fingers find the edge of the bandage.

“Well, we need a reason for her to want to work for us, don't we?”

“So she’s still going to be trying to find me?”

“You and other assassins.”

“She won’t care about other assassins.”

“Well from looking at you, I do hope she cares about them a little more,” Carolyn says and smiles. “Our train is about to leave.”

“I have contacts in London, will I be allowed to visit them?” Villanelle says while standing up.

     “As long as you don’t disclaim that you are working for MI6, I don’t see why that would be an issue.”

* * *

 

“You chased an assassin down to where she lived and stabbed her?” Sean asks Eve. He’s shaken off his coat and rolled up the sleeves of his button up. Pale white elbows press into the table while his chin is in his hands. “Eve, you are not telling me something.”

“I’m telling you more than I should be.” Eve shakes her head, not really understanding why she just told this stranger about her chasing down an assassin the past few weeks. The train stops and people start getting up. “Well, it was nice meeting you Sean but I need to order a cab and get home.”

“I have a car, I can drive you and you, little lady, can give me your number,” Sean says and jumps up. He picks up his coat and links their elbows. 

“I don’t… yeah, sure why not.”

While they walk off the station Eve takes his phone and puts her name in it. Sean seems extremely happy to be friends with someone who stabbed an assassin. Eve figures it has to do with the same reason she was so excited there was an assassin. It’s not boring. “So what is the name of this maybe dead assassin?”

“Villanelle.”

Sean has a hiccup in his stride. “ _ Villanelle _ ,” he repeats then walks normal. “That’s a terrible name.”

“Yeah, well I think she loves it. Thinks it’s clever.”

“Because it has the word villain in it?”

“No, a villanelle is a form of poems typically written about obsession.”

“Are you obsessed with her or is she obsessed with you?” Then he puts a hand on Eve’s elbow. “No wait! You both are obsessed with each other.”

“You are really annoying,” Eve points out.

“I wouldn't want to be anything less,” Sean says and stops in front of a black Toyota Prius. “This is my baby, Eve, so do not get your girlfriend’s blood on any of the interior.”

“She’s not my-”

Sean opens the door for Eve. “Not your girlfriend. You only ran to Paris to find her because she’s an assassin? I’m gay, Eve, not a dumbass, although you seem to have both of those checked off.” He closes the door behind Eve and walks around to the driver’s side, casting a single glance and a nod at the tall blonde woman watching them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are going to get Dark Eve in this... I promise... It's just not going to be quite the same way the show does it... and it's going to be gay


	19. But I'm older now and know that I should

Blood runs down Villanelle's fingers as she clenches her hand into a fist. She's going to kill Sean. The little scheming drug dealer-

"Villanelle?" A nervous voice asks behind her. 

Villanelle tears her eyes away from the black Prius and turns around. "You Ms. Felton?"

"Elena, but yes. I… it's nice to meet you," Elena leads Villanelle to her car. "No luggage?"

"Nope. Didn't have much time with Eve stabbing me," Villanelle replies and climbs into the car.

"Eve stabbed you?"

"Well she definitely didn't kiss me." Villanelle slides down in the seat and pulls up her shirt. She winces as she pulls back her bandage and looks at the blistered skin. "Does this look gross?"

"Um, yeah." Elena keeps her eyes forward and doesn't look.

"Are you and Eve friends?" She replaces the bandage.

"If you're wondering if she told me about you two, she did." Elena finally looks over.

Villanelle smiles. "What did she say?"

"That she wanted to kill you."

"No way."

Elena nods. "Seems like she changed her mind."

"Have you talked to her recently?"

"Not since before Russia. I called her out on shagging you in her dreams, she didn't deny it."

"Did she tell you I am  _ amazing  _ during sex? I made her-"

Elena interrupts, "Alright, why don't we listen to the radio?"

Villanelle laughs and sits up straight. "I like you, Elena." She fidgets with the radio until she catches the tune of Toxic. Villanelle sings along.

Elena glances over and laughs. She tries not to but when the chorus hits she's singing Britney Spears with an assassin.

* * *

****

Niko is already in the house with boxes stacked up all around him. The boxes are full of Eve's stuff. He explains if Eve lets him have the house, he will let her have their savings. She says whatever and makes a cup of coffee.

"Do you have anywhere to stay? Otherwise you can stay here until you find an apartment," Niko offers.

"Yeah, just give me a moment." Eve sits down her coffee mug and slides out her phone. Niko gets the hint and walks out of the room. Her finger hovers over Elena's name. Elena would be the smart option if Eve wanted somewhere safe to stay. Elena would also have judgements. Eve dials a different number.

"Hello, darling, miss me already?" 

She can hear the smirk on Sean's face. "I was wondering if you had a couch for me to crash on."

"How badly do you need it?"

"Well, my husband is divorcing me and kicking me out."

"Husband? Is he handsome?"

"Sean," Eve warns.

"Well he's going to be single and anybody married to you has to be damn near a male model."

"Do you have a couch or not?"

"Just a second."

Eve hears rustling of what must me Sean pressing the phone to his shoulder.

"Amelia, babe, it's time to get your drug addict ass out of my house." There's a female yelling. "That is not my problem that your boyfriend is in prison!" More yelling. "Amelia I swear to God! If you get out now I'll let you take the microwave."  There's a sound of agreement, clattering, then a door slamming. "Do I need to come pick you up?"

"Did you just kick someone out?"

"No, not a clue what you are talking about."

Eve groans.  _ What am I doing? _ she thinks,  _ I'm about to move in with a drug dealer that I barely know. _ Is this what Bill meant when he said yes to everything? "Yeah, I need you to pick me up."

"Alright, I'll be there in half an hour." The phone clicks off and Eve slides it back into her pocket. 

An awkward hour later of Niko and Eve going over the divorce papers, there's a knock at the front door. Niko offers to get the door and Eve waves him off as she doesn't get up from the table. There's tense talking and then Eve hears two sets of footsteps coming near her.

"Eve, your… friend is here," Niko says.

Eve turns to look at the two vastly different men. One's 46, dressed in jeans, work boots, and a flannel, and has a horrendous mustache. The other's maybe 25, in tan Versace joggers, and a mesh top. His hair is already a different color, neon pink, and buzzed to about a centimeter long. His sandals match his hair. In his hand is a cup holder with three iced coffees.

"You're late," Eve points out as she stands up. 

"I brought iced coffee, though. One for me, one for you, and one for this lovely gentlemen."

"I don't drink iced coffee," Niko says.

"Well, your mustache is ugly. Eve, what do you want me to carry?" Sean pushes off the doorway and sits the cupholder down on the table.

Eve runs a hand through her hair and gets up. Niko's moved most of her boxes of clothes and stuff to the entryway. She gestures to it and Sean laughs. "That's going to take more than one trip. I already have a large box in the back of my car."

"A large box of what?"

Sean scratches his neck. "Oh, you know, just some work stuff."

_ Yes to everything _ , Eve reminds herself. "Niko is it okay if Sean and me run some stuff to his…"

"Studio," Sean whispers.

"His studio then come back and get the rest."

"I can just pack the rest of it in my car and then follow you guys?" Niko offers and walks into the room.

"Oh, that would be lovely. We can fill my entire car and Eve can ride with you." Sean pats Niko's shoulder and then sits his coffee down and picks up a box. When he's out of the house, Niko turns to Eve.

"I've never met him before."

"Yeah, he's a newer friend."

"I dread to think about where you met him." Niko picks up a box and walks out of the house. 

* * *

****

Sean's studio is above a small clothing shop. Eve leans against the brick wall and sips on the iced coffee Sean had brought to Niko's house. Niko and Sean walk down the outside stairs, bickering, and Eve closes her eyes. A few peaceful moments is all she needed. Thought she doubts she'll even get that once Niko is gone. Maybe that was a good thing. As soon as Eve has a moment to relax, what she did would really settle in.

"Niko, you have been a pleasure," Sean puts an arm around Eve's shoulder, "but I truly hope I never see you again."

Niko nods and rolls his eyes. "Eve, I hope you know what you're doing."

"I am. I'm finally doing something." She pushes off the wall and walks towards him.

“There’s a difference between trying new things and ruining your life.” Then he pinches his nose and tries to calm down. Sean watches from open gate of the stairway, a smile hanging on his lips. “Listen, Eve, I’m not stupid. I know you’ve been having dreams with someone.”

Eve gapes not quite knowing how to respond.

“I also know this,” he swings his arm at the building, “isn’t who you are. You shouldn’t change yourself for someone you hardly know.”

“Maybe this is who I am, Niko.”

“No, it isn’t Eve. What do you think you’re doing?”

Saying yes to everything. “I’m living, Niko. I’m trying things. Being bored everyday for the last 16 years of my life isn’t living.”

Niko steps back, offended. “Well, I have been having dreams too, Eve. She happens to like me alot and thinks being normal isn’t the most terrible thing.”

Eve nods and walks away. 

“I hope you enjoy your choices, Eve,” he calls after her, having to get the last word.

Sean flips him off and follows Eve upstairs. “Eve, why in the world were you married to him? The man had Cousin Itt living under his nose. Please tell me he didn’t have that when you chose to marry him.”

Eve ignores Sean and wipes a tear off her face. “Do you own that shop downstairs?”

“Yes! All crafted by me. It may not be your style persay, but I do get some interesting customers,” Sean says and slides past Eve. “I’ll get you wearing one of my outfits by the end of the week.”

“Hopefully I’m not here by the end of the week.”

Sean opens the door and let’s Eve in to his studio. “Home sweet home.”

Home sweet home is a fucking mess. Snippets of fabrics lay on the floor everywhere. There’s bolts of fabric splayed out on a long desk in the middle of the room. Dress forms with finished and unfinished designs are scattered through the middle of the apartment. Eve’s boxes are all on the far left side against a window. On the back wall to her left is a long black leather couch. To the right is a bed with white bedding. The far wall is a kitchen with a door all the way to the right. The word  _ BATHROOM _ is spray painted on it, making Eve wonder what sort of situations had to happen for that to be needed. For the most part it’s a large studio apartment. 

“Before you ask, ‘How can you afford this?’ mommy and daddy died when I was 23 and left a big inheritance to their estranged son.”

“They just died?” Eve asks as she walks over and looks at one of the female dress forms. A lavender blazer with black velvet lapels. It reminded Eve of something Villanelle would wear.

“Yep. Break lines in their car gave out and they were t-boned by a semi.”

Eve jerks her head over. “That’s terrible.”

“It was two years ago and besides… we were estranged. Honestly, I think they just forgot to change their wills.” Sean shrugs and tosses off his slides. He gives Eve a look to take her shoes off.

She sits down on the couch and is hit with the heaviness of sleep. “Why do you sell drugs if you’re well off?”

“It’s fun.” He pushes picks up bolts of fabric and moves them so he can sit on the desk. “I like to have fun.”

“These people are dying from overdose.”

“It’s not my problem if they don’t know how to use drugs.”

Eve shakes her head and goes to lay down.

“No!” Sean yells.

Eve jumps back up. 

“You need to shower before you sleep. You have girlfriend blood under your fingernails yet.”

She gets up and goes to the box labeled clothes. Simple underwear, and a t-shirt will work for now. “Do you have a towel I can borrow?”

“Yeah, they’re in there.” Sean points at the bathroom. “Oh! And ignore the blood stains on the ceiling. They were there when I bought the place.”

Eve nods, too tired to not believe him. 

She sits in the bottom of the shower and when the water hits her back it pushes up the sobs out of her mouth. They crack open her chest like two knives being pulled apart from each other. It aches and throbs. Her head is shoved between her knees and the water pelts into her back. Eventually it gets cold and her entire body is shaking. 

Knocks sound on the bathroom door. “Eve, are you okay in there?”

Eve doesn’t respond and expects the door to open, but it doesn’t. If Eve wants to be a badass who moves in with a punk, stabs an assassin, and goes rogue at work, then Eve needs to stop expecting people to baby her. She stops crying, turns off the water, and dresses. She wraps her hair up in the towel and looks at her reflection. Her eyes are bloodshot but not a single tear falls.

* * *

****

Villanelle tosses and turns on her circle bed. She’s fallen asleep and woken up three times, because Eve wasn’t there. The burn on her stomach tugs and pulls every time she moves. It throbs and is hot. Her hair sticks wet to her neck. She flops off the bed and drags herself up to her feet before making her way to the kitchen. There’s an icemaker on the fridge and she pulls her silk pajama top over her head. Balls it up to form a makeshift bag and fills it with ice. 

When she gets back to bed, she lays on her back and holds the ice over the bandage. Her mind travels to Eve, as usual. The two are connected physically now too. No matter what happened, Eve is always with Villanelle. She worries seeing Eve with Sean. He was a friend of Villanelle’s but she hasn’t seen him in over a year and that boy could change faster than the wind. She doesn’t have a clue what use he would have for Eve, so she hopes it was a one off incident of him being nice and not Eve buying drugs from him. If she could just see Eve in her dream then she could tell Eve she was fine, but apparently Eve doesn’t want to see Villanelle because the few times Villanelle drifted asleep, she was alone. The wound melts the ice and as a drop of water leaks out of the shirt and runs down Villanelle’s abdomen, a drop of water falls down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter kinda sucks... not a lot happens... I'm not super happy with it but it's really just setting things up. The next chapter is also going to set things up but I'm more excited for it and then chapter 21 through 27 should be really good or at least the current vague idea I have for them is good. But that could always change because I'm a dumbass


	20. I didn't cry when you left at first

Carolyn introduces a sulking Villanelle to the team. Hugo, a posh oxford graduate man whore. Jess, a pregnant calm headed, intelligent woman. Kenny, Carolyn’s son and a computer geek. Then Elena, who Villanelle met yesterday. She’s briefed on the latest case that isn’t her. A killer who was going after people connected to Peels, who are some internet moguls. It’s all boring to Villanelle who just rolls around in a chair and wishes she was asleep. Villanelle yawns and gets up in the middle of her third power point presentation.

“What the- Where are you going?” Hugo asks standing in front of the projector screen.

Villanelle shrugs. “I’m going to go snort some cocaine off the bathroom sink.”

They all look at her like they believe it.

She pulls out her bottle of antibiotics and lifts her shirt out of her suit bottoms to show them the bandage. “I need water to take my antibiotics.” Then she fixes her shirt and walks to the side room with the water dispenser. 

Her hand wraps around one of the paper cones and she gulps down three cups before taking her pills with the forth. She tosses the paper cone in the bin and leans against the dispenser. The wound is throbbing and spreads throughout her body. Painkillers made her head foggy, so she couldn’t bring herself to ask Carolyn for any. She’s trying to be on best behavior too, because maybe Carolyn would let her and Eve work together then.

“Eve called. I’m going to go meet her for a late lunch,” Elena says and pops her head into the room. “Are you okay?”

Villanelle nods. “Yes. Just wore out. I lost a lot of blood yesterday.” That was just yesterday morning. Eve was in Villanelle’s bed and Villanelle was so happy.

“I imagine a stab wound would cause that.”

Villanelle snorts. “Yeah, do you want to find out?”

“No, thanks. I imagine I’m going to hear all about it from Eve.” Elena starts to leave the room.

Villanelle stops her. “Elena?”

“What?”

“Will you make sure she’s okay? I know you can’t talk about me but…”

“You didn’t have…”

Villanelle shakes her head and pushes off the water dispenser. “I just want her to be okay.”

“Jesus, you really do like her. Are you sure you’re a psychopath?” Elena smiles.

“Piss off.” Then she slides her hands into her pockets. “Do you think I’m good to leave the office today?”

“Oh yeah. As soon as Carolyn leaves we’re kinda free to do whatever we want as long as all of our paperwork is finished. Since it’s your first day… well you get off easy. Just please don’t… kill anyone?”

“My killing permit got revoked,” Villanelle replies.

Elena laughs and leaves Villanelle alone.

* * *

****

Villanelle stands outside an odd fashion shop. She waits for the one cashier and owner to catch her eye. When he does, he immediately kicks out the few people browsing and flips the sign to closed. He points up and Villanelle smiles. She walks around the building and climbs up the stairs. In her pocket, a small knife rests and she grips it as she waits for the door open. When the door swings open she grips the pink puffer vest of the man and pins him to the door, holding the knife to his throat.

“Villanelle! How lovely to see you!” He squeezes out.

“Why were you talking to her?” She pushes the knife tighter.

“Who?”

A bead of blood dribbles on the knife.

“I didn’t know it was her! I promise!” He yells out.

Villanelle shakes her head but lets him go. “I don’t believe you Sean so you have five minutes to explain or I tip MI6 off about someone hiring an assassin to get rid of the rich Baxters.” She perches herself on his desk pushing off bolts off fabrics.

“V, those are chiffon! Be a bitch to me but those are going to be snagged now.”

She stares at him and twirls the knife in her fingers.

“Fine, but I’m spending the first two minutes getting myself a drink. Do you want one?”

“Do you have Louis Roederer?”

“Of course, babe, I never know when you are going to visit.”

He pours two glasses of the expensive champagne and sits down on the leather couch. Villanelle hops off and gets distracted by a lavender blazer with velvet black lapels. “I want this when it’s finished.”

“You know? Your girlfriend was looking at that same blazer. She must have known you would like it. The bottoms are the same lavender except a black velvet strips going down the sides. Same measurements?”

“We can take new ones after you tell me about how you know my girlfriend.” Villanelle sits down beside Sean.

“There’s not much to tell. She looked pathetic alone on the Eurostar. All frantic and wide eyed. Looked like an opportunity to me. So I offered drugs, which she refused so put that damn knife away-Which! How am I supposed to explain this?” He gestures to the cut on his neck.

“You were having freaky sex.” Villanelle shrugs.

Sean laughs and flips Villanelle off. “As far as I know. You are the one being freaky in the sheets. I had to replace my couch and bed after I came back here to a room full of naked women. Eight! It was like a nightmare come true. God, my parents would have been so proud, though,” he adds the last part with a sigh.

“Back on topic, Sean.”

“So she refused the drugs but I noticed the blood under her nails and wanted to find out what that was about because she obviously wasn’t an assassin like you. So I told her if I could get someone else to buy my drugs then she owed me a story. She told me about how she started chasing this assassin and the assassin killed her best friend, broke into her house, and then killed one of her assets. Then she located this assassin in Paris and stabbed her. I had no clue that she was  _ Love _ or that the assassin was you until she gave me the name of the assassin. Then I gave her a ride home.”

“Why was Eve in your apartment?”

“Do you see those boxes?” Sean points at the boxes to the left of the couch. “She’s living with me.”

Villanelle laughs. “No.”

“Her husband kicked her out and wants a divorce. She called me and asked if she could crash here.”

Villanelle leans forward and refills her glass. “And you just agreed?”

“She thinks you’re dead, V.”

“She can’t know I’m in London.”

“Why not?”

“I… I’m working for MI6.”

Sean bursts out laughing. “And I hate cock.”

“I’m serious. They have me in a safe house and everything.  _ I’m _ not allowed to kill people.”

“Oh dear.” Sean stands up. “What are you to do?”

“I know.” Villanelle follows him. 

He sits down his glass of champagne. “Well, get naked, babe.”

Villanelle undresses and lets Sean begin taking her measurements. He stops over the bandage. “Do you want to see it?”

“No, and if you have been asking people that, you need to stop. No one wants to see it.”

Villanelle frowns and mumbles, “Eve would want to see it.”

“God, if she’s your soulmate maybe I should kick her out for  _ my _ safety.”

“Shut up, she’s amazing.”

“She stabbed you!” Sean stands up, a few inches taller than Villanelle. He shakes his head at Villanelle’s frown. “She’s cute.”

“I know.” Villanelle lights up. “I told you.”

“Have you seen her husband?”

Villanelle groans. “That mustache.”

“Just the worst.” Sean agrees. He wraps the measuring tape around Villanelle’s throat.

Villanelle grabs it, yanks it away from Sean. It drops to the floor and she grabs the second one around his neck and tightens it so it’s choking him. “If Eve does any drugs here, or you bring her to your little ‘Land of Lost Dreams’ and she gets hurt, I will come back here and kill you, okay?”

Sean nods and Villanelle loosens the measuring tape. She bends over and picks up the one she dropped. He takes it from her and shakes his head. “And you wonder why I’m your only friend, you little psychopath.”

* * *

****

Elena is already at the cafe they had met at before Russia. It seemed like a life time time ago. Eve’s dressed in a simple outfit, jeans and a white v-neck, yet she feels weird not wearing a jacket over the shirt or maybe it’s the heeled ankle boots. Sean dressed her saying if she was living with him then she had to at least not dress like she’s trying to crawl into her clothes and hide. Elena whistles as Eve slides in the seat across from her.

“You go to Russia and learned to dress yourself?” Elena asks with a smile. 

“I… made a friend I guess.”

“A friend? Is he hot?”

Eve laughs. “He’s gay.”

“Hey, just because someone knows how to dress doesn’t mean they’re gay.”

“No, but saying you are does,” Eve laughs then drops her smile. “Have you been briefed on Russia?”

“Yeah, dead asset, MIA assassin, no leads on the twelve. It sounds like everything went great.” Elena says.

“Yeah, if that had been our plan.” Eve runs her hand through her hair. “Carolyn met with Villanelle.”

“What?” Elena exclaims. “You’re kidding me?”

“Not at all. Villanelle had told me she was in the prison in a… well you know, so me and Kenny went through the camera footage till we found her being brought into the visitation room. Carolyn was in there talking to her for damn near 10 minutes. I don’t have a clue what about.”

“Well… have you seen Villanelle since to ask her?”

Eve freezes and fiddles with her hands.

“Eve what did you do?”

“I think I killed her.”

“What?”

“I stabbed her. With a knife. In the stomach. Where her organs are.” Eve’s hands are shaking and Elena reaches forward to grab Eve’s hand.

“Where at?”

“Paris.”

“I’ll head back to the office and I’ll look for any bodies found in Paris matching Villanelle.”

“She wasn’t in my dream last night,” Eve whispers.

“That doesn’t mean anything, don’t like weeks happen between those?”

“They were happening everyday or every other day since the Kedrin case.”

“So maybe this is an every other day case? She’ll  probably be there tonight and will be making you look at the wound.”

Eve doesn’t answer and stares at her hands. All the blood is gone but she can still feel it. The warmth. Warmer than she expected. There was also more than she expected. Initially there had been a thrill of taking control. Of knowing the person’s life was up to her. Then she realized it was Villanelle under her and she whispered I love you and it sounded so broke. Eve didn’t feel guilty that she stabbed someone. She felt guilty that it had been Villanelle.

* * *

****

Eve makes her way back to the apartment, Elena wanting to get back to the office and run a check for any bodies. Loud music is blaring from the speakers when she lets herself in. Sean is walking around the apartment in orange tiger striped boxer briefs and has two measuring tapes around his neck. He waves at Eve and then sits at his sewing machine. 

Eve walks over the speaker and pauses it.

“Oi! What the hell, Eve!” Sean yells. “If you live here you never turn off Lana!”

“I want to go clubbing,” she replies.

“What?” He finishes the seam and stands up.

“What happened to your neck?” There’s a cut where his jaw and neck meet.

“Shaving,” Sean says without missing a beat. “Why do you want to go to a club?”

Eve shrugs. “Why not?”

Sean puts his head in his hand. “I do not have time to be dealing with a bisexual woman’s mid life crisis,” he mumbles to himself. Then looks up at Eve. “Sure, why not?” He repeats. “You can’t wear that, though.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Eve, darling, I’m going to run downstairs and grab a perfect outfit for you.”

* * *

****

Two hours later, Eve is stepping out of an uber wearing black high waisted distressed jeans with gold heels that match the gold short sleeved satin blouse she had on. Only the first button up from her jeans is done, exposing a black bra with an intricate pattern over her chest. She looked sexy. Sean steps out on the other side of the cab wearing a black see through button up with gold leggings and black combat boots. He is wearing thick black eyeliner with gold eyeshadow while he did Eve’s eyeliner in gold with black eye shadow.

He crosses behind the cab and hooks his elbow with Eve. They walk down an alley beside a warehouse and he pulls her toward a random door. When they walk in Eve’s bombarded with electronic music and dozens of sweaty bodies. Before going into the dancefloor there’s a bouncer. Sean pulls up his sleeve and the bouncer flashes a light on Sean’s left wrist. A white O glows under the black light. Then the bouncer looks expectantly at Eve.

“Hold out your wrist love!” Sean shouts over the music.

She lifts her left wrist up and the bouncer runs the light over it, a light pink V glowing under the black light. He nods and drops her wrist, moving to let them in. 

“What the hell was that?”

“You’re a dreamer, Eve! This place is only for our type.”

“So that black light and-”

“It’s the first letter of your soulmate’s name. Not many people know about the blacklight trick because we don’t want the government to know about it. They’d start implementing it in schools and putting it on our records. A big ole ‘unhireable’ red stamp.” Sean jumps up on an empty table and raises his arms to side. “Welcome to The Land of Lost Dreams!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmu on tumblr @theworldandyourself or on insta @jordan.closson


	21. But now that you're dead it hurts

Purple and pink strobe lights flash on and off. Sweat, alcohol, and marijuana reek in the club. A gin and tonic glows in front of Eve. She traces her fingers over the pink V on her wrist. Sean's pissed off to dancing on some table with two other men wearing a lot less clothes than appropriate. Every now and then he makes eye contact with Eve and waits till she nods before going back to dancing.

"You're looking at that like it's your first time seeing it," a woman says beside Eve.

Eve turns and can't help but checking her out. A leather bra showing off taut abs and a tattoo of rose branches that travels under leather leggings. She's tall, blonde, and has large hazel eyes that catch Eve checking her out. The woman smirks and Eve blushes. "I… yeah. Is it that obvious?"

"A little, yeah. I'm Leah." She holds a hand out to Eve.

Eve looks at the hand resting against the bar, a green J on the inside of it. "I'm Eve." She takes her hand.

"You came in with Sean," Leah states.

"Is that a bad thing?" 

"No, Sean is one of the good ones."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eve asks and grabs her drink.

"You've got a lot to learn, first-timer," Leah steals Eve's drink and finishes it, "but right now I think you should come dance with me."

"I don't…" Eve shakes her head. "Yeah, let's dance. But I might be terrible and you are not allowed to make fun of me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Leah says and laughs. She grabs Eve's hand and leads her deeper into the club.

Eventually she presses her front into Eve's back and places her hands on Eve's hips. They sway to the beat until eventually the swaying is grinding like teenagers at their first house party. Eve closes her eyes and tries to lose herself. It could be Villanelle. Villanelle’s fingers dancing on her hips. Villanelle hand moving Eve’s hair to press her lips behind Eve’s ear. Villanelle’s hips pressing just above Eve’s ass. Eve leans her head back to give Villanelle more room to kiss her-

“Do you want to get out of here?” It’s not Villanelle though. 

Eve turns around and pushes Leah away. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” She slides through the bodies. They part for her this time and Eve wonders if they can just sense that she’s stabbed someone. 

When the London air hits her she makes it all of five steps away from the door before throwing up. It burns her throat like knives slicing her esophagus. That’s not a good analogy for her to make in her head and she throws up again. One hand is against the graffitied wall and she wipes her mouth with the back of the other hand. People laugh and walk past her, this being a common sight outside of the club. 

“Eve? You out here?” Sean calls. “Oh, shit.”

A hand presses to Eve’s back until she stands up, tears streaming down her face.

Sean pulls Eve against him. “She’s going to be okay, I promise.” Then he pushes Eve away from him. “I think you’ve had enough clubbing for tonight. I want to take you somewhere.”

* * *

 

Villanelle sits at a round poker table, taking the money of everyone else at the table. She’s gotten it down to one last player who’s about to leave because he’s trying to get Villanelle to fold, but keeps thumbing the edge of his peacoat letting her know he’s lying. They begin the final round of betting and he goes all in. Villanelle matches and flips her cards. She’s got two pairs, queens and 3’s. While the man flips over his cards, her fingers drum against the table. Ace high. Villanelle laughs and reaches forward to grab the 6 tenners. She’s a thousand pounds richer after tonight.

“Alright,” Konstantin laughs, “I’m sure you aren’t here to steal all my money. I’ll go grab us each a pint, you find us a booth.”

Villanelle nods and stands up. She winces when she stretches, the wound being pulled on. After fixing her sweater, she makes her way to the booth in the corner of the pub and falls down in to it. She shoves one of her knees against her chest and the table digs into her calf. 

Konstanin laughs and jokes with the bartender who points at Villanelle and makes hand gestures. Then he drops a few bills into the tip jar and takes the pints. He raises an eyebrow as he slides into the seat. “These are on the house because apparently Samantha is happy to see V is back in town.”

“Yeah, I hung out at this place a lot when you had me here for that one job.”

“The Baxters”

Villanelle shrugs, “Sure.” She reaches forward and grabs her pint.

“You lived here after that for almost two years and never made contact with Eve? Just returned to your Paris flat and acted like London never happened.”

“I didn’t know who Eve was. I thought she was American. Plus, she’d probably die before coming to this part of the city.”

Konstantin’s eyes travel to the front door. “Well, apparently Eve Polastri died.”

Villanelle jerks to her left and looks at the pair walking into the pub. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

    Konstantin's hand shoots out and grabs Villanelle's wrist.

Eve walks in beside Sean. Mascara is smeared on her face, and her hair is pulled up in a frantic bun. Besides that she looked good. Villanelle assumes Sean dressed her. Her eyes land on him and his go wide. He latches on to Eve’s hand and spins her around. He gestures to her face and points to the bathroom. Eve nods and turns right, completely avoiding Villanelle and Konstantin. Sean speed walks over to them.

“I told her to clean up her makeup. You need to leave.”

“Why are you bringing her here, Sean?” Villanelle jumps up and shoves him. 

“I thought she could use some family time. You considered everyone here family until you just pissed off.”

“I…” she looks back at an impatient Konstantin, “My job comes first.”

Sean dryly laughs and shakes his head. “Get out of here. I’ll tell Manny to not mention you to anyone.”

“One drink and then you have her home and in bed. Okay?”

“Sure.” He crosses his arms and rolls his eyes.

Villanelle pushes past him.

“Don’t forget V. Not everyone is going to be happy to see you’re back in London," Sean calls out behind her.

Villanelle keeps walking and slams the pub door. A few seconds later Konstantin walks out behind her. The door handle snaps under her finger and she keeps snapping it until Konstantin unlocks his car. He has to yell at her to stop so her door will actually unlock.

When they’re in the car he doesn’t start it right away. “Villanelle, what happened in London?”

“Nothing.” Villanelle crosses her arms and slides down in the car. “How’s boss lady?”

“She’s fine. Did you know Eve saw camera footage of you and Carolyn in the prison?”

She turns to Konstantin. “No, I had no clue. What is Carolyn going to tell Eve?”

“That she didn’t know it was you. Vlad had told her she could meet with the person who killed Nadia and then when she got there and saw it was you, she asked about the twelve and you just kept making smart remarks.”

“If I have a dream with Eve, what am I supposed to tell her?”

“You tell her you don’t even know Carolyn’s name. You were just being a little shit the entire time.”

Villanelle snorts. “Alright.”

* * *

 

Eve walks, hungover and late, into the office Carolyn sent her the address to. Another night without Villanelle, and a nightmare of a knife in her stomach. Elena is the first person who catches her eyes and jumps up. She wraps her arms around Eve and leans next to her ear.

“Check your email, asap,” she whispers then pulls away. 

Elena introduces Eve to Hugo and Jess. Hugo is an annoying elitist flirt, and Jess is witty and clever. Kenny nods an uncomfortable hello to Eve, but doesn’t talk much. They start to brief her on the Peel case. Try to.

“Shouldn’t we be focused on Villanelle and the Twelve?” Eve interrupts Kenny as he talks about how over 6 people connected to Peel have died.

An uncomfortable silence falls over everyone. Jess speaks up. “The Villanelle case is temporarily closed. Since the asset was killed in Russia, there hasn’t been any killings pointing toward her and we are under the belief the Twelve retired her.”

“Retired her?” Eve asks.

“Had her put down like a bad dog,” Hugo clarifies. 

    Jess takes the conversation back over. “Elena had been bored while you were in Russia and found where we believed Villanelle to be living. Yesterday we sent an MI6 special forces team to check it out and the place was wiped clean. Well, except a dried puddle of blood on the floor.”

   “The flat was empty?”

   “Yes? Elena emailed you the pictures.”

    “Oh.” Eve looks down at her hands and doesn’t say anything else.

    Kenny carries on with his briefing. He’s awkward and blunt. It’s one of the worst briefings Eve has sat through, but she’s barely even there. The dried blood would be from Eve stabbing Villanelle but the empty flat had to have been the Twelve. They were there to kill Villanelle and Eve made her weak and an easy kill. If Eve hadn’t killed Villanelle they surely did.

    “Eve, are you okay?”

     Elena stands in front of Eve. Everyone’s gotten up and gone back to their own desk, but they watch Eve. Eve nods and stands up. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about the case.”

     She walks past Elena and sits down at her new desk. She starts her computer and logs in to her email to see the pictures Elena, except there are two emails from Elena. One labeled Pictures of Paris Flat and the other is Did you see this funny article. Eve opens the second one.

    It’s a police report about a robbery of a Parisian convenience store. The suspect was described to have a stomach wound, blonde, tall, slim but fit, around mid twenties. She stole a lighter, knife, rubbing alcohol, vodka, and a Vogue magazine. The items are believed to have been used to close the wound. Eve smiles to herself. Villanelle is a survivor.

    “Can I have a word with you Eve?” Carolyn steps into the office and stares at Eve.

    Eve exits out of her email and nods. She follows Carolyn to the hallway.

    “So?”

    “What?” Eve asks.

    “Got any ideas about this new assassin?”

    “I… shouldn’t we be worried about the Twelve?” Eve asks.

    “This could be the Twelve.”

    “I don’t think so. It’s too… boring. If this was the Twelve they would have just killed Aaron and Amber too. Not all these side people.”

    “One of the employees?”

    “No. Probably a hired assassin. Someone that can blend in though. Can we meet with the kids?”

    “I should be able to schedule a meeting,” Carolyn says with a small smile. “Between you and me, I want you to also keep tabs on anything you think could be the Twelve.”

    “Villanelle’s dead, though.”

    “I doubt that, that’s girl entirely too stubborn.”

    “Yeah, you would know.” Eve laughs. “What were you and her talking about in prison?”

    “Nothing. Vlad simply got me a meeting with Nadia’s killer. I didn’t know it was Oksana till I met her. She ignored every offer I gave her and just kept asking for you. So tell me Eve, why are you and Villanelle so interested in each other?”

    Eve doesn’t answer.

    Carolyn nods. “Don’t try to play a game you aren’t ready for Eve,” she warns. “I want this Peel case wrapped up as quickly as possible.”

    “Okay, I’ll go get on it.” Eve walks back into the office.

* * *

 

    A week passes before Villanelle sees Eve again. She’s walking into the office because Carolyn called her in when Eve is walking out of the bathroom. Eve turns away and doesn’t notice Villanelle standing in the hallway gaping. Villanelle walks ten paces behind Eve, timing their shoes to click on the floor at the exact same time. Eve turns right into the office and Villanelle turns left into Carolyn’s office.

    “Good morning, Villanelle,” Carolyn greets and doesn’t look up from her computer.

    “I thought Eve was supposed to have today off?” Villanelle asks and slides into a chair.

    “She’s taking this assassin very seriously. Even gave her a nickname. The Ghost.” Carolyn finally looks away from the computer. “You look tired.”

    Villanelle runs her fingers across her eye bags. “Why did you call me in?

    “This last week you’ve proven to be on good behavior so we have a job for you.”

    “A job?”

    “A simple case. You are to go to a club in Brighton. This club is believed to be a front for a sex trafficking buisness. We’ll have a team sent with you to record your conversations, but we need you to get in good with the owner of the club and get proof that there is illegal activity.”

    “That sounds boring.” Villanelle leans back in the chair but at the mention of a club in Brighton her heart picks up.

    “Eve will be on the team that listens to your conversation.”

    “How?”

    “She’ll never meet with you. Just informed of a field agent named Laura going into the club. Everything is explained in an email I sent you.”

    Red tape means Villanelle isn’t killing anyone. “I will definitely read that Boss.”

    “If you do this right you’ll be getting jobs more often. More opportunities to work with Ms. Song.”

    “Ms. Song?”

    “Yes, she’s switched her name back as she’s in the middle of divorce.” Carolyn frowns. “Messy things. You’re lucky you will never be able to make the mistake of getting in one.”

    “Yeah.” Villanelle rolls her eyes and stands up. “That’s the best part of being legally dead,” she says sarcastically before leaving the office. Villanelle looks through the glass of the office door at Eve. Her hair’s up in a messy bun and every so often she tries to run a hand through it. When she stands up, Villanelle turns and walks away. She pulls out her phone and dials the number Sean gave her after taking her measurements.

    “This is Sean,” he answers.

    “Can we meet at LD’s?” Villanelle asks.

    “They aren’t open this early.”

    “I know.”

    “What are you up to, V?”

    “I just want to talk.”

    “Why can’t we talk at my place?”

    Villanelle walks outside and makes her way to her cherry red sport bike parked beside the road. “Eve could come home at anytime.”

    “I like her better than you and you’re hurting her, so why should I meet with you?”

    “Just meet me in half an hour and I won’t stab you when I get there.”

    “You aren’t allowed to stab me. You’re the law now.”

    “It has been almost two weeks since I’ve maimed anything. I would not push your luck.” She sits on her bike and waits to put her helmet on.

    Sean laughs. “I’ll see you in half an hour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not where I planned to take this.... I planned on having Villanelle and Sean know each other but... hmmmm… I like where this is going. Honestly this is taking me for a ride with you guys lmao. Also typos... I don't proofread because it bores me


	22. If I could face them

    Eve is wore out. It’s been officially a week since Paris. No dreams with Villanelle and no leads. Sean takes her to the same pub every night. She learns that him and Samantha, who goes by Manny, are close friends. Samantha is kind and extroverted. She was kicked out of her house at 15 when her parents found out she was a dreamer and she lived on the street until the owners of the bar gave her a job and let her crash with them. Only 19 years old and seemed as old as Eve if not older. She didn’t talk about her soulmate that got her kicked out and Sean informed Eve of the situation. When her soulmate revealed to his parents that he was a dreamer that sent him to a therapy center to fix it and he killed himself at the center.

    Eve also meets a man named Octavius and remembers the white O on Sean’s wrist. Octavius hugs Eve and treats her like he’s known her forever. He reveals himself to be one of the owner’s of the pub. His husband being the other owner and Eve looks at Sean with pity, but Sean never notices, completely focused on Octavius. He promises to bring his husband in when he gets back from a trip to Brighton.

   There are others that just hang out at the pub that say hi to Sean and Eve, and pull Eve into the little family. It’s obvious that this is a very don’t ask, don’t tell sort of place. People walk in bruised and bloody and go straight to the back room. Sean meets with someone and then that night he’s loading a box of drugs into the back of Prius. No one asks who Eve’s work for or about her soulmate.

   Eve stayed at the pub until 2 in the morning last night. She probably would have stayed later but Carolyn had informed her she needed to come into work on a Saturday. Now, as her head throbs while she stares at the latest dead body, she regrets staying till 2 am. She goes to run a hand through her hair forgetting it’s pulled up and gets agitated. Carolyn still hadn’t got that meeting with the Peel siblings.

    “Eve,” Carolyn’s voice echoes in the office. “Can you join me in my office?” The door closes.

    “Uh oh, someone’s in trouble,” Hugo says from his desk. He’s the only other person in the office.

    “Why are you even here?”

   He presses a hand to his chest. “You say that like you don’t enjoy my presence.”

    “That’s because I don’t,” Eve says and slips out of their office and across the hallway to Carolyn’s office.

    “How are you feeling Eve?”

    “I’m fine, why?” Eve sits across from Carolyn.

    “We need you in Brighton tomorrow night.”

    “Excuse me?”

    “Remember the sex trafficking case Elena’s been looking into? There’s been a break in it and we need you to communicate with a field agent as she walks through the club.”

    “Why can’t Elena do it?”

    “Elena is needed here.”

    “I have the Peel case.”

    “Yes, but you need that meeting with the kids to continue, you said so yourself. It’s scheduled for Tuesday which means tomorrow is unimportant to you.”

    Eve rolls her eyes. “Fine. When do I meet with the field agent?”

    “You don't."

    "What?"

    "You'll check into a hotel across the club she's investigating. All of your equipment will already be tuned and at 12:30 in the morning, she'll check in to make sure you two can hear each other before entering the club."

    Eve scrunches her brows. "Can I get a name?"

    "Laura. I'm sorry it has to be like this, but privacy is very important to our field agents. We never know when they'll be need to investigate our own offices."

    "Oh! Yeah, that makes sense," Eve agrees. "I'm not… trying to sound like a prick or anything. I just had a late night. New roommate and all." 

    "Ahh, yes. How is that going?" Carolyn tries to make small talk.

    "It's good. Nice to have people not involved in all of this craziness." 

    "Yes, well, everyone has their own messes." Carolyn then stands up. "Speaking of messes. I remember I have to meet with my own bosses. Elena should be emailing the file about the case and what we are looking for tomorrow night." She holds the door open for Eve and then locks it behind her when they're both out.

* * *

 

 

    Villanelle sits on steps in front of Land of Lost Dreams and waits for Sean. She pulls out her phone and reads over the file to make sure her panic is well deserved. When she sees the highlighted club name, _CyberSleep_ , her heart stops for a moment. This was not good news for her. She actually reads over the file and is almost done with it when a car pulls up next to her bike. She puts her phone away and stands up to greet Sean.

    He stares at her when she opens her arms for a hug. 

    She drops her arms. 

    "What do you want, V?"

    "Let's walk?" She asks and turns without an answer. Sean catches up to her and they walk down the alley. "You're angry with me."

    "Yeah, well I wasn't expecting you to actually stay in town."

    "I work for MI6. I don't have a choice."

    "You aren't one to be controlled, babe. So why haven't you told them to piss off?"

    Villanelle looks down and picks at a hangnail. "They'll use Eve. Torture her to get information about me."

    "Holy shit." He stops. "Are you serious?"

    Villanelle nods. "How is she?"

    "Oh, she's doing terrible. I think she's genuinely starting to believe your dead. You two better have a dream soon or I'm telling her."

    "No, you aren't. One of my rules is Eve can't know I'm here. How is she besides me?"

    "Octavius and Manny love her. They don't have clue it's your _Love._ Harry hasn't met her yet. He's been in Brighton taking care of things with his brother."

    "So Charlie's still running that club down there?" Villanelle asks and kicks rocks. "Even after I put him in the hospital?"

    "Yeah, his face is still all fucked though. You broke his jaw, nose, and orbit. Fucker's blind in his left eye now."

    "Yeah well, don't show off that you're selling women," Villanelle says and shrugs. "Is he still doing that?"

    "No. Just moves drugs now. Has a crew and everything though. I wouldn't show your face down there."

    "Harold mad at me?"

    "He understands why you did it. He's the only one still in touch with Charlie and that's just because their brothers."

    A tension filled silence falls between them. They make it to the end of the alley which stops with a pipe railing and looks over a canal. Villanelle knew of six bodies she's thrown over this exact railing with cinderblock tied to their feet. 

    "Eliza didn't make it," Sean breaks the silence.

    "I know." Villanelle replies. Her hands wrap around the highest bar and squeezes till her knuckles are white. 

    "Nobody blames you for that."

    Villanelle doesn't respond. There were few times death bothered her. But when she found out seventeen year old Eliza James died due to internal bleeding… Konstantin didn't ask questions when she informed him she was living in Paris again. Instead he came over and finally watched a movie with her then left without a word. She knew that while he didn't know, he still knew.

    Sean sits a hand on Villanelle's. "When all this stuff with Eve is figured out… you should come to the pub. We all miss you, babe."

    Villanelle pulls away. "Tell Harry to be out of Brighton by tomorrow night."

    "Villanelle… why?"

    "Is my suit done?" She asks and starts walking away.

    "Yeah, sure, but that doesn't answer my question."

    She stops and turns around. "Charlie's still sex trafficking, he's using CyberSleep as a front."

    Sean's eyes go wide. "Villanelle. Harry's part owner of CyberSleep, now. He would know if that was going on."

    "Then don't tell him I'm coming. MI6 is having me infiltrate the club and get evidence."

    "They'll recognize you instantly, babe."

    "Exactly. I'm going to be wired."

    "They'll beat the shit out of you-"

    "Resulting in MI6 instantly sending a back up team and seizing the place."

    "God, I hate that you're so smart. Drives me insane that you have beauty and brains," Sean groans.

    "This also solves another problem," Villanelle says with a smile.

    "What?"

    "Eve's going to be listening." Villanelle's smile is devilish at this point.

    "She'll hear them call you Villanelle. So you won't get into any trouble with MI6."

    "You're learning, Sean. This is the first real scheme you and me have had since killing your parents."

    "I know. My life would be so much easier if they had just sent a different assassin."

    Villanelle slaps his shoulder. "You love me."

    Sean feigns pain and this his phone starts ringing. He holds it up and shows Villanelle. "It's your girlfriend." Then he answers. "Hello, _Love_ … yes, I can pick you up from work… it's going to be a little bit though because I met with a friend… No! I was not dealing drugs!... I'll be there soon."

    "You have a baby sitter?" Villanelle asks.

    "Yes, apparently psychopathic tendencies is okay with Eve but dealing drugs is where she draws the line. Now, I'm not giving you the suit until you get back from Brighton because I don't want you wearing it and getting blood on it." Sean opens his car door. "I missed you babe."

    Villanelle picks up her helmet and rubs her thumb against the bottom of it before looking up at Sean. "Yeah, I missed you too."

* * *

 

 

    There’s blood on Eves hands again. That’s been a reoccurring theme in her dreams since Paris. This is the first time she’s actually been in the Parisian flat in a dream. She doesn’t bother to go the bathroom, knowing water wouldn’t wash the blood off. Instead she steps over  broken shards of champagne bottles and goes to the bedroom. Her eyes fall the still wet smeared blood. Eve shakes her head and walks around it to the left side of the bed. She lays down on her back and lets her eyes drift shut. Her index finger runs along where she knows the V is on her wrist. Why a V instead of an O? Did Villanelle have an E and an A? 

    “Eve, this outfit is disgusting.”

    Eve’s eyes fly open and she jerks up. Villanelle is standing in the doorway, poking at the blood stained hole in her shirt. She looks up and smirks when she noticed Eve’s open mouth.

    “Hey there,” Villanelle says and drops her shirt back down.

    “Hi,” Eve manages to choke out. 

    “I’m going to come lay on the bed beside you. Please don’t stab me this time.” Villanelle steps over the blood and starts to crawl on the bed. She lays on her side and mirrors the last time.

    Eve lays on her side. She raises her hand and runs a hand along Villanelle’s faded yellow bruised jaw. Villanelle turns her head and kisses it, bringing her hand up to intertwine their fingers.

    “I’m sor-”

    “Don’t apologize,” Villanelle interrupts. “You wanted to do it.”

    Eve doesn’t respond. Villanelle’s right. In the moment Eve wanted to do it. “How do you do that?”

    “Do what?”

    “Know exactly what’s going on in my brain when I don’t.”

    Villanelle chuckles. “Because we are the same.”

    Eve doesn’t know if that’s exactly right. “I’m not a…”

    “A psychopath?” Villanelle finishes. “Am I, Eve?”

    Eve thinks about it. Villanelle definitely had the charm, lack of empathy, and manipulativeness, but she formed connections with people. Tears in her eyes when she shot Konstantin, in dreams about her family or Anna, when Eve stabbed her. “Where are you?”

    She clicks her tongue. “I’m not going to change my rules just because you _penetrated_ me.”

    Eve rolls her eyes and smiles. She’s just so glad to see Villanelle again and that Villanelle doesn’t hate her. 

    “Why are you looking at me like that?” Villanelle raises an eyebrow.

    “I’m just looking at you.”

    Villanelle shakes her head and sits up. “Do you want to see the wound?”

    “Yes,” Eve answers and sits up.

    Villanelle lights up and throws her shirt off. She teases her fingers at the edge of the bandage and watches as Eve’s eyes widen with anticipation. Then she pulls it off. It’s swollen, wet, and a pinkish red. There’s bruising around it from the force of Eve stabbing her. Eve’s eyes shine with awe and not disgust. “I cauterized it,” Villanelle boasts.

    “I know.” Eve picks up a hand and traces the bruising.

    Villanelle lets out a low moan as soon as Eve's fingers touch the edge of the bruising. "You knew I was alive?"

    "I knew you robbed a convenience store for a lighter and a knife. It wasn't hard to figure out what for. MI6 thinks the Twelve retired you."

    "Why's that?" Villanelle says. 

    Eve touches the edge of the burn, still somewhat sticky, and Villanelle's eyes flutter shut. Her hand shoots to grab Eve's wrist. Eve speaks slowly as Villanelle moves her hand up to her face. "Elena found out where you lived. They sent a team to recover…" she stutters as Villanelle slides two Eve's fingers into her mouth. Villanelle opens her eyes and without words tells Eve to continue. "Recover you and uh," Villanelle takes Eve's hand and places it at the waistband of her pants. "You're apartment was empty and there was a bunch of dried blood." Eve watches as Villanelle undoes the button if her jeans and then grabs Eve's hand again. They groan in unison when Eve slides through slick wet heat.

    "You didn't tell them that…" she trails off with a whimper when Eve slides a single finger into her. "You crawled into my bed and- Fuck, Eve- and stabbed-"

    "Can you stop talking for once?" Eve slips in another finger to join the first and reaches up with her free hand to pull Villanelle closer.

    Villanelle nods when their heads are pressed together. She leans in and kisses Eve for a few minutes until Eve curls her fingers just right. She gasps and moves her head to Eve's neck. Her hips grind down on to Eve's fingers. Eve knows by Villanelle's whines and higher pitched moans that she's getting close.

    "More, please. Please, Eve. I'm so close," Villanelle begs and her hands grasp the front of Eve's shirt. She's moved so she's on her knees, practically fucking herself on Eve's fingers

    Instead of sliding another finger in, Eve says, "You're mine," but it comes out, "I love you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a three parter of chapters cuz the next one is going to be some back story


	23. If I could make amends with all my shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty dark, warnings for drugs, violence, and human trafficking. This chapter is also skippable if you don't want to read that... I will put a summary at the end

Two years ago

****

    "You're going to London for a job," Konstantin says.

    Villanelle is laying on her couch in Paris, a flat screen TV and PS4 sitting on her coffee table. She's playing Grand Theft Auto and just driving on the sidewalk watching the bodies slide under the car. It's been nearly a year since she's had a dream with Love and she doesn't bother to go out and have sex or party or anything when she isn't working. Just lays around and thinks about Love. "Cool," Villanelle says and doesn't look up from the TV.

    The TV is knocked over and Villanelle jumps up. She grabs her pistol from beside the PS4 and points it at Konstantin. "What the fuck, Konstantin?"

    He slaps the gun out of his face. "Take a shower. Your train leaves in two hours. You are to meet with a Sean Baxter at a club called the Land of Lost Dreams." 

    " _Wow_ , sounds so fun. Why aren't you meeting with him?" Villanelle picks up her teeth. When she notices it's broke she throws it back on the ground with a frown.

    "Because he seemed like someone you would have fun with. I'm being nice, Villanelle."

    "Don't, it's weird. What's the pay?"

    "Really good."

    "What's really good?"

    "Millions."

    Villanelle's eyes light for the first time in months. "No way."

    "Yes, way." Konstantin laughs and smiles. "I told you it will be fun. Now go shower," Konstantin says and sets an envelope down on the coffee table. He watches with a smile as Villanelle bounces towards her shower. It's the first time he's seen her excited in a long time.

* * *

****

    A shoulder slams into her as she waits out the worn down warehouse. She bites on her bottom lip and metallic liquid spills in mouth. Villanelle's dressed in an Armani crepon top, with a Fuzz Not Fur snow knight coat over it and she doesn't want blood staining the white coat. 

    "Well aren't you just fancy?" says a scottish man strutting up to Villanelle. His heels on his thigh high boots are taller than Villanelle. There's a strip of skin revealed and then leather shorts that barely cover anything. Then there isn't another piece of clothing on the man's body. His hair is jet black and falls forward when he bows in front of Villanelle. "Sean Baxter at your service."

    Villanelle's eyes widen. This was the man she was supposed to meeting for a several million dollar assassination. "I'm the uh..."

    "You're going to come get drunk with me. We'll worry about business tomorrow morning. I need two lines of cocaine and I needed them yesterday, come on darling,” Sean says and waves his hand, keeping it out for her to take.

    She stands frozen in place for a second with mental whiplash, then laughs and follows him. “I’m Villanelle.” She wraps her hand in his.

    He glances at her. “Do you have a soulmate?”

    “What?”

    He pulls open the door. “Nevermind, we’ll get our answer soon enough.”  

    The pair stride up to a bouncer. Sean holds up his arm and the bouncer flashes light over his wrist. Then Sean grabs Villanelle’s wrist and holds it up to the bouncer. When the light goes over a dark E shines. She steals her arm back and rubs at her wrist. Sean pulls her past the bouncer and into the club.

    “What the hell was that?” Villanelle asks.

    “Your soulmates first letter of their name?”

    “What?”

    “This is a dreamer only club, babe. Meaning, you’re a dreamer.”

    Villanelle pauses. So her and Love were still soulmates. She brings a hand up and rubs her neck. The club isn’t very big, just the first floor of the warehouse. People are jam packed in though. The place reeks of weed and booze. Love would drop dead before coming to a place like this. No she had a good life probably on the west coast of the US with her husband. This last year has been amazing for her, Villanelle guesses. Not having to worry about her little psychopathic, female, annoying, bitch-

    Her neck stings and she realizes she pinching the nerve. She smells the booze and drugs one more time. Both sound fucking amazing to Villanelle. She just wants to let go and disappear. “Is there anything stronger than coke?”

    Sean laughs and pulls a baggie of pills out of his pocket. “There is always something bigger, better, stronger.”

    There’s sweaty bodies pressing against Villanelle. Touching every inch of Villanelle’s skin. At some point she’s lost her jacket. Every hand that touches her reminds her that’s not Love. The music playing is too loud, too grunge. The man on stage is singing about how he’s going to kill himself because a girl won’t love him. Fog machines make it hard to see in the dark red room. Villanelle digs her hand into the pocket of her pants for another pill. When she dry swallows it her eyes flutter shut.

    Then she’s on stage. The singer-she thinks his name is John- has an arm wrapped around her. It’s heavy. Villanelle leans forward and bounces on her feet. Her mouth is moving and the crowd that’s actually paying attention cheers in agreement to whatever she is saying. Villanelle thinks about how she wants to grab the microphone and shove it through John’s eye for no reason except the simple fact that she could. 

    Tequila burns Villanelle’s throat and the glass bar is cold against her forearms. Sean is giggling and pressing a spliff to her lips. She takes a deep breath and fills her lungs with the smoke. It makes her head light and she thinks she laughs and doesn’t break Sean’s skull open against the edge of the bar. 

    A woman is on stage now. Stares right at Villanelle while she sings about a soulmate who would never love her. A soulmate that married someone else. Villanelle’s shoulders knock into people who take grunge music too seriously. The woman has tears threatening to spill over and Villanelle thinks it’s pathetic. Pathetic caring about someone who doesn’t love you. _I can’t live without you_. They’re generic lyrics. You can live without someone. Villanelle can live without Love.

    The female singer is pinned between Villanelle and the wall. Her hands are cold and slip up Villanelle shirt. Villanelle’s right hand is pressing around the singer’s neck. She could snap it. Strangle her till she dies in this alleyway. Pull her head forward and then smash it backwards against the brick. Just fucking kill her. Hips buck against Villanelle’s left hand and when the woman’s finished, Villanelle storms back into the club, wiping her hand off on a stranger’s back.

   John’s on stage again. It’s his fourth song since getting back on stage. People make it obvious they want Villanelle up there again. They push and shove her and she wants to cut off every hand that touches her. Let them bleed out from their wrists. Her hand is clamped by John’s who yanks her back up on stage. He has her singing about wanting to sleep again. Villanelle’s stumbling over the words but that’s how this music sounds. He rhymes the word air with itself and Villanelle wants to tell him that’s not how rhyming work while she pops his eyes into his brain. A woman in the crowd catches Villanelle’s eye. Brown doe eyes. Dark wild hair. Beautiful slender-

    She’s pushing through the crowd. Shoving people. Love is walking away from Villanelle. It must be a game but Villanelle doesn’t want to play games. She wants her. To touch her. To just-fuck. Villanelle shoves someone to the ground as Love slips out of the club. Her pace quickens, she can’t lose her. Villanelle’s face feels wet and her shoulder slams with the metal door.

    The outside air punches her in the face. Neon lights blind her. Cars honk and her head darts in every direction. She catches Love’s eye and sees her smile. People stare at Villanelle when she takes off sprinting. Villanelle darts into an alley Love turned into. Love’s about halfway down it, keeps glancing back at Villanelle.

    “Love!” Villanelle slurs out and her hand presses hard against her shoulder, making her jerk around.

    Her eyes are wild, frantic. “Why are you following me?” she asks with a cockney accent. Cockney. British. Fuck. God fucking dammit. It’s not Love. Villanelle shoves the woman away from her and slams her hand into the wall to her left. Of course it’s not her. Love doesn’t care about Villanelle.

    “What are you doing, V?” Sean grabs Villanelle’s fist before it connects with the wall again. 

    Villanelle turns and Sean places both hands on each shoulder. Before she realizes it, she’s sobbing.

    “Jesus Christ, they sent me a broken assassin.” He pulls her against him. There’s softness and Villanelle realizes he’s wearing her coat. “Alright, babe, I know a place we can go to get some water in you and then we can crash, alright?”

    She pulls away from him and nods. There’s blood from her knuckles on the coat.

* * *

 

    Half an hour later she’s at a rundown pub. Sean tells her that no one cares who she is here which is code for, there’s probably other assassins here. A burly black man walks out carrying two glasses of water and places them both in front of Villanelle. He introduces himself as Octavius and a little later his husband Harold walks out. Harold’s a scot like Sean, and even has the bright red hair. They’re the owners of the pub.

    Once Villanelle begrudgingly drank both waters, they take her to the back room where a few other people are already asleep on cots. Two to be exact. Young girls, both teenagers. When Villanelle starts to get angry, Octavius says he will explain in the morning. She slaps him before falling down on a cot and passing out for the night. Villanelle dreams of Love that night, at the lake, and she tells her she loves her.

* * *

****

    The next morning around noon, Octavius makes a big breakfast for Villanelle, the two girls, Sean, and Harold. She eats aggressively compared to anyone else. After finishing her second pancake and fifth piece of bacon she realizes the table is silent. She grabs her coffee and swallows down the pancake.

    “The food is amazing,” she compliments then turns to the girls. “I’m Villanelle.”

    “I’m Samantha, though everyone calls me Manny,” the older of the pair speaks.”Tavius and Harry took me in after my parents kicked me out for being a dreamer.”

    “How old are you?” Villanelle asks.

    “17. I cook and do dishes here.” She pushes her glasses up her long nose.

    Villanelle nods then turns to the younger girl. “What’s your name?”

    “Eliza,” she says quietly. “I’m sixteen. My parents used to work with Uncle Sean.”

    “What do they do now?” Villanelle asks not catching the hint.

    Octavius clears his throat. “Do you girls minding getting this cleaned up? We have some business to take care of with our new guest.”

    The girls nod and grab the plates. Villanelle pouts as she watches her unfinished food be taken away. When the kitchen door shuts, she drops her pout and turns to the three men. “We have business? As far as I was told I have business with Sean.”

    “We’re actually waiting for one more. My brother Charlie,” Harold explains.

    Villanelle leans back and puts her feet up on the table. She’s gotten her jacket back from Sean and her hand was wrapped up by Harold before breakfast. “I think we can start talking now, and you can catch him up.”

    “I-”

    “Yes, that’d be fine,” Sean interrupts Harry. “We want you to kill my parents.”

    “Okay.” Villanelle shrugs. “How?”

    “An accident.”

    “You want inheritance and life insurance money,” Villanelle guesses. “Pay for those two girls to have a good life. Sean gets the biggest cut because it’s his parents and he gets to quit being a male escort, although I doubt he’ll quit that. Octavius and Harold get to run this shit pub and not worry about how they’re putting more money into it then they are making. _I_ get paid a few million.”

    The three men stare at her with wide eyes. “How…” Sean begins.

    “I do this stuff for fun. So tell me about your parents.”

    Villanelle is told how the Baxters are very wealthful because they develop war weapons. They live in a mansion outside of Manchester, and every Saturday morning they go on cruises in their convertible porsche. She decides she’ll use that. Several small holes in the brake lines to make it look like they scraped the bottom of the car on a curb. Since they’ll be driving on the freeways, they won’t notice that their brakes aren’t working till it’s too late. The trio shake on it and Villanelle spends the rest of the day walking around London with Sean.

    He tells her about each member of his makeshift family. Octavius and Sean are soulmates but Octavius and Harold had already been married when the dreams started. Sean still found him and they became good friends. Right now, Sean lives in the backroom with the girls because all his money he makes from drugs and sex goes to make sure Eliza stays in school and Samantha can get a private tutor. Samantha moved in one year prior. Her parents kicked her out when she told them she was a dreamer and her soulmate was sent to a treatment therapy. He killed himself one week into treatment. Harry used to move drugs but gave it up when he met Octavius and opened the pub with him. His brother Charlie still moves drugs down in Brighton using a club called CyberSleep as a front. Sean didn’t elaborate on the Eliza situation, just said her parents were alive but out of the picture.

    They are walking in front of the Thames House. An old man wearing a fedora accidentally bumps into Villanelle and drops a bunch of papers. She bends over and picks up the papers for him. 

    “Sorry about that. Crazy job,” he gestures to the Thames House.

    She nods and laughs, “I imagine. Catching spies and assassins.”

    He laughs. “No we don’t do that. It’s all boring work, really.”

    “Then you should quit,” Villanelle whispers like it’s a scheme. “We can wait here while you do and then the three of us can go on an adventure.”

    The man’s eyes go between Villanelle and Sean, as if considering it a moment. “I already lived that life. Now my entertainment is karaoke bars and remembering the ‘good ole days’. But it was nice meeting you.” He holds out his free hand. “I’m Bill.”

    “Julie.” Villanelle shakes his hand.

    “Sean.” He shakes Bill hand too.

    Bill waves goodbye and makes his way into the office.

    Sean turns towards Villanelle. “So _Julie_ tell me your story.”

    “What do you want to know?”

    “How does one as beautiful as you become a stone cold assassin who has breakdowns at clubs?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

    She shoves him. “I castrated a man.”

    “Oh, jesus! Was there a reason?”

    “His wife asked me to do it. I ended up in prison, got recruited, now I kill people and get to spend money on expensive clothes.”

    “That doesn’t explain your little breakdown.”

    “My soulmate, Love, me and her hadn’t had a dream together for a year. I thought something happened. I just needed to get it out of my system last night.”

    “Your letter was an E not an L.”

    “Yeah, well I’m not stupid. If she looked me up using my real name she’d find out Oksana killed herself in prison. So I made up a game where we don’t tell each other our real names.”

    “Smart.” Then he pauses, “Your real name is Oksana? That doesn’t fit you at all.”

    “I know!” she agrees. “What are you going to do with your money?”

    “I’m going to buy a shop. I’ve already talked with the owners about how much it would cost. There’s a studio apartment above. I want to open my own fashion store.” He sticks out his chest with pride. “You should move in with me.”

    “You want an assassin to live with you? Especially one that castrated a man?”

    “Well, you could use friends and obviously have good taste in clothes. Konstantin would probably approve of the situation.”

    “You know Konstantin?”

    “Him and Octavius are friends. We had gotten pretty drunk and that’s how we started talking about my parents and he told us he had someone perfect for the job.”

    “You are all a bunch of psychopaths.”

    “It’s just quality personality, babe.”

* * *

****

Half a year ago

****

    The plan goes off without a hitch. Villanelle doesn’t move in with Sean. Instead she moves in to a flat across the street. She keeps having dreams with Love and everything is back to good. Konstantin says her Paris flat is also going to be paid for incase she needs to return. He’s honestly happy that she’s on better behavior and isn’t moping around.

    Villanelle walks into the pub on a Friday morning to drive Eliza to school. It had become a habit that Sam drove her on Mondays, Sean on Tuesdays, Octavius and Harry on Wednesdays, Charlie on Thursdays when he was in town otherwise Eliza walked on Thursdays, and Villanelle got Fridays. This Friday Villanelle carries a shoe box of the latest 200 dollar sneakers after Octavius mentioned Eliza was getting picked on for not having the newest Nikes. He didn’t understand what the big deal was.

    Octavius and Charlie are screaming at each other when she walks into the pub. She sets the shoe box down and pulls them apart. “What the hell is going on?”

    “Charlie was supposed to pick up Eliza from school yesterday and she never came home!” Octavius yells, tears running down his face.

    Villanlle’s blood runs cold. “What?”

    “Eliza’s gone!”

    She turns and grabs Charile by his shirt, pulling her knife out in one swift motion and holding it against his throat. “What did you do?”

    “It was business. I’m making sure this family keeps making money.” His face is red and he leans away from Villanelle.

    She drops the knife and punches him, knocking him to the ground. “What did you do!” she yells and kicks him in the nose. She picks her knife back up and straddles him, pressing it tightly against his throat.

    “People would pay a lot of money for a woman like you, too,” he says and spits blood on Villanelle’s face.

    Villanelle snaps and punches him once. Then twice. A third and a fourth and she can feel her knuckles splitting. Then she keeps hitting him until the bones on his face are poking piecing her hand and breaking through his skin. Hands hook under her and she thrashes wildly. Charlie is still moaning and groaning in pain. Villanelle is completely feral and wants to keep bashing his skull in.

    “Go find Eliza. She’s probably at CyberSleep.”

    Villanelle nods, somewhat in shock. She points at Charlie, “If anything happened to Eliza, I’m going to come back and break his skull til I can his brain.”

    Octavius nods.

* * *

****

    Villanelle manages to get to Brighton in an hour and twenty minutes, flying over the speed limit. She pulls into the empty parking lot of CyberSleep. It takes her only a moment to pick the lock. The club is empty but Villanelle knows there is basement that was used to grow pot and store drugs. Apparently more than drugs. She storms down stairs and shoots the one man standing guard in front of a door before he could react. Blood splatters on the door behind him and she moves the body out of the way. 

    Eliza sits in a corner of a room crying with her head pressed between her knees. 

    “Oh god, you’re okay,” Villanelle sighs. “Eliza, it’s V.”

    She shakily looks up at Villanelle. “Is it safe?”

    Villanelle nods, “Come on.”

    Eliza gets up. She’s in jeans and a hoodie. Doesn’t look hurt. “Did they do anything to you?”

    “No, I… Charlie said he wouldn’t hurt me if I just listened. I knew you would find me before anything bad happened so I listened.”

    Villanelle puts her hands on either side of Eliza’s head then kisses the top of her head. “You were right. I found you. We’ve got to get you home now.” She leads Eliza out of the room. “Close your eyes,” she tells her and waits till their past the body to tell Eliza she’s fine to open her eyes again. Villanelle leads her out of the club and to her car.

    “Put on your seatbelt.” Villanelle drums her hands against the steering wheel. “I got you a gift.”

    Eliza doesn’t speak. 

    Villanelle glances over, “A new pair of Nikes. Octavius said some kids were being mean and my first reaction was to go to the school and make them apologize, but he wouldn’t let me do that.” Villanelle laughs.

    Still no reaction from Eliza.

    It’s when Villanelle looks over this time does she see the car running the stop sign and then darkness.

****

    She wakes up to the smell of smoke and burning rubber. It takes a moment for her to remember where she is. Her first instinct is to evaluate the situation. They caught the back of half of her car. Eliza is knocked out. Villanelle reaches over and checks for any bleeding. When she doesn’t find any and Eliza’s pulse feels normal she crawls out of the car. The driver of the car was laid out on top of her car. Definitely dead, blood everywhere and shards of glass making him look a porcupine. She recognized him as a friend of Charlie’s. Villanelle pulls out her phone and calls an emergency service as she stumbles away from the crash. She’s fine beside maybe a sprained ankle, however she couldn’t be here when the police arrived. Eliza was fine and the car wasn’t on fire. She’d be understanding. After the call Villanelle breaks her phone and walks around the city for a while. 

    Once it’s late enough, she pulls out her second phone for work only and googles the nearest hospital. It’s another twenty minute walk. The hospital isn’t too busy at this time of night.

    “Do you need help ma’am?”

    Villanelle nods and slides 500 pounds under the glass monitor. “You had an Eliza James here today. I was wondering how she is doing.”

    The nurse types on her computer then frowns. She gets up and leaves the tiny office to stand with Villanelle in the hallway.

    “What is it?”

    “Eliza James was in a car crash and died of internal bleeding before she got to the hospital.”

    Villanelle shuts down any emotions. “Okay.” Then she turns and walks out of the hospital.

* * *

****

    By the next morning, she’s sitting on her couch in Paris playing Grand Theft Auto on her PS4. A lollipop hangs out of her mouth and she begins cussing when a cop shoots her. Her front door opens and she hears footsteps near her. Konstantin stands in the opening of the living room and watches her for a few minutes, not speaking. She finishes her lollipop and flings the stick to another part of the flat.

    “Do you want to watch a movie on your…” Konstantin trails off, not knowing what her PS4 was called.

    “Sure,” she says and shrugs. She scoots over so he can sit beside her. Once he’s seated she lays her legs over his lap. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t push them off. “What do you want to watch?”

    “What’s that one with little creature that annoys his owner? The little blue creature?”

    “Lilo and Stitch.”

    “Yes! You like that one so we should watch it.”

Villanelle nods and puts it on. Konstantin never asks, _What happened? Why is your hand broke? Why is one of your London friends in the hospital and another dead?_ Konstantin just laughs at jokes in a movie he’s seen a hundred times and pretends not to see the tears running down Villanelle’s face. **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically this chapter is about the two years Villanelle lived with the group Eve is meeting. Sean hired Villanelle to kill his parents and meets her at Land of Lost Dreams where Villanelle goes a drug binge about Eve and not having a dream for a year. Then it jumps to right before Villanelle left the group with her finding out Charlie is going to sell Eliza to someone and she beats him nearly to death and rescues Eliza except one of Charlie's men tries to stop them by crashing his car into Villanelle's. Villanelle thinks Eliza is fine and just calls an ambulance and leaves so that the police don't catch her then later that day goes to the hospital to make sure Eliza is fine and finds out Eliza died of internal bleeding. Villanelle returns to Paris and Konstantin comes over and watches Lilo and Stitch with her.


	24. I'd bow my head and welcome them

Eve wakes up to Sean playing music and beginning a new project. She needs a shower and thanks her past self for wearing sweatpants to bed over her underwear. As she makes her way to the bathroom, she stops and looks at Sean's new design.

"See something, you like?" He asks as he starts draping a piece of dark red see through fabric into the black fabric. He bunches it and Eve can't help but think about how much it looks like blood.

"What's the idea on this one?" She asks and rubs the sleep out of her eyes.

He points towards the desk. "Sketch is beside the machine." He doesn't look away from where he pins the fabrics together.

Eve walks over and looks at the design. A typical black evening gown with one ruffle of dark red fabric beginning at the left upper abdomen and merging into the skirt of the dress. Like blood escaping a small hole and flowing out. Eve gives a dry laugh, "Where you get the inspiration for this one?"

"It just came to me," he responds and stands up. 

"She's alive," Eve blurts out.

"Oh, lovely. Does that mean I have to worry about an assassin coming here for revenge?" Sean pauses the music and stares at Eve.

Eve blushes. "I don't think she's angry anymore."

"Oh my  _ god _ , Eve Song go take a cold shower. It's already noon and Octavius wanted us over by one for lunch, so do not rub one out in my shower!" He calls out behind her.

* * *

 

When Octavius prepares a lunch, there's enough food to feed a family to feed a family of twelve. He makes 15 different sandwiches and a huge container of slaw. Even if it's only Eve, Manny, Sean, and himself, who all have one sandwich. Octavius tells Sean to give the leftovers to the homeless people out of Lost Dreams after they finish and Manny to go see if they're is anything the can host for the nearest shelter. Then once he's done telling the two what to do after lunch, he turns to Eve.

"You've been living with Sean for a week now, I think you can give us some answers."

"Octavius, that's not-" Sean begins but is interrupted by Eve.

"It's fine, Sean." She puts down her fork and clasps her hands together, elbows pressing on the table. "What do you want to know?"

"Why are you living with, Sean?"

"I'm getting a divorce with my husband. He gets the house, I get the savings."

"Why are you getting a divorce?"

"We both have different soulmates. I got distant when I started getting the dreams."

"Why aren't you with your soulmate?"

Eve sighs debating to give the long answer or the short answer. "I thought she was dead."

"Thought?" Octavius leans forward and crosses his arms.

"I had a dream with her last night."

"So does that mean you are going to leave?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"She's a little prick who insists on not telling me where to find her." Eve feels her phone starts to vibrate in her pocket. She assumes it's just Elena wanting to run over the case again and decides to ignore it.

"What's her name?"

Sean interjects, "I don't think that's important."

Her phone starts to vibrate again. She pulls it out and sees it's Carolyn. After standing up but before answering the phone she looks at Octavius. She wants him to trust her. "Villanelle," she answers him and then walks away to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Eve. Your equipment for Brighton is in my home and I want it out. Are you busy?" Carolyn asks in a way that makes Eve think if she was in the middle of anything, she wouldn't be busy by Carolyn standards.

"No, I was just finishing up a late lunch. I'll be over that right away."

"I just finished lunch at my house. What did you eat?"

Eve hesitates in case this is a trick question

 "Um… a sandwich and coleslaw."

"Oh." Carolyn sounds genuinely disappointed for the first time ever. "I will see you soon then. Don't ring the doorbell, please. I find it far too loud and absolutely useless when you are able to knock on the door." Carolyn hangs up.

Eve pulls the phone away from her ear and looks quizzically at it, wondering if she heard Carolyn right. She turns to go back to the table when Sean turns the corner and bounces up to her. A blue cooler hangs off his shoulder and sways with each step. He presses his hands on Eve's shoulders, spinning her around towards the exit. 

"I'll drop you off at Carolyn's on my way to Lost Dreams," he offers.

"Were you listening to me?" Eve asks and walks beside Sean.

"Of course, I was." He opens the door for Eve.

"Why did Octavius want to know who my soulmate was?"

"We see a lot of people here. Was probably just wondering if he's seen your  _ Villanelle _ ."

"Has he? Have you?" Eve stops and turns to Sean. 

"Even if I had, she would have given me a fake name, wouldn't she?" Putting his weight on his left foot, he crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "I've never met anyone named Villanelle."

"But you're right. You could have seen her before," Eve digs in her pocket and scrolls through her phone. She shoves it in Sean's face. "You've ever seen her?"

He plucks the phone from her and studies it for a moment. "I've never seen her before. She's really fucking hot, though." He hands her back her phone. "I can't believe you choose to stab her then let her fuck you senseless."

Eve blushes and gets in his car without another word.

* * *

 

White walls , minimalist furniture, and silence are the three decorations of Carolyn’s house. Villanelle doesn’t get it. People who are typically minimalist are also typically rich. They should buy things with the money instead of abstract weird looking furniture. She tears off pieces of her napkin and drops it on the floor while watching Kenny get nervous under her gaze. 

Carolyn invited her over for lunch and to pick up her equipment in it. An ear piece, and a thumb ring with a microphone in the center. So obvious that it didn’t even look like a microphone. Now, she sits bored and uncomfortable at a dining table with Carolyn, Kenny, and Konstantin. They were all eating some extravagant meal, except Villanelle. Villanelle asked for a sandwich and then Konstantin told her to stop being rude. 

Kenny’s turning red and Villanelle is satisfied. She turns and looks at the case of equipment over on the kitchen counter. “Is that for Eve?”

“Yes, it is. I should probably call her to come get it.” Carolyn gets up from the table and walks to a different room.

Villanelle pushes her chair back and also stands. “I take it that's my cue that I’m no longer wanted.” She walks behind Kenny. “I’ll see you later, Kenneth.” Her teeth snap beside his ear and then she smiles and waves at Konstantin. “Shouldn’t you be hiding too?”

“I will just go to another room,” he states plainly.

Her head looks around. “Are they all this boring?”

“Carolyn doesn’t like pointless things.”

“She likes you.” Villanelle slides her soft pink trench on.

Konstantin laughs. “I have my uses.”

Villanelle gags. “Too much information.” 

With one more flirty goodbye to Kenny, Villanelle leaves Carolyn’s house. Eve will be getting a ride from Sean or a cab, so Villanelle makes her way around the side of the house. It takes about ten minutes for Eve to arrive, in Sean’s Prius of course, but damn does she look good. Villanelle shoots Sean a text to just wait there and watches Eve, dressed in a black short sleeve button up and white slacks, walk into Carolyn’s house. Then Villanelle strides into Sean’s car.

“Give me Eve’s phone number,” she states and pulls her phone out.

He gives it to her before starting to drive. “Aren’t you not supposed to have contact with her?”

_ You look hot _ , Villanelle sends to Eve then a few fire emojis afterwards to back up her point. A blue cooler sits between her feet. She upzips it and looks inside at the sandwiches. “Are these Octavius’s?”

“Yes, we are on our way to give them to homeless people.”

Villanelle grabs a sandwich and unwraps it. She moans when she bites into it. This is what a sandwich is supposed to taste like. “I’ll give you twenty quid to let me take them home.”

“Deal.” Sean holds his hand out for the money, not speaking till Villanelle hands it over. “So, we may have a small issue.”

“What?”

“Eve may have told Octavius that your name is Villanelle.”

“Yep, that’s an issue.” Villanelle takes another bite of the sandwich and talks with her mouth full. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Saved by boss lady calling her.”

“Thanks Carolyn. So where we going?”

“Well, do you want me to drop you off at wherever you’re staying?”

“Nope.”

“What do you want to?”

“I want to break shit,” Villanelle says and shrugs.

“Alright, babe. I know just the place.”

* * *

 

Sean pulls into the parking lot of Octavius’s pub.

“Um, Sean, I said I want to break shit. Like glass or wood or I don’t know.” Villanelle leans back not wanting spotted by anyone.

“Well, pick a fight or something. You’d prefer breaking a nose over glass anyways right?”

That did make sense. “Okay, fine.”

Sean leads her into the pub. There’s a few people in the pub. Villanelle doesn’t recognize the bartender, but recognizes the person cleaning tables. She hands her coat on the rack by the door and follows Sean’s lead. He taps on Octavius’s shoulder. The big man turns around and before he can yell at Sean, spots Villanelle. “Well, holy shit. It’s really you.”

“It’s really me.”

Octavius stares at her with a look that’s the perfect balance of wanting to yell and wanting to cry. Instead of either, he raises a hand and gestures for her to come over. “Well, c’mere. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”

Villanelle shyly nods and then walks over, immediately pulled into a hug. Tight muscles loosen and she relaxes into the hug. She feels Octavius’s chin on her head.

“Welcome home, kid.”

With such a small statement, it cracks open Villanelle’s chest and she digs her head into Octavius’s neck. Her hands dig at his back and she apologizes over and over again for the first time in her life. Apologizes for leaving, apologizes for Eliza, apologies for being selfish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! Things are going to pick up next chapter :) These last three chapters were really about seeing Villanelle's humanity


	25. I'm sick of losing soulmates, won't be alone again

    Eve checks in at her hotel in Brighton at 3:47 pm. A small, cheap hotel. Her bed has more cum stains and blood stains than she can count. She doesn't know which one bothers her more. Instead of touching to bed, she opts to sit at the desk and get all of the equipment set up. She doesn't expect the MI6 field operative to check in until 12:30, which is going to make for a boring 8 hours. 

    The field operative checks in at 11:21 pm. 

    "Hey, spy. Can you hear me?" Her accent is a delicate mixture of American and British.

    "Yes, is this...Laura?" Eve asks and leans forward.

    "Uh, yeah sure."

    Eve laughs. "You don't sound very sure about that."

    "I'm sorry, _Eve_. My name gets changed a lot."

    "Why are you checking in so early?"

    There's a pause and Eve imagines the girl shrugs not realizing Eve couldn't see her. "I don't know. I just wanted to get to know my friend."

    "We aren't friends."

    "We could be."

    "Why?" Eve relaxes in her chair.

    "Because you're going to be listening to everything I do for the next few hours."

    "Where are you that people aren't looking at you weird for talking to yourself?"

    Laura laughs. "Oh, they are looking at me weird. I'm at a pub a few buildings down from the club."

    "You better not be getting drunk."

    "Are you going to _punish_ me if I am?"

    Eve ignores the innuendo. "Carolyn might."

* * *

 

    Eve makes Villanelle laugh for the next hour and then when 'Laura' informs her that she's outside of CyberSleep, Eve gets intensely serious.

    "Please be careful," Eve nearly begs.

    Villanelle laughs and gets in line for the club. It's not very long and then she's in front of the bouncer.

    "Arm," he says bored.

    She holds it out and lets him scan it. The dark red E still throws her off for a moment. He tells her she can head in and she nods once then slides her hands into her trousers's pockets.

    "You're a dreamer?" Eve sounds surprised.

    "Yeah? How else would I get in the club?" Villanelle looks around the club. It wasn't much different to Land of Lost Dreams except the people were all a little bit more crazy. Someone walks past her wearing leather tights and a bullet proof vest. 

    "I don't know," Eve answers, "Dreamers aren't supposed to work for MI6."

    "Times are changing, Eve. Maybe Carolyn thinks a pair of soulmates is her strongest team." Villanelle walks up to the bar and orders a neat Grey Goose.

    "Does anything look off in there?" 

    Villanelle watches the shirtless bartender with strap-on angel wings. The edges glow neon pink. "Not really."

    "Well, walk around, talk to people, I don't know."

    "Are you telling me to manipulate people?" Villanelle grabs her drink and turns around.

    "No!" Then there's a pause. "Maybe. There's been about ten people that have gone missing and their last known location is this club."

    "Well, lucky for you, my specialty is manipulation. After you know, making women scream my name." Villanelle can picture Eve blushing and throws back the rest of her drink. She hasn't seen Charlie or Harold anywhere. Maybe they're down stairs.

    "You do realize this conversation is being recorded?"

    "It's not like I'm screwing a woman against a wall...yet." A woman with dark skin and a natural afro walks past her. Her eyes carry from the red stilettos to the red sequined dress. She winks when she makes eye contact with the woman.

    "Jesus, Laura. You are an HR nightmare."

    A hand taps on Villanelle's shoulder. Some red headed, big man with an ugly jacket and beady eyes stares at her. Must be security.

    "Can I help you?" Villanelle asks.

    "Yes, I'm Raymond. The owner of the club wanted me to come get you. He was hoping you would join him." Raymond speaks with a faux kindness that Villanelle sees through right away.

    "What does he want?" She asks then feels the gun against her back.

    "Just to talk. You're not going to be rude are you, _Oksana_?" He leans by her ear to whisper. 

    "Laura, what's going on?" Eve asks.

    Villanelle drops her accent. "I would _never_ be rude."

    "Good. You already know where to go." 

* * *

 

    The Russian accent. Eve jumps out of her chair walks around the room. She needs her phone. Because a) she needs to ask Carolyn if she's just fucking with her and b) Villanelle is compromised and needs back up. The only audio coming through the microphone is club music. Then there's a door and a man's laughter.

    "Villanelle! How lovely to see you again!" A man exclaims. 

    Villanelle grunts. "Should have fucked up your other eye too.”

    There’s the sound of someone being punched and then Villanelle’s laughter.

    “Pretty sad you have to have someone hold me back to beat me up, Charlie boy.”

    “Get her tied up Raymond. I have some questions then she’s yours,” says the one Eve assumes to be Charlie.

    There’s rustling and Villanelle bitching. A door slams then silence. Eve walks over and sits back down. 

    “Villanelle, listen to me. I’m going to call Carolyn and get a back up team sent there,” Eve instructs.

    “Hey bitch boy, where’s your brother?” Villanelle calls out. There’s another punch. Then another. “Can you see out of that eye?”

    Eve realizes Villanelle is trying to buy time for her to call Carolyn. She gets back up and digs her phone out of her bag. In a frantic rush she drops it. It shatters. Her hands dig through hair as she stands over the phone and stares at it. When there is a scream of pain, Eve is reminded of the situation.

    “Villanelle?” Eve calls out. “I dropped my phone and it shattered. I can’t call Carolyn.”

    Villanelle laughs until it’s twisted into another groan of pain.

* * *

 

    There’s a knife above her knee. Ten centimeter steel blade in her leg and a fifteen centimeter wood handle sticking out. Eve broke her phone so there isn’t any backup. Charlie is pushing forward on the knife and she can feel it tearing the muscle. Eve’s begging her to find away out but Villanelle doesn’t have many options. Her arms are handcuffed behind the chair to a metal pole in the corner and her ankles at cuffed to each chair leg.

    She watches the knife with sadistic curiosity. “If you twisted it and then pulled back using the blunt side, it would hurt more.”

    Charlie looks up with disgust and she spits blood on his face. He yanks the knife out, hits her in the face with the handle, and stabs it back in before standing up. Villanelle watches him leave the room. The door slams. Blood runs into her left eye which is swelling shut. 

    “Eve,” she rasps out. “I can’t get out. You need to come here. There’s a small window in the basement. It’s propped open already.”

    “I...I can’t.”

    “Yes, you can. Eve, I need you.”

    There’s silence.

    “Eve, please, fuck, please. Charlie is going to kill me.”

    Eve sighs, “Listen, I’m putting in my ear piece. I won’t be able to talk but I’ll be able to hear you. If he comes back into the room you need to tell me.”

* * *

 

    Apparently Charlie never comes back in because Villanelle doesn’t make much noise besides pained breathes. A vast change to her arrogance and loudness. Eve walks through the alley behind the club and sees a small window. White light shines through it. She falls to her knees and looks in. Villanelle is hunched over in a chair, but besides that the room looks empty. The window creaks as she shimmies her way in and her body reminds her about how much she _hasn’t_ been working out.

    “Eve?” Villanelle calls out and raises her head. Her left eye is swollen shut and blood covers most of her face.

    “I’m here,” Eve walks up and squats in front of Villanelle. “What do I do?”

    Villanelle smiles as if there isn’t a knife sticking out of her knee. “You’re so beautiful.”

    “Villanelle, focus. What do I do?”

    “The keys are by the door. Grab them and then I’ll get us out of here.”

    Eve does as Villanelle says but also keeps talking, “How? There’s a knife sticking out of your leg.”

    “Are you jealous that someone else stabbed me?”

    Eve shakes her head and unlocks all of Villanelle’s cuffs. Villanelle smacks her hands away when she tries to help her up.

    “I can walk by myself.” She stumbles and catches herself on Eve. “I can’t walk by myself.”

    Eve laughs and loops one of Villanelle’s arms over her shoulder. “What do we do?”

    “I’ll push you out the window, then climb up.”

    “Or you both can put your hands up,” Charlie says behind the pair.

    They slowly turn and Villanelle removes her arm from Eve, opting to push Eve behind her. “She’s not apart of this Charlie.”

    He leans and looks at Eve. “Is this the infamous Eve Polastri?”

    Eve watches at Villanelle slides her free hand to beside the knife in her leg.

    “You know Eve, you are the first person to find our best agent. The Twelve would love to have someone with your intelligence working for us.”

    Villanelle pauses. “You’re the Twelve?”

    Charlie laughs and walks closer. He presses the end of his gun to Villanelle’s forehead. “Yeah. All those people that are missing? They’re just new recruits.”

    “Eliza’s not dead,” Villanelle states without emotion.

    “Eliza’s not dead,” Charlie repeats. “You did exactly what I wanted you to do and made it easy for us to fake her-”

    Villanelle yanks the knife out of her leg and pushes it all the way through Charlie’s wrist. The gun falls to the ground with Villanelle and Charlie. Eve freezes as Charlie climbs on top of Villanelle and begins hitting her. When Villanelle awkwardly reaches for the gun, Charlie leans back and stabs the knife through Villanelle’s hand

    “Stop!” Eve calls out

    Charlie laughs and presses his hands around Villanelle’s neck. Villanelle is completely out of it and looks at Eve. Her open right eye is glossed over and looks so tired. Her left side of her face is bruised and bloody. Eve doesn’t even know if Villanelle’s really in this room mentally anymore, she looks so out of it. Charlie leans forward to whisper something in Villanelle’s ear and her eye flutters shut. Then there’s a gunshot.


	26. I can finally see you're as fucked up as me

Carolyn sits them beside each other, tells them to wait a moment, then leaves the room. Villanelle has been checked out by a medic and is still somewhat disoriented. A severe concussion, a stab wound in her right knee, a hole through her hand. There's still fluids leaking out of the cut above Villanelle's eyebrow and her left eye below it is swollen shut, but luckily she's on Eve's left so she can look at her out of the corner of her right eye. She can also see her own hand shaking on the arm of the chair. Her knuckles whiten under the edges of her bandages when she tries to calm herself by squeezing the armchair. Except nothing ever relaxes Villanelle. Being content and her name never go in the same sentence. Charlie being dead makes adrenaline pump through her body. Eve killing Charlie makes oxytocin and dopamine overload her brain. Her good knee starts bouncing and Villanelle starts jerking her head around to look around the room. Anxiety is crawling up her back and whispering for her to run and to get out of here. 

Creation of Adam hangs on the wall behind the desk centered between two windows. The door behind them is dark stained alder. If it's locked she could kick it down even with her quadricep tendon having been shredded. The room is mostly dark because of the glass windows and it being almost 3 in the morning. The overhead light is a warm, dim yellow that doesn't hurt Villanelle's head too bad.

Eve places her hand on top of Villanelle's and something deep inside of Villanelle clicks. Her head jerks and stares at Eve's hand on top of her blood stained bandages. An emptiness in Villanelle disappears as somewhere deep inside her she finds something she never realized she was looking for. Eve squeezes Villanelle's hand and the perennial emptiness finally ends. It's what she craved and desired out of Anna but never received. Villanelle moves slowly, trying not to startle Eve, or maybe trying to not startle herself, and she looks at Eve, like she's seeing her for the first time. Eve isn't facing Villanelle, she stares straight forward, but her hand squeezes even tighter, and Villanelle knows Eve feels it too.

The door behind them clicks and neither of them move. Carolyn walks around the desk and sits down. Eve moves her head to look at Carolyn but her hand doesn't move. Villanelle grudgingly turns her head to face Carolyn, but smiles, showing off blood soaked teeth. 

"Well, I am impressed to say the least. You managed to find a loophole I didn't even realize we had in our agreement. Since you're both alive, we can also say the job without a hitch, but Charlie is dead, which is a hitch. Eve, why didn't you call a back up team before going in?"

"I…"

"I told Eve not to. I knew Charlie, and I knew he would make a mistake and give me the chance to attack him."

"Yes, but how is it that you managed to suddenly get out of handcuffs."

"I know my way around handcuffs, although I usually prefer ropes." Villanelle shrugs and leans back.

Carolyn nods. "That's quite fortunate that you have such an  _ acquired _ knowledge, it's also quite fortunate that Eve forgot to click the record button on the audio."

"No, I didn't. I made-"

Villanelle sits her other hand on top of Eve's. " _ Wow Eve _ , such a beginner's mistake. I'm sure she'll remember next time. Right, Eve?"

Eve looks between Carolyn and Villanelle. Then she sighs. "I won't forget next time."

"So how did Charlie die?" Carolyn says and leans against her desk.

* * *

 

Charlie falls limp on top of an also limp Villanelle. Smoke flows out of this 9mm pistol in Eve's hands. It falls to the ground with a loud clang and Eve is trying to push Charlie off of Villanelle.

"Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead," she repeats as she presses her fingers against Villanelle's pulse point. There's a surprisingly strong heart beat. Eve shakes Villanelle gently. Ignores the blood splatter on her white suit or the knife that is forcing Villanelle's hand to be stuck to the ground.

Villanelle's right eye peaks open. "Hi, Love," she slurs and smiles. "Where are we?"

"Villanelle, we aren't in a dream. We need to get out of here."

Her head lulls to the side and she spots Charlie's dead body. " _ Oh. _ You killed him."

Eve's stomach lurches and she fights the urge to throw up. "He was going to kill you."

"You saved me. We're safe…" Villanelle trails off and starts to fall asleep. 

"Hey! Hey!"

Villanelle opens her one eye again. 

"You can't go to sleep. Okay? You've got to tell me how we get out of here." Eve has tears streaming down her face. 

"Check… pockets… Charlie's pockets for phone." Villanelle looks at the knife in her hand. "Call Carolyn… tell her… tell Carolyn we need doctor. Can I sleep now?"

"No." Eve digs through Charlie's pockets. She mumbles an apology. 

"Eve," Villanelle says, suddenly alert. "Do not tell Carolyn you killed Charlie. Tell her you found us like this." Her gaze is piercing and threatening. 

Slowly, Eve nods then dials Carolyn. Villanelle head drops back against the ground and she lets out a groan. The phone rings for a few moments, being a little after 1 in the morning and Carolyn most likely being asleep. Carolyn doesn't pick up and Eve leaves the world's most frantic voicemail.

"Carolyn, I… Villanelle-Laura, fuck. She was compromised and I- the owner of the club is dead and Villanelle needs a doctor or something… this is Eve by the way."

* * *

Villanelle slips her hand out of Eve's and picks at the white bandage. "Charlie and me got in a struggle and he thought he killed me." She shrugs. "He started to leave the room and I picked up a gun he dropped when we were fighting and called out to him. When he started to turn I shot him in the side of the neck."

Eve watches Villanelle talk. Her eyes light up on certain words like killed, gun, and fighting. Pride shines on her face when she says she shot him. If Eve hadn't shot Charlie herself, she'd believe Villanelle. When Villanelle finished she turns and her eyes widen, catching Eve staring at her. Once she recovers, she smiles and nods once.

"Well, it's nearing 3 in the morning. I suggest you two wait till after you’ve slept to talk, but neither of you seem to make good decisions so I’ll make it a bit easier.” Carolyn stands up. “I told Villanelle she wasn’t allowed to tell you she was working for us. I gave her a simple choice in prison. Work for MI6 or we’ll torture Eve. Finally, one of you made a good decision and she chose to work for MI6. Everyone on the team is aware she is working for us but they were also given disclaimers to not tell you.” Carolyn smiles, content with her explanation, and starts to leave before stopping before the door. “Oh, and Konstantin is still alive.”

The door clicks shut once again. 

“Did… she say she was going to have me tortured?” Eve speaks first.

“Yes.”

“They-MI6 wouldn’t have actually tortured me, would they?”

“Yes, they would have.” Then Villanelle tries to stand. She uses the arms of the chair, leans forward against Carolyn’s desk, and then pads of crutches slide under her armpits. “Thanks.”

Eve helps Villanelle balance on the crutches. “The doctor said you shouldn’t be alone.”

Villanelle sighs. “Doctors probably also recommend not stabbing people.”

“Or committing murder," Eve jests.

“Was that a joke?” Villanelle says and smiles.

Eve rolls her eyes and holds the door open for Villanelle. “I’ll call someone to come pick us up and you’re staying with me.”

* * *

 

Of course it’s Sean who picks them up. He jumps out of the car wearing plaid green dungarees.

“Are you wearing overalls or did I hit my head that hard?” Villanelle asks and crutches over to the car.

“Like blood on a white suit isn’t camp.” Sean rolls his eyes and walks over to Eve, grabbing both of her hands. “How are you darling?”

Eve looks between Sean and Villanelle. “You two know each other.”

Villanelle swallows and doesn’t respond. Instead she enters the backseat.

“Maybe that would be better to talk about after a good night’s rest. You two can take my bed as long as you promise to not defile it. I need your word because I can’t trust her.”

“How do you know her? You told me you didn’t!”

“I wasn’t allowed to tell you. MI6. How we know each other is a long story. Now let’s get back to the flat before Villanelle licks everything in my car.”

In the car, Villanelle has her head pressed to the back of the seat and takes in shallow, pained breaths. When the door opens, she controls her breathing and picks up the crutches so Eve can slide in beside her. After placing the crutches on their laps, her right hand jerks out and grabs Eve’s wrist. With her left index finger, she jabs between Eve’s fingers.

“What are you doing?”

Villanelle shrugs and keeps poking her finger between Eve’s. For the first five minutes of the drive, the trio is silent. Eventually Villanelle switches to running her finger up and down the bones in Eve’s hand. Under her breath she mumbles the anatomical term for each bone, reminding Eve just how intelligent Villanelle is. Even if her touch was just a feather brushing over her skin, Villanelle knew exactly where to jab her finger into Eve’s hand to cause severe bleeding.

“Close your eyes,” Villanelle orders. 

Eve hesitates. “Why?”

“I want to play a game. I’ll trace a letter on the back of your hand and you have to guess which letter it is.”

Sean groans.

Ignoring Sean, Eve responds. “Okay.” She closes her eyes.

Villanelle makes a loop with a line the extends from it.

“d?” Eve guesses.

“Nope.” Villanelle does it again.

“P?”

“Yep. Next letter.” Villanelle makes a half circle with the ends going straight up.

“U,” Eve says confidently.

Villanelle laughs. “So smart.” Then she traces the next letter that feels like an unfinished 8.

Eve’s eyes shoot up and she glares at Villanelle. “I swear to god if you’re spelling out the word pussy, I’ll beat you with one of these crutches.”

Her eyes widen and she raises her hand to her chest, dropping Eve’s wrist. “So violent Eve. Sean, do you hear the abuse I am dealing with?”

“I heard about it when she stabbed you. Which I feel is more severe abuse than a threat.”

“Eve just didn’t know what people meant when they said lesbians scissor so she thought stabbing me with a knife would be similar.”

Eve smacks Villanelle’s arm.

“Hey!” Villanelle looks disbelieving at Eve. “ _ That _ is abuse.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Eve, it’s okay, I forgive you. I like when you hurt me.”

Blood rushes to Eve’s face as the words run straight to her core.

“Disgusting. V, you are banned from talking in my car.”

Villanelle shrugs and pretends to zip her lips. Her head presses to the seat once again and her eyes flutter shut.

* * *

 

Eve carries Villanelle’s crutches while Sean carries the sleeping woman. She places the crutches against the wall beside the bed and pulls the sheets back for Sean. He sits Villanelle down and tells Eve to get her out of the blood stained clothes.

“Thank you,” Eve says to Sean as she leans Villanelle against her to pull of the suit jacket. Villanelle must be somewhat conscious because her arms try to be helpful and she mumbles an incoherent joke against Eve’s neck. The white dress shirt takes a little more effort and a blushing Eve looks away from the see through lavender bralette.

“It’s nothing.” He rubs at his bare arms. “V’s family. It’s just good to have her back and happy.”

“You haven’t kept in touch?” Eve asks.

Villanelle raises her hips so Eve can tug her pants off. Eve ignores the matching lavender silk panties. She pulls the blanket over Villanelle, who rolls over and shoves her face into the pillow.

“No, her leaving was kind of sudden. I really didn’t know what had happened to her till I met you.”

“You didn’t know who I was? You didn’t target me because of her?” Eve walks over to her clothes and changes into an oversized shirt and plain cotton underwear.

“No, I had no clue until you told me her name. Now, go to bed, babe. We’ll talk in the morning.” He slides out of her overalls.

Eve begins to crawl in the bed next to Villanelle and pauses. “You hired her to kill your parents, didn’t you?”

Sean laughs and his head bobbles. “Fine, yes.” He takes in a deep breath and lets out a tired sigh. “You two are a lot alike.”

Eve nods without thinking and climbs into bed with Villanelle. A hand jerks around her waist and pulls her closer. Villanelle’s nose presses into her hair.  _ You two are a lot alike. _ That should have terrified Eve. Being compared to a psychopathic assassin. Villanelle humming in peace beside Eve’s ear should terrify Eve. Instead something finally settles into place in her chest and fills her with warmth. Whatever Eve has been searching for her entire life she’s finally found. Her entire existence was based on getting here. The discontent of her desk job at MI5. The lack of passion in her marriage with Niko. It was all because her soul wasn’t where it belonged. 

Instead of being terrified, Eve is filled with absolute obsession and devotion for the woman next to her. The soul next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So listen... I know I'm only doing one chapter a day. I'm sorry. I'm doing a massive 30x24 painting rn and time flies


	27. I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places

    Eve leaves a sleeping Villanelle and arrives a little late to the office. Carolyn nods when Eve walks in and doesn’t seem to mind. Elena tries to say something and Eve blows past her and sits on the opposite side of Hugo. 

    “As you know,” Carolyn speaks, “You guys were required to sign a disclaimer that Villanelle’s identity wasn’t to be revealed. Things happened and that is no longer in affect. Now, if you give your attention to Eve, she’ll explain what happened last night.” Carolyn leaves the office when she finishes and Eve makes her way to the front of the room.

    “So, CyberSleep wasn’t a front for sex trafficking…” Eve explains how it was being used to recruit people for the Twelve. Eve mentions how one of the names was Raymond, but keeps Eliza to herself. There was something there, she wanted to talk to Villanelle about first. She finishes and makes her way to her desk.

    “Can we talk?” Elena asks and stands in front of Eve’s desk.

    “I’m busy,” Eve answers and doesn’t look up from her computer.

    “Villanelle was hiding it from you too,” Elena quips.

    Eve jerks her head up. “Villanelle isn’t my best friend. You are. You should have told me.”

    “Villanelle _killed_ your best friend, Eve. But yeah. Be mad at me.” Elena rolls her eyes and walks away. 

    Kenny catches Eve’s eye and ducks back down to his own computer. 

    Eve groans and finishes up researching the Peel’s for tomorrow’s meeting. 

* * *

****

    Villanelle is still asleep in bed when she gets back to Sean's flat at 4:30. Sean is downstairs working and waved at Eve before she came up. She takes off her heels and changes into jeans and a white t-shirt. Then she crawls onto the bed over the covers and stares at Villanelle. Bruises have darkened on her face and her eye has somehow swollen more shut. She must have woken up at some point because Eve can see the one of her own shirts hugging Villanelle's shoulders. Villanelle looks tender and endearing. Innocent.

    Eve traces her hand over where she can find unbruised skin. "I'm sorry." She isn't quite sure what for. After a few more minutes, she's gently shakes Villanelle awake. "Hey, you need to get some food and take your antibiotics."

    Villanelle doesn't open her eye but mumbles, "Okay."

    "That means you need to get up."

    "Oh." Villanelle opens her eye and then slowly smiles. "You're here."

    "You're concussed."

    "I've been worse." Villanelle touches Eve's face.

    Eve moves her head and kisses Villanelle's hand which elicits a small almost inaudible gasp. "I know, that's what scares me."

    "So where's this food?" Villanelle asks and sits up. 

    That was a quick change of conversation. It takes Eve a moment to catch up, but when she does she climbs out of the bed. "Well, I'm terrible at cooking and I don't figure you want to go out since you're on crutches…"

    "You want me to cook for myself? I'm practically dying," Villanelle complains. "I'm blind in one eye. That makes me legally blind."

    "It's just swollen shut. You aren't blind."

    "Can we get pizza?" Villanelle limps around the bed, refusing to grab her crutches. 

    "How many thoughts are going in your brain at one time?" Eve asks.

    "Seven," Villanelle answers without a second thought. "Food, your smile, killing someone, buying new clothes, you naked, making you cum, and your fingers inside me."

    Eve doesn't know how to react. Over half of Villanelle's thoughts were about her. Then there's the one about committing homicide that throws her off. The last three make Eve blush. "You're thinking about all of that, all at the same time?"

    Villanelle shrugs, grabs the first aid off the Sean's desk and sits on a stool. "I have _wild_ fantasies, Eve. But right now, will you help me rebandage my leg and hand?"

    "Yes, just a second. I'm going to grab your antibiotics and order the pizza."

    It feels weirdly domestic. She orders the pizza, carries a glass of water, and Villanelle's antibiotics over, then jumps up on the edge of the desk. They peel off the old bandages when Villanelle jumps up. "We should shower."

    "...Together?"

    Villanelle frantically nods like she will die if Eve says no. "Yes? I haven't showered since yesterday morning. I am gross. You'll need to shower some point tonight too. Let's just shower together."

    "You can't get your stitches wet."

    "I need to shower at some point, Eve. Just tape plastic wrap over the wounds. This isn't my _first_ time being stabbed.

    Eve rolls her eyes. "Fine, but no funny business. We have a pizza on the way."

    Villanelle looks offended. "You really think I would want our first time be a shower quickie with me looking like Frankenstein?" 

    After taping plastic wrap over her stitches, Villanelle joins Eve in the bathroom. Eve's still completely dressed and is preparing the water to a lukewarm temperature. Villanelle jerks it, so the water is steaming and then tugs on Eve's shirt. " _Eveee_ , you have to get naked to shower."

    "Yes, so why don't you worry about getting your own clothes off and let me take care of mine."

    Villanelle groans but slides her own panties off and kicks them up into the dirty laundry hamper, doing a small fist pump to herself when they land in. Then she pulls the shirt she stole from Eve off and tosses it towards the hamper, missing this time. 

    Eve's tugging off her jeans and can feel Villanelle's impatience. The floor is tiled white and had dark grey grouting and Eve _really_ doesn't want to look up. So without looking up she turns around to pull off her cheap underwear and bra. A finger pokes at the bottom of her shoulder blade and then at another spot.

    "You have freckles,” Villanelle points out.

    “Yeah?” Eve’s never really thought about how the disorientation of the dreams could make small details like freckles disappear.

    “I like them. I have freckles too.”

    “I noticed.”

    There’s a couple on her face by her eye. A few litter her arms. Eve remembers seeing a dark one on the inside of her thigh when she took her pants off the previous night.

    “Eve turn around. Look at my _freckles_.”

    Eve turns with her eyes trained on the blood splatter of ceiling. 

    “Eve. Look,” Villanelle repeats with the tone of a threat.

    The first place Eve’s eyes land on is the disformed pink burn scar and yellow bruising of the stab wound. There’s four freckles in the space between two perfect breasts. Definitely not flat-chested. Heat fills Eve’s cheeks as she notices Villanelle’s very pink and very hard nipples. Then her eyes travel back down to a dark patch of hair and toned long legs. Legs that move to get in the shower. Because that’s what they were doing.

    “Are you getting in? Or are you going to stand their and gawk?” Villanelle teases and then bends over with much more effort than was needed to pick up the shampoo bottle. “I want to wash your hair.”

    Eve slowly nods and gets into the shower. Cold hands situate her under the hot water. All the tension slides off of her and she thinks about the last month of her life that has gotten her here. How a month ago she was sleeping next to her husband and would go to work and laugh with Bill. How a month ago, Villanelle was just a dream and now Villanelle’s fingers are threading through her hair. Fingernails scratch at her scalp. Niko and Eve had grown out of the shower together phase. Instead showers became another boring thing in Eve’s life. Eve doesn’t suspect Villanelle will allow that happen anymore. 

    A month ago, the worst thing Eve had done was illegally signed Bill’s name to a document so she could interview a witness. Then she convinced him to go to Berlin with her. Then he died. Two weeks later Eve’s stabbed someone, and murdered another. Eve killed someone.

    “Eve, you’re shaking,” Villanelle informs Eve and turns her around. “You’re crying… what’s wrong?”

    “I killed someone. I shot him and…”

    “And you don’t feel guilty?” Villanelle adds in the left out part.

    “He was going to kill you.”

    Villanelle grabs the shower head and turns Eve back around. The water pelts through Eve’s hair and washes the shampoo out. “How did it make you feel?”

    Eve considers it. In the moment there was just so many emotions that she was left feeling dizzy and overwhelmed. “Intoxicated.”

    “ _Intoxicated_. I like that.”

    “Is that what you feel?” Eve turns and watches Villanelle replace the shower head soap up her own hair. 

    “I feel empty.” Villanelle’s eyes are shut and her neck stretches as she leans her head back. “It’s like the world’s smallest orgasm and only last a few seconds before it’s gone. I like the part before the killing.”

    “The control.”

    “Yes, that. That’s what I like about sex, too. Being able to make someone so vulnerable and having complete control.”

    “So you don’t ever feel anything?”

    Villanelle’s eyes jerk open and she tilts her head. “I feel things when I’m with you.”

* * *

****

    Around 6, Sean walked upstairs and informed them he was going to let them talk. Villanelle brings her hand down on the top of her fourth beer of the night, showing Eve she can pop the cap of a beer off with the edge of Sean's desk. Eve laughs and steals the beer and Villanelle realizes she’s been manipulated.

    “You just wanted me to do that so I would be closer and you could steal the beer.”

    “Maybe.”

    Villanelle smirks and leans in. When Eve’s eyes close, she steals Eve’s slice of pizza and the beer back. “Two can play at that game.”

    Eve can feel the ghost of Villanelle’s lips but by the time she’s leaning forward the girl is gone. She opens her eyes and glares at Villanelle, who’s taken seat in the rolling office chair. If they had kissed it would have been their first real kiss. “What are we?” Eve blurts out.

    Villanelle laughs. “Not teenagers.”

    “I know, but still. We’ve had… you know…”

    “Sex?”

    “Yeah.” Eve gets up and makes her way to the fridge to grab her fifth beer.

    “That was just in the dreams. Does that count?” Villanelle props her legs up on the desk, forcing Eve to walk the long way around.

    “I don’t know.”

    “I want whatever you’ll give me Eve. I’ll _take_ everything you give me.”

    “That sounds a bit greedy.”

    “It is.” Villanelle shrugs and takes a sip of beer. “I figured we would get your stuff moved into my flat and we’d just be... girlfriends.”

    “Like tomorrow?”

    “Yeah?”

    “We barely know each other. Isn’t that a bit...fast? We should start as friends.”

    Villanelle stands up and turns.

    “What are you doing?” Eve asks.

    Villanelle slips into Sean’s closet and Eve follows.

    “Villanelle!” Eve shouts to get her attention.

    With red leather leggings and a white see through blouse, Villanelle stops and raises an eyebrow at Eve.

    “What are you doing?”

    “I was going to go have sex with someone since I’m single.” She pushes past Eve.

    Eve follows and watches as Villanelle slides into perfect fitting leggings. “What? You’re not going anywhere.”

    “And who’s stopping me? My girlfriend? Oh wait. I don’t have one.”

    “Villanelle you’re being childish.”

    “No, I’m not!” Villanelle yells like a kid. She collects herself. “I’m going to Land of Lost Dreams. Do you want to join me, _friend_?”

* * *

****

    Villanelle makes Eve regret her decision to join her when she tells the bouncer, ‘We’re soulmates, but she just wants to be friends.” His eyes widened for a second before he steps out of their way. Villanelle leaves Eve’s side and ignores the weird looks she gets for having a swollen black eye. The throbbing music makes her head hurt. For once, she misses the shitty grunge music that played the first time she came. 

    People bump into her as she slides into the dancing crowd. When hands find their way on her hips, she stops running and twists to see her prey. Except it’s Sean.

    “What are you doing here, babe?” His pupils are completely blown.

    “I’m having fun, but it seems like you’re having more fun than me.”

    The corner of his lips rise and he digs his hand in his pocket. “I think we can get you caught up.” He holds up a baggie of pressed teal pills. 

    “Sounds good.” Villanelle takes the baggie and swallows two pills. Then she turns and makes out with the nearest girl. Wraps her arms around the back of the girl’s neck and fucks up the girl’s make up. 

    “Holy shit,” the woman says when Villanelle pulls away.

    Barely registering it, Villanelle nods walks away to kiss someone else. Then another person. After the fifth she feels eyes burning into the back of her head. Eve stares at her and looks quickly away when their eyes connect. It satisfies Villanelle.

Someone grabs her hand and leads her to a dark corner and begins sucking on her neck. She lowers their head and stares at Eve while they tug her pants down. Her eyes never leave Eve the entire time and when she finishes she still doesn’t look at whoever her partner was. Instead she pulls her leggings up and walks back onto the dance floor. 

    She ends up at the bar. Not in front of it. But behind it, wearing similar angel wings as the bartender at CyberSleep. Villanelle makes her way up to a girl that looks similar to her in the sense she was tall and blonde.

    “Hi there,” Villanelle says.

    “Uh...hi?”

    “I’m Villanelle. I don’t work here and I can’t bartend.” She sits down the metal shaker in her hand to instead hold a hand out to the other woman.

    “I’m Leah.”

    “Yeah, I don’t give a fuck. Do you see that woman over there?” Villanelle points to a somber looking Eve.

    “Yeah, I almost went home with her last week.”

    “Try again.”

    Lean scrunches her eyebrows together. “Do you know her?”

    “Sure. Just go talk to her.”

    Villanelle watches as Leah picks up her drink and sits beside Eve. After a few moments Eve laughs and looks back at that dance floor looking for someone.

    “What are you doing, darling?” Sean slides into an empty barstool.

    Villanelle hops over the bar and sits beside Sean. “Can you get them to play different music?”

    “Of course I can. I practically own this place.” He stands up and kisses the top of her head. “90’s punk coming up.”

    Leah whispers in Eve’s ear and then the pair stand up. Instead of walking towards the dance floor they walked toward the exit. Before following Leah out, Eve turns and looks directly at Villanelle for a few seconds. She shakes her head and follows Leah out. Villanelle laughs to herself. 


	28. We'll keep falling on each other to fill empty spaces

Three more hours till Eve and Carolyn go to meet the Peel’s. Eve needed these three hours to sober up. Her hand goes up to pull up her turtleneck for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. Last thing she needed was for Elena to think she slept with Villanelle. Not that having sex with a stranger was much better. 

As Eve lets her head hit the desk, the office door swung in. Villanelle swagger in wearing the lavender suit Sean had been working on, and heart shaped sunglasses. Her hair is up in a perfect messy bun because of course even a messy bun is perfect when done by Villanelle. In her right hand is a full cup holder carrying four coffees and one milkshake looking coffee in her left hand. She places a coffee on Eve’s desk first, which came with a small, ‘Sleep good?’, then Jess, Elena, and Kenny, before sitting down at the empty desk in the room.

“You forgot about me,” Hugo announces.

Villanelle takes off her sunglasses revealing two black eyes instead of one. “I’ll make up to you.” She leans forward. “Meet me at the shop on the corner before work tomorrow and I’ll let you buy me a coffee.”

Hugo’s eyes widen for a moment before he collects himself. “Yeah, okay.”

Eve rolls her eyes at Villanelle’s flirting. So Eve pushes herself back into her work. They knew Villanelle wasn’t the one killing these people, so that meant there was a new assassin. Someone that didn’t really enjoy killing either because all of the crime scenes were clean. So someone that became an assassin out of necessity. Although Villanelle became one out of necessity too and she enjoys killing. They need a lead to bring to the Peel’s.

“Hey, Villanelle?” Eve called out.

“I’m busy.”

Eve looks up and sees busy means Villanelle is trying to balance a pencil on her nose while leaning back. She gets up and swipes the pencil from Villanelle, who, in turn, looks extremely offended. “We need to talk.”

“About the woman you had sex with in Sean’s bed? You know he’s pissed at you right?” Villanelle draws the attention of the others in the office. 

Eve crosses her arms. “No about Eliza.”

A shoulder meets with Eve’s and she turns to see Villanelle slamming open the office door to the hallway. After taking a second to recover she walks out to join the woman.

Villanelle leans on the opposite wall and every muscle in her body is tight. Her good hand clenches and unclenches. “What do you want to know about  _ her _ ?”

Eve clicks the door shut and mirrors Villanelle on the wall beside the door. “Who is she?”

“She was a friend.”

“So you slept with her?”

“No!” Villanelle looks down and picks at a hangnail. “When I lived here, she was a teenager. Her parents were… out of the picture and Octavius and Harry took care of her. Which trickled down to us all taking care of her. You saw what Charlie looked like, yeah? I did that to him because he was going to sell Eliza. I protect my own.”

“Okay… so what happened to Eliza?”

“I found her in the basement of CyberSleep. She was fine and I got her in my car. We were almost out of Brighton when someone drove into the back right side of my car. Eliza… she looked fine… I couldn’t get caught… I called an ambulance and left.” Villanelle’s voice cracks. “I left her alone.” 

Eve steps forward to comfort Villanelle.

Villanelle jerks away. “The hospital told me she died of internal bleeding.”

Before speaking Eve gives Villanelle a few seconds of silence to collect herself. “Is it possible Eliza is still alive?”

“She is. Charlie confirmed it before you shot him through the throat.”

Her stomach churns. “Is it possible she’s the one doing the Peel assassinations? You said she was a teenager so it’s possible she doesn’t like all the blood and gore like…”

“Like I do? Because I’m a  _ monster _ .”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t need to.” Villanelle shakes her head and pushes off the wall. “I’ll get you a picture of her to take to the Peels.”

“How did you-”

“Eve, I’m exceptionally smart. The smartest person in that room. It’s not hard to figure out why you were asking.” 

“That’s arrogant.”

“ _ E’ vero _ ,” Villanelle says in a language Eve doesn’t understand but is able to get the gist.

“Whatever, I need that picture,” Eve glances at her watch, “in an hour.” She leaves Villanelle alone in the hallway.

* * *

****

The picture Villanelle texts Eve catches her off guard. Sean and Villanelle stand shoulder to shoulder holding a short, brunette teenager. All three of them have a large genuine smile. Villanelle hair is gelled into a bright teal mohawk that matches Sean's mohawk in the picture. All three of them dressed is black, grunge clothes.

Villanelle now, is sitting at her desk and doesn't even look up from her phone to see Eve's reaction. Lavender suit, and messy bun. A completely different woman than the one in the picture.

"Are you ready, Eve?" Carolyn pops her head in to the office and looks impatient.

Eve nods and gets up. She turns to grab her coat and when she turns back, Villanelle is missing from her desk. Her jacket hands on the back of the swaying chair. 

"Be careful who you trust Eve," Villanelle whispers.

Eve jumps when she feels Villanelle's hand on her back. "What are you doing?"

"Grabbing a pencil. All of mine are unbalanced so I'm going to check yours while you are with the Peels," Villanelle talks in a normal pitch. She stretches over Eve's desk and grabs the entire cup of pencils and pens. "Thank you."

* * *

 

Aaron Peel is a smug asshole who enjoys talking down to everybody. Eve is fuming in Carolyn's car as they drive back to the office. He may act like he doesn't believe that his father was murdered by Eve saw the curiosity in his eyes. Like he already knew. 

"So who was that girl in the picture?" Carolyn asks and taps her nails against the steering wheel.

"It's one of the girls that was caught up with Charlie. Except this one died."

"And you don't think she is dead." It's more a statement than a question.

"No, I don't. Listen she was seventeen when she apparently died which would put her at eighteen now. Nobody is going to look twice at a not white, young woman. As far as people like Aaron and Peel employees think, that's where someone of that description belong. They all look the same to them."

"Alright, that's a good start. Have Kenny look into the hospital that declared her dead. Check with her friends and family to see if they saw her body at a funeral or anything. Good work, Eve."

"Thanks."

"How is Villanelle?"

"What do you mean?"

"Has she been behaved? No extra attention-seeking? Recklessness? I did notice she had two black eyes instead of one today. And she definitely isn't going to be ecstatic about you investigating a new assassin."

"No, Villanelle has been…"  _ angry _ , "good. She's been good." Eve watches buildings pass.

"How about you?"

Eve leans away from the window and looks at Carolyn. "What about me?"

"Have you been behaved? Sleeping well? I know someone in your  _ predicament _ sometimes experience stress."

Predicament must be the new way to pronounce you murdered someone. "I'm good. I'm fine."

"Are you Eve? It is crucial that you and Villanelle stay calm and collected for this case."

"Well me being a little stressed is a little different than a psychopath being stressed," Eve jokes.

"Is it?" Carolyn asks.

The conversation hangs in the air and Eve lets her head bounce off the window.

* * *

****

"Tell me it wasn't you who killed him, Villanelle," Octavius greets Villanelle with a pint.

She grabs and chugs half of it before speaking, "I'm doing fine."

"Shit, I'm sorry. Take a seat, I'll get you another pint." Octavius slips back behind the bar

Villanelle sits two seats down from some anxious bastard who gets up after she stares for a few moments.

"What happened?" 

She shrugs. "I was just paying him a visit. He had me handcuffed to a chair. Then! Handcuffed to a pipe."

"Well you did break half his face the last time he saw you, kid.”

“Yeah, and he was going to give Eliza over to a group that makes assassins.”

“What? I thought-”

“Nope.” Villanelle pops the p and chugs the second half of her pint. “They want a new me.”

“So it’s the same people as Konstantin?”

“Yep.” Then she frowns. “No one ever told me how you two knew each other.”

“We’re old friends.”

“Do you work for  _ them _ ?”

Octavius laughs. “No, I don’t think I’d be able to stomach it. I’m not a fan of all the gore.”

“Was Eliza?”

“No, the girl fainted when there was a bar fight and she was supposed to clean up the blood.” He tosses a bar towel over his shoulder. “Why?”

“She’s not dead and I need to find her before MI6 does.”

His eyes widen. “You know that for a fact?”

“I do. And she’s really fucking good, too. But she also has to be in London or near London and the first person she’s going to go to is you.” 

“You accusing me of something?”

“Yeah. Tell me where she is.”

“I haven’t had any contact with her, but if there were rumors-”

“Which there always is.”

“Then rumor is Manny’s been leaving the bar early at nights to go visit a  _ friend _ . You just missed her tonight.”

Villanelle nods and stands up.

“You’re going to make sure MI6 doesn’t get a hold of her right?”

She smiles. “They won't even know she's in London.”

* * *

****

Two nights later, the first being spent to just make sure it was Eliza, Villanelle sits on a rooftop with a sniper and Konstantin beside her. Through the scope she watches the front of the apartment building.

“Did you know Eve has a girlfriend?” Konstantin asks.

“Sure.”

“They were at a bar last night. I was going in to meet with some contacts and you should have seen-”

“I really don’t give care about her. She can do what she wants.”

Konstantin laughs.

Villanelle feels a piece of popcorn hit the side of her face. She turns to face him, wide eyes and mouth agape. “I don’t!”

“So that’s why you’re being a couch potato again?”

“I found Eliza didn’t I?” Villanelle looks back through the scope and watches a woman with a shaved head walk out of the apartment building carrying a bag of trash. She flashes the red light on the side wall just behind her twice. Then moves the scope to watch Eve.

Eve walks up to Eliza and ‘accidentally’ runs into her.

“Oh, dammit,” Eve speaks through the ear piece. She bends over to help Eliza pick up the trash. “I’m sorry. I can be so clumsy.”

Eliza has the same small shy laugh. “It’s fine. I’ve done it to plenty of people.”

“Yeah?” Eve stands up and holds the bag out to Eliza. She doesn’t let go when Eliza tries to take it from her. “You’ve also killed plenty of people.”

Villanelle can’t see their facial expressions, but she turns the light on to catch the corner of Eliza’s eye. 

“I recommend you come with me and live. Otherwise,  _ Villanelle _ , who isn’t afraid of blood, will decorate my shirt with it,” Eve threats.

Well… that was hot. Villanelle wolf whistles quietly. Konstantin chuckles behind her.

“I’ll come with you,” Eliza says.

“Alright. Villanelle, I’ll get her to the office. You turn in that equipment and head home for the night.”

She pulls back the sniper and takes it apart to place in the box. Konstantin picks up his lawn chair. The sniper case clicks shut and the pair nod before making their way to the fire escape. 

“I’m proud of you.”

“Oh god, not this again.”

“No, I am. I know how you felt about Eliza-”

Villanelle stops and twists around. She holds a knife to Konstantin’s throat. “I don’t care what happens to her. I just want to do my job, and I want to do it good. I like flat and I like the pay.”

He raises his hands. “Alright.”


	29. But I won't stop this and you won't stop this

Hugo drives a red Porsche his daddy bought for him. Villanelle spills coffee on the white seats and she tells him to shut the fuck up about it as straddles him. It's eight in the morning and Eve just had to talk like that last night. Just had to walk into work wearing those black heels that make her ass look great.

Her hands hook under Hugo's belt and her ass hits the steering wheel. A loud honk and anybody near the car is giving judgemental looks. Hugo reaches in the middle console for a condom. Villanelle tugs down her trousers, a pair of high waisted pink ones that she is really regretting right now. Then she slides over her silk red panties and lowers herself onto Hugo.

"Shit, you really-"

Villanelle presses her bad hand against Hugo's mouth and her good hand against the back of the car seat. "Don't talk."  _ Don't talk so I can imagine Eve telling me what to do,  _ Villanelle thinks. 

Eve would tell Villanelle to slow down. Take her time.

But she doesn't have time because Eve's interrogating Eliza right now and Hugo and Villanelle are running late.

If she went in there, would Eve tell Villanelle what to do?

_I need you to interrogate, Eliza,_ _whatever it takes. Just find out who hired her._

Villanelle would be good.  _ Fuck _ . She would be so good for Eve. She'll even ask if Eve wants to watch. 

Eve would say no, but would want to say yes.

Or maybe Eve would come in.

Tell her when to hurt, Eliza. When to question, Eliza. Show her the balance so Villanelle doesn't just make Eliza break, but they still get their information.

Maybe Eve would help Villanelle.

_ Show me how you do it Villanelle. _

Villanelle would take Eve's hand and say,  _ Just like this. _

With that thought her body tightens and she bites the back of her knuckles to prevent from crying out Eve's name.

* * *

 

 

Eve's watching Charles scream at Eliza. It was a weird sight. A fifty year old man red-faced and fisting pounding, while the eighteen year old girl stares at him with a direct and intense gaze.

"There's no way that the same people that trained Villanelle trained her," Eve says to Jess. Elena and her weren't still on talking terms so she had Jess be her work friend now. It was a smarter option anyways, Jess being almost her age and not having the emotional baggage of Bill.

"Maybe they thought Villanelle was their mistake. Girl's more flamboyant than Hugo," Jess replies.

"Where are they? They're both running late." 

Jess groans. "Oh, they're here."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say Villanelle is matching Hugo's car."

"Any luck?" Carolyn walks in and interrupts their conversation.

"I think we found Charles weakness. Eighteen year old feminists," Jess says and sits down her coffee.

"Well, that was a given. The man is as backwards as a shirt of someone having an affair," Carolyn says as if it was a normal saying. "Eve, why don't you question her?"

"Me? Are you sure? I've never-"

"You interviewed that one woman who was killed by Villanelle and managed to figure out that it was Villanelle. So show me you aren't just an expert on Villanelle, and actually an expert on female assassins."

* * *

 

 

Eve crosses her legs. Then uncrosses them because she wants to seem open. But what if open legs meant she was being intimidating. She recrosses them deciding to look relaxed. Eliza watches with a twinkle in her eye.

"You're quite young for this type of work."

Eliza raises an eyebrow.

"You don't care for blood though do you?"

"Do you?" Eliza asks and tilts her head.

Eve leans back in her chair. That's what Villanelle did when she wanted to look uncaring, right? "It doesn't bother me. No different that water."

Except it was. Blood was sticky, warm, and human.

"Then why don't you become an assassin?"

"It's not that easy."

Eliza chuckles. "I don't know. You seem pretty good at hurting people."

"What?"

"You're  _ Love _ , right?"

The door opens behind Eve. The first thing Eve takes in is the lack of red in Villanelle's outfit. Villanelle hands Eve a coffee and sits beside her. 

"What are you doing?" Eve hisses.

Villanelle sits with her legs crossed at the ankles and stretched out, almost laying in the metal chair, she looks so relaxed. "Carolyn said you might need some motivation." Then she stands and walks over to the mirror. Metal clangs as she pulls down the shutter and then sits against the desk facing Eve. Smirk plastered on her face. "Carolyn also wanted me to let you know that you don't have to stay here. You can go back out there and not have a clue what's going on in here."

"I'll stay."

Her smirk faltered for a second before returning in full force. She shakes her shoulders in a shimmy, "You like to watch," then she sits back down. "Hi, Ellie."

Eliza's jaw tightens.

"What were you two talking about?"

"We were just starting to talk about you," Eve explains.

"Oh, really? That's my favorite topic," Villanelle says with delighted glee. "Well, Eve, I know I haven't told you about Eliza so Ellie… what were you telling Eve?"

"Why are you working for  _ her _ ?" Eliza practically spits venom.

Villanelle shrugs. "I like her when she's not being an asshole." Then she brings up a hand like she's going to whisper. "Plus, she's really beautiful."

Eve goes to smack Villanelle's thigh and regrets that decision because Villanelle grabs her hand and sits it on the inside of her thigh. A death grip holding it there. "Eliza, who hired you?" Eve asks when desperation.

Eliza presses her back against her metal chair and shrugs.

"How's Manny?"

"I don't know."

Villanelle flashes forward and grips Eliza's cuffed hands. Her right hand wraps around Eliza's index finger. "Is that so?" She slowly starts pushing Eliza's finger back. "We found her in your- Don't do that." Villanelle switches to Eve.

Eve's hand freezes from where she was beginning to lift it from Villanelle's thigh. 

"Put it back," Villanelle orders.

Such a small phrase that slides between Eve's thighs and makes Eve want. Eve remembers the last time she wanted so vehemently. She decided then to do, and then stuck a knife into Villanelle. This time she decides to place her hand back on Villanelle's thigh, higher than where it originally was, and then she digs her nails in.

"Good girl," Villanelle practically moans.

Then there's a crack and an air piercing shrill of a scream. Tears run down Eliza's face and Villanelle stares at Eve with dark eyes before turning to Eliza. "So, as I was saying, we found Samantha Erikson in your apartment. We brought..."

As Villanelle talks Eve loosens her fingers and teases higher up Villanelle's thigh. When her fingers move, Villanelle moves her hand to the next finger on Eliza's hand. A theory forms in Eve's mind and she decides to test it out. Her nails dig through the pink trousers and into Villanelle's skin again. She does it slow.

Villanelle slowly pushes back on Eliza's middle finger. Her eyes beg Eve to go faster, pupils blown and jaw ever so slacked. Eve imagines she can hear the tendons tearing in Eliza's finger. So she pushes her fingers as tight as she can and instead of sobs, she hears her heart pounding in her ears.

"Again," Villanelle whispers with perverse desperation to please Eve.

And Eve does. She curls her fingers, fast and hard, and there's another shriek of pain. 

* * *

 

 

Eve's been called a psychopath three times in her life. 

The first she had been 9 years old. Little Eve Song, with wild hair, and smaller than all the other kids. Little Eve Song, with a curiosity bigger than she stood tall. Little Eve Song who cut into stray cats because she was curious about what sort of pressure it would require pierce their skin. She had been doing it for a little over a year now and really didn't think much of it when she told her parents when she was going to play in the woods behind her Connecticut home. Except, her mom followed her this time because she was also curious to what intrigued her daughter. There had been a small cry of surprise and yelling. Then silence as she drug Eve back to the house and shoved her in the bathroom to take a bath. In the silence of the bathroom, little Eve Song heard her mom say her daughter was a psychopath and her dad needed to have her hospitalized. She didn't hear the response but when she dressed in her nightly pyjamas and climbed out of the bath, her dad had his head in his hands and Eve's mom was gone.

The second time Eve had been called a psychopath was her final year of University. She had struggled with her social psychology class and the T.A. made it pretty obvious he had a crush on her so she did what she needed to pass the class. A few dates and then she slept with him and he started following her around like a lost puppy. She didn't want to break it off before she was done with the class because she knew without his help she wouldn't pass the class. So she started dating him. He bored her and didn't enjoy anything fun but he was comfortable. He didn't judge when she went clubbing, or when she was too into a cold case documentary. He just loved her. The week after finals she told one of her Uni friends about how she didn't even want to date the guy and only did it so she could pass the class. Her friend called her a psycho bitch for using someone who genuinely loved her like that. So, Eve didn't break up with him because she decided she could deal with comfortable and she wasn't a psychopath. A few years later she married him, and little Eve Song became kind Eve Polastri.

The third time Eve is called a psychopath it's in a silent room sitting across from an 18 year old girl with five broken fingers, one broken wrist, and a dislocated shoulder. The door clicks behind Villanelle who left the room first. Eliza lets out small sobs, a mixture of pain and fear, and all Eve cares about is the throbbing between her legs and how badly she wants to leave the room to fuck Villanelle. Eve knows her underwear is ruined and Eve knows Villanelle is in that hallway pacing back and forth, waiting for Eve to come out, waiting to shove Eve against a wall, waiting to take Eve home and make Eve scream. In pleasure compared to the screams that happened in this room.

"You're both fucking psychopaths," Eliza says when her breathing has calmed.

Eve stands up, straights her shirt, pushes her chair in. All completely sane things and she looks normal. She smiles and tells Eliza, "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God these two are a bit fucked up aren't they?


	30. It'll probably go further than either of us wanted

"Well, what did you find out?" Carolyn is in the hallway instead of Villanelle.

"I… she… I'm going to use the loo, real quick," Eve says and doesn't wait for Carolyn's respond. 

In the bathroom, her back is slammed against the door and a mouth attacks her neck. A thigh slides between her legs, Eve gasps and her hands dig into blonde hair. She pulls Villanelle's mouth to hers, and there's teeth, and violence. Copper fills her mouth, then Villanelle's tongue swirls around to taste it too. The thigh presses up and Eve moans because it feels good, moans because she wants this. Oh god does she want this. 

Villanelle pulls away panting. "Was I good for you?" Hands undo the buttons on Eve's pale blue chambray blouse.  _ "Eve _ , did I do what you wanted?"

"Yes," Eve moans.

Villanelle's teeth graze her jugular. "Is it your turn to be my good girl?" The words vibrate against Eve's throat. She pulls Eve shirt out of her black slacks so she can undo the last two buttons. "I'm going to fuck you."

Direct, blunt, and entirely too hot. "Please." Eve's head hits the door behind her.

Villanelle pulls back. She pins Eve's hands to the wall on each side of her head.. Her gaze burns into Eve with an unhinged craving. "You want me to fuck you? You want me to make you scream?"

Eve nods. "Yes, please. Please, Villanelle."

Villanelle mocks Eve's nodding. "I'm going to make you  _ mine _ ."

Jesus, that shouldn't be so hot. Villanelle moves so she's holding both of Eve's hands in one hand above Eve's head and the other finds it place tracing along the waistband of Eve's slacks. Her hips jerk forward, begging for Villanelle's touch.

"God, look at how desperate you are. Tell me Eve…" Villanelle leans next to Eve's ear. "When I pull down your pants, are you  _ already _ going to be soaking wet for me?"

"Villanelle, fuck, just fucking-"

Villanelle grips Eve's neck and kisses her harshly. Her teeth press into Eve's lip and uses Eve's gasp to slide her tongue into Eve's mouth. It's everything she's ever dreamed of and more. 

She pulls away and keeps her hand around Eve's neck, studying it for a moment before making eye contact with Eve. "I said," she tightens her grip just enough to make Eve's eyes darken, "are you already going to be soaking wet for me?"

Eve desperately nods.

"I was going to worship you, Eve. Touch you everywhere, be gentle, make you feel so," she kisses Eve's jaw, "fucking," she nips at Eve's throat, "good." She drops to her knees. "If you touch me, you don't get to cum," Villanelle warns and yanks down Eve's pants and panties. A groan from the bottom of her throat escapes her lips when she sees how much Eve truly wants this. She bites over a bruise already on the inside of Eve's thigh to replace it. "Look how wet you are, baby. You should have told me you needed me this bad."

"Villanelle, please… oh my god," Eve moans while her head bangs off the door. One hand squeezes around the door handle and her other finds her breast.

Villanelle latches onto Eve's clit. She swirls deep circles around the swollen nub.

Eve bites the back of her hand that was on the door handle. Her hips ground down on Villanelle's face and she's fucking herself on Villanelle's tongue. A hand hooks on her elbow and tugs her fist away from her mouth.

She looks down at Villanelle who pulls away from where Eve desperately needs her.

"I want to hear you. Be a good girl and let me hear you. How does this feel?" Villanelle slides her tongue into Eve and uses her thumb to rub circles on Eve's clit.

"Fuck-fuck...it feels good. It feels-Fuck!" 

Villanelle moves her mouth back to Eve's clit and slides two fingers in Eve. Her eyes light up with Eve's moans. She curls her fingers to hit Eve's g-spot.

"Ohmygod!" Eve squeezes her tits and let's her head fall back again.

"Look at me,  _ Eve _ !" Villanelle whines. When their eyes connect, Villanelle thrusts her fingers deeper into Eve. "Do you want to cum?"

Eve nods.

Villanelle removes her fingers. "I asked you a question. Do you want to cum?"

"Yes, fuck yes. Villanelle please. Fuck. I need you, I need you to fuck me," Eve begs and wants to cry with how badly she needs. "I want to cum. Please, please, I need to cum."

Villanelle chuckles and slides her fingers back in. Three fingers instead of two. 

Her back arches and she's so fucking close. She doesn't know what she needs but she needs something more.

As if sensing it, Villanelle speaks low and slow, "Be a good girl and cum for me, Eve."

With a loud moan, that Villanelle is sure everyone in this office could hear, Eve's entire body stills as her muscles constrict around Villanelle's fingers, then pleasure washes over her and her body jerks, knees giving out and Villanelle rises to loop her free hand around Eve's waist to hold Eve up. She coats Villanelle's hand that’s helping her through her orgasm and when she's a panting mess with her head pressed to Villanelle's neck, Villanelle slides her hand out and licks Eve off her fingers. Groans at the taste of Eve.

"Such a good girl," Villanelle purrs and rubs circles into Eve's back. "I'm going to go tell Carolyn what we found out. You clean yourself up, okay?"

Eve moves her hand to between Villanelle's legs and cusps her through her pants. "What about you?"

Villanelle chuckles. "We'll take care of it later, baby." Then she pulls away and leaves the bathroom. Leaving Eve with the realization that they didn't even lock the door.

* * *

****

Jess and Carolyn raise an eyebrow each when Villanelle walks into the viewing room. They stay silent as she walks over to the coffee machine and chugs a paper cup full, ignoring how it burns her mouth. She tosses the empty cup into a bin and turns around, the corner of the table pressing against the back of her thighs.

"It was the son," she states and rubs her hand on her neck where Eve definitely left a hickey.

"Aaron? Why would Aaron hire an assassin?" Jess asks.

"He's selling a weapon. If they twelve sent Eliza, that means they probably want to buy it, although everyone wants to buy it." Villanelle shrugs and crosses her arms.

"Well, good work, Villanelle. How did Eve do?" Carolyn asks.

Villanelle's eyes flicker to Jess. "She did great. Kept me in line," the corners of her lips upturn as her thigh still throbs from Eve's nails, "she's the reason we managed to get anything out of Eliza."

"Not like you to be so humble," Jess points out.

"Well, I'm still fighting a bit of a concussion," Villanelle says and shrugs. "So are we going to bring Aaron in?"

"No, I want to do some of my own research first," Carolyn replies.

"Whatever floats your boat, boss."

Eve shoves open the door and walks in only looking slightly disheveled. The biggest sign of what happened minutes ago was her untucked shirt, which even that could be written up to sitting down and getting up a few times. Her eyes don't meet Villanelle's until she walks over to the coffee machine.

"Excuse me," she whispers.

Villanelle moves ever so slightly. "I was just telling Carolyn and Jess how good you did."

Pink flushes on Eve's chest and she glares at Villanelle. "Thanks," she says dryly. "So what happens now?"

"Go back to the office and inform the other three on what you two found out about Aaron. Look into anything about him selling his company and who's buying," Carolyn directs. "We need to play the long game. Anybody wanting to buy this weapon is just as dangerous as Aaron."

"Well, Eve and me are  _ amazing _ at playing the long game." Villanelle laughs and wraps an arm around Eve's shoulder.

* * *

****

They order a cab together without talking about it. Knees and fingertips brushing together with static electricity. Villanelle looks out the window while Eve tells the cab driver the address. It's a silent 20 minute drive with stares that go unnoticed. Eve will stare at Villanelle, the slight bouncing in her knee, her breathing being a little more heavier than usual, and how her tongue keeps shooting out to lick her lip. Then Eve will look away and it's Villanelle's turn to stare at Eve. Her fingers twist around a missing wedding ring, her hands run through her hair, she pulls out her cell phone and checks the time.

Then the cab pulls up next to Sean’s store and Villanelle pays the cab driver. Eve tries to unlock the gate to the stairs but Villanelle hooks her arms around Eve’s midsection and nips at Eve’s neck. She manages to unlock the gate without Villanelle’s help. Villanelle doesn’t drop her arms and makes Eve drag her into the stairway. Then she spins them around and presses Eve to the gate.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Villanelle groans against Eve’s lips.

“We need to go upstairs.”

“But, I could just fuck you right here. Upstairs is like another 30 seconds away,” Villanelle says 30 seconds like it’s years. Her hand slides down Eve’s back under the waistband of Eve’s pants, scratching the top of Eve’s ass. “Let me be good for you Eve.”

“Be good by having patience for once.” Eve grips Villanelle’s wrists and takes them off her body. 

Villanelle pouts but steps back. Her arm comes up to gesture for Eve to lead the way, then smacks Eve’s ass as she passes.

A box hits the wall beside Eve’s head when she walks in. Villanelle slides in behind her.

“Get the fuck out of my flat you bitch!” Sean yells and throws more of Eve’s stuff towards her. 

Villanelle watches with a slight smile.

“Sean, what the hell is going on?” Eve asks and picks up a shirt.

“You’re a fucking wanker! I should have never trusted a fucking fed.” He turns to Villanelle. “And  _ you _ . Just fucking ratted on Eliza because you wanted to be a good little whore for Eve?”

“Excuse me?” Villanelle asks.

Eve watches her façade falter for a second and pure rage shine in Villanelle’s eyes. Her hand curls into her fists, she tilts her head, then as if it never disappeared, her smile returns. Chills go down Eve’s spine.

“You really think selling Eliza out to MI6 would make Eve love you? You wanted to be a good girl for mommy?” He screwed up his face. “You’re both fucking psychopaths that just use each other and everyone.”

Villanelle begins to jump forward and Eve latches onto her elbow. “Give me an hour and I’ll get my stuff out of here.”

“Half an hour and then I kick you out.” The he looks Villanelle up and down, nastiliy, “and get you’re fucking pet on a leash.”

“I’ll fucking feed you your eye-”

“Hey,” Eve interrupts and places her hands on Villanelle’s abdomen. “Will you help get these boxes downstairs?”

Villanelle looks between Sean and Eve. “Yep. Anything,  _ friend _ . I’ll call Konstantin to drive over his van. Looks like we get to be fucking roommates.” She picks up a box and then catches the door handle with her free hand to slam it. The sound thunders off the wall.

“Sean…” Eve begins.

“You are a terrible person, Eve. Eliza is just a kid.”

“She’s killed people, Sean!”

“She’s not the only one. Villanelle didn’t get Charlie. If she had it would have been with her hands and not a gun. She hated the bastard.”

“I had no choice.”

“Eliza didn’t think she had one either.” He glances at his watch. “28 minutes.”

* * *

****

“Just put your stuff wherever.” Villanelle waves her hand when they carry the last box in. As Eve went from place to place, the number of boxes she cared to bring dwindled down to 7. “I’m going out.”

“What?” Eve asks confused. “Where are you going?”

“Wherever I go.”

“Are you mad at me?”

Villanelle doesn’t respond just grabs an army green peacoat and leaves the apartment. She wasn’t mad at Eve, she was just mad. Her hands twitched in the pockets of her coat as she thinks about wrapping them around Sean’s throat. The two had fought before but she didn’t like him talking to Eve like that. 

“Where are you going?” Konstantin asks, smoking a cigar against his van.

“I don’t know, where am I going?” She fires back.

Konstantin smiles and laughs. “You need a break from all this.” He gestures to the MI6 safe house. “Why don’t we go get a drink?”

“Okay.” She climbs into his van and waits for him.

They drive for a few minutes as he lets her calm down. Konstantin knows Villanelle needs to be the one to talk first. To set boundaries on what they talked about. She unwraps her hand and pokes at her stitches. Winces when it hurts. “Eve wouldn’t let me kill Sean.”

Konstantin glances over surprised. “You were going to kill Sean?”

“He called Eve a psychopath… I didn’t like it.”

“You like when people call you a psychopath.” He turns into a fancy pub wanting to make Villanelle feel comfortable.

“Well, yeah. That’s because that means they are scared of me. He said it to Eve like Eve was… like it was true.” She wraps her hand back up.

“But it isn’t is it?” Konstantin asks.

“I don’t know,” Villanelle admits. 

Konstantin taps his fingers on the steering wheel and then scratches his beard, debating something. “This stays between you and me, okay?”

Villanelle nods.

“Tomorrow Carolyn has this guy coming in. He’s going to do a little lesson on psychopaths. During that lesson he’s really there to evaluate you and Eve.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“If you want, I can find out the results and tell you.”


	31. I am falling in love with you

Moist, warm, grey walls without a single window or door. One light swings by it’s wires from the ceiling. Villanelle can feel sweat drip off her back and onto the floor. Since her dream with Eve the night before Eve killed Charlie, she’s been having nightmares ranging from isolation like this one, to ones full of blood, and hate.

“Can I lay down beside you?”

Villanelle peeks open an eye. “Sure.” Then she closes her eyes again.

Eve lays down close to her, close enough she can feel the edge of Eve’s sleeve brushing her. “You’re scar seems to be healing good.”

Oh, yeah. She was in her uniform from when she was trained by the twelve. A black combat sports bra and black cargo pants. Which meant her scar was on full display. “Yeah, it’s going to be ugly, though.”

“I like it.”

“You’re the one that did it.”

“I did not force you to brutally cauterize it shut.”

“You basically did.”

“I was getting supplies to help you!”

“I would have killed you if I stayed,” Villanelle admits.

“Like how you would have killed Sean if I didn’t stop you.”

“Yes.” Villanelle rolls over to face Eve.

Eve does the same.

“It’s not that I want to kill either of you. I just get so angry and I am impulsive.”

“You can’t just kill everyone who makes you mad.” Eve prepares her next argument knowing Villanelle will argue her statement.

Villanelle doesn’t. “I know. I’m trying to control it.”

Shock flashes on Eve’s face. “Why?”

“Because of you.”

Eve groans and gets up. "Don't do that."

Villanelle props herself up on her elbows and watches Eve. "Do what?"

"Say things that make me think I love you."

"But you do love me."

Eve stares at her. She doesn't even bother opening her mouth to form a reply because she wasn't going to lie and she didn't want to say the truth. Instead she sits down in front Villanelle. "I want to know you. The real you."

Villanelle pushes herself and up to mirror Eve. "Um...okay. What do you want to know?"

"The picture. The one with you, Sean and Eliza. Tell me about that day."

Villanelle laughs. "It was Eliza's seventeenth birthday. She wanted to go see some punk rock band."

"What was it like? Did you enjoy it?"

"It was fun, I guess. Entertaining. But the whole time I just wanted it to be over to I could go home and go to bed."  _ So I could see you _ , was left unsaid.

"Did you actually dye your hair?"

"No."

"Did you like-" Eve keeps asking a thousand questions.

"Eve." Villanelle interrupts her. "You want to know the real me?"

"Yes."

"Then listen to what I tell you. Turn your curiosity off and genuinely understand what I say."

"I do," Eve argues.

"No you don't. When I answer a question, you're already waiting to ask your next question."

"I don't do that."

"Did I enjoy the concert?"

Eve pauses and she realizes she didn't really listen to Villanelle's answer. "Yeah." Because Villanelle enjoys everything she does.

Villanelle scoffs and lays back down. "Eve, when you're ready to listen, I'll talk."

* * *

 

****

Carolyn walks into the office looking mildly annoyed. Behind her walks a tall blonde child with the world's cheekiest grin. Villanelle's dressed in Proenza Schouler checked wide legged pants with a black bodysuit. Blonde hair braided into two boxer braids on both shoulders.

Villanelle winks when she catches Eve's checking her out and makes a beeline to Eve's desk. She perches herself against the edge of it. "Hey, partner."

"Why were you with Carolyn?" Eve asks as Carolyn talks to Elena and Kenny for a moment.

"I spent the night at her house."

"What?" Did she hear her right?

"I slept at Carolyn's. Konstantin and me went out and had a few drinks. He thought it would be better for me to sleep there then at a stranger's house." Then Villanelle screws her face up. "You didn't think I slept with Carolyn did you?"

"I… you two both… yeah, I did."

Villanelle laughs and pats Eve's back as she stands up straight. "We have a school lesson today, and then you and me are going back to my flat."

Redness crawls up Eve's cheeks. "What?"

"Carolyn has someone coming into to warn us about the dangers of a psychopath. Then you have to brief me on the Peels before I go all incognito. We've got to create a new persona and everything." Then Villanelle bends down by Eve's ear. "There's thirty minutes until the psychopath briefing and an empty office across the hall."

* * *

 

****

Eve's heels dig into Villanelle's back as her own back arches off an empty desk. 

Villanelle has three fingers inside her and her tongue curls around Eve's clit while maintaining eye contact. "More," Eve moans. Her thighs are shaking and she's not even quite sure Villanelle can breath.

But Villanelle is in a mood where she doesn't want to listen and pulls away from Eve. She stands up, licks off her fingers in a way that's more out of need than want, but she still moans at the taste. "Get dressed." She bends over and starts pulling up Eve's pants.

"No," Eve whines. "I know you're mad at-"

"Eve, I'm being serious. We have five minutes to get out of this office before they start the psycho brief and Carolyn wanted me to get everything out of the way and set up the chairs."

"Oh." 

"Pull up your pants, Eve.” Villanelle starts pushing the desk Eve had come on twice already. 

Eve, slightly disoriented still, pulls up her pants and does her belt. She watches Villanelle moves stuff with little effort and then Villanelle’s in front of her. A thumb runs across the corner of her lips.

“You’re lipstick was smudged. Now, can you help me and go get the projector?”

Reality hits Eve and she’s lucky Villanelle even cared enough to watch the time. She groans but nods. 

Villanelle smiles and smacks her ass. “Such a good girl. I promise I’ll make it up to you later,  _ friend _ .”

They manage to get the room ready and not look suspicious because they’re in a full argument when the others walk in. 

“Villanelle. I swear to god, you can’t put the projector screen there. The sun’s reflection will make it impossible to see.”

“Eve, I’m not going to stare into the fucking sun. I want it here so after the stupid presentation  _ I  _ can still see.”

“I’m not saying to put it against the windows. There’s still two other walls!”

The group that just walked in heads bounce back and forth as if they were watching a tennis match. Hugo and Elena watch with a small smile while Kenny and Jess look mildly concerned. Kenny for Eve’s life and Jess for Villanelle’s. Martin watches with tired knowing eyes.

“I already put all the chairs so they’re facing this way!” Villanelle throws her hands violently around.

Eve runs an annoyed hand through her hair. “We can move the fucking chairs. There is literally only 6 of- Are you fucking kidding me?”

Villanelle stabs a knife through the projector screen. 

“Why are you so fucking childish?” 

Martin clears his throat. “If we could just put it on the white board on that wall that should work.”

Eve and Villanelle glare at each other, but listen. Eve moves the projector to face the whiteboard and Villanelle turns the chairs to the left. All except one that she keeps facing the original direction and sits down in.

Martin plugs a flash drive in the projector and waits for everyone else to sit down. Eve wanting to keep annoying Villanelle, sits in the chair that would have been on her right if she had twisted her chair, but now sits right in front of her.

“Alright,” Martin claps, “So psychopaths!”

Eve sees Villanelle chuckles out of the corner of her eye. Then she looks at the presentation. The word psychopath is written over a red car.

“Excuse the uh… yeah, I can’t delete it.” He bores on about red tape for a moment. Red tape that Eve or Villanelle isn’t forced to do. Red tape that’s supposed to protect them but Carolyn actively tells them to not worry about. Then he starts talking about psychopaths. “Psychopaths are incapable of interpersonal human relationships. The I-You.”

Villanelle hand tightens into a fist.

“For a psychopath, there is only I-It. Other people are just objects to them, to be picked up and put down at will.”

Eve shoots a hand out. They’re in the back and no one notices when Villanelle leans forward and squeezes Eve’s hand. She turns her chair and sits beside Eve, hands intertwined.

Martin flips to a new slide. “Superficial charm. Dishonesty. An inability to form lasting intimate relationships. A poverty of emotions.” He clicks another button.

A picture of a dead, brutalized body comes up.

_ Cool, _ Eve thinks.

_ He looks like raw hamburger, _ Villanelle thinks.

They both subconsciously lean forward while everyone else looks away in disgust. 

“Sorry.” He clicks to the next slide. A picture of Villanelle.

Eve looks away from the screen at her Villanelle, who looks down. She drops Eve’s hand and rubs up and down her bare arms.

“Psychopaths are narcissistic. They’re pathologically manipulative. However, they do respond to a certain amount of manipulation. You can’t change them but you can-”

“What if the psychopath wanted to change?” Villanelle speaks up.

“I… a psychopath wouldn’t feel the need to change.”

“But what if they did? What if they wanted to feel emotions and empathy?”

“Vill-” Eve begins.

Martin interrupts her. “I don’t know, really. It would be hard. They would have to rewire their own brain.”

“Shouldn’t you know? Since you’re the psychopath fanboy?”

“Expert,” he corrects. “And what I’m saying is,” he looks at everyone, “we don’t know.”

Villanelle rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair, seeming a lot more relaxed.

“When you think of a psychopath, you tend to think of a regular person then you add certain negative traits, like your violence, your narcissism, your sadism. That’s a mistake. Don’t add, take away. Everything that makes us human - just take it all away. They’re like facsimiles. They’re copycats. You might as well try to understand a wasp, or a stapler, a hole punch, a telephone-”

“So you’re saying they aren’t human,” Villanelle states.

“Exactly. They’re basically a feral animal that looks like a human. Think of Maslow Hierarchy of Human needs.” Martin goes to the next slide which is a triangle. “Here’s everything a human needs to survive. A psychopath only needs the bottom two, maybe only the bottom one. Food.” He taps on a finger as he labels each word. “Water. Sex. Sleep. Money. Healthy. And shelter.” He then moves to the top three tiers. “They don’t need morality, or respect, friends, family. They don’t need love.”

* * *

 

 

After Martin finishes the presentation, Eve is pulled aside by Carolyn who informs her that Villanelle will be going undercover to befriend Amber Peel in AA meetings. Eve asks when that was decided and Carolyn explains this morning like it was obvious. Then Eve and Villanelle were given new equipment.

Now, Eve sits on Villanelle’s bed while Villanelle walks around, mumbling to herself in different accents. She flips through a file about what was officially being sold by Aaron. A mixture of anger, pity, and confusion twist in her brain. She’s annoyed that Villanelle had to act like such a child. She feels bad that Villanelle had to sit through that entire briefing that just talked about how terrible and not human she apparently is. She’s confused by what Villanelle meant last night about when Eve is ready to listen. Eve  _ is _ ready to listen. That’s all she’s trying to do.

“Okay, I’ve gotten it down to three.” Villanelle now has on a matching suit jacket to her checked pants.

    Eve props her self up using one arm and looks up at Villanelle. “Okay, let’s meet them.”

    “Gap year tragedy,” Villanelle says in a perfect British accent, “who…” she feigns tears, “who fell in love with her coke dealer.” Then she straightens up and starts walking towards Eve. Tugs on the bottom of the lapels of her jacket. “A sun cream heiress,” Eve places this accent as Australian, “from Sydney who has her own, like,  _ super _ successful bikini brand.” Villanelle shakes her head. “No, I know,” she says in her own thick Russian. Villanelle presses her hands on the bed so her wrists are open to Eve. Villanelle’s shoulders drop, she blinks and an uncaring façade appears on her face and it’s no longer Villanelle across from Eve. “She’s just arrived from New York after one too many nights on the wrong side of the bridge,” Villanelle says with a bored New York accent. “And she has a really, really, really annoying accent.” Her face is inches away from Eve’s.

    Eve gawks for a moment. Then recovers, “I like her accent. What’s her name?”

    Villanelle smirks. “Billie.”

    Eve’s face drops. “Billie?”

    Villanelle nods with a pout. Then she pushes off the bed. “So, roomie, what do you want to do?”

    “I need to call Kenny. Get him to make Billie a social media profile and-”

    Villanelle jumps on the bed and stands over Eve. She pulls out her phone.

    “What are you doing?”

    She turns and shows Eve her phone. “I texted Kenny. A couple of useless degrees and a possession of marijuana charge. Maybe a couple DUIs.”

    “Why are you taking this serious?” Eve asks the woman standing on top of a bed, slowly bouncing on it.

    Villanelle shrugs then types on her phone again. She’s taking this seriously because in truth, she wants to keep working for MI6. Keep working with Eve.

    Music starts playing and Villanelle holds a hand out to Eve. “80’s really? Is that a dig at my age?” Eve teases as she takes Villanelle’s hand.

    “I like this song.” Villanelle pulls Eve to standing. 

    This song, is Every Breath You Take. Villanelle starts dancing and singing off key to the song. Eve laughs and slowly can’t help but join in. She doubles over in laughter when the chorus hits for the second time and Villanelle jumps over to the piano. 

    She holds an invisible microphone and points at Eve with her other hand. “Oh, can’t you see, you belong to me!” Villanelle belts out. “How my poor heart aches,” she goes from pointing at Eve and places a hand over her heart, “with every step you take.” She sways her hips and keeps singing the song. Hops over to the bed when the outro begins and places her hands on Eve’s waist. 

    “Play that one song I couldn’t hear.” Eve tries to remember the name of the song. “Let’s talk about feelings.”

    Villanelle smiles. “You listened to me. Did you listen to it?”

    “No. I wanted you to show it to me.”

    “Okay,” Villanelle answers. She guides Eve off the bed and then turns off the music on her phone and picks up a vinyl record. She lays it on the turntable and places the arm in place before returning to Eve. The music cracks through the speaker.

_     I, I am drowning in love with you _

_     I, I hope, hope that it’s good for you _

    Villanelle guides Eve’s hands around her shoulders and then wraps her hands around Eve’s waist.

_     I, I am learning to live again _

_     I, I’m done with the fast-paced, flower crowned woman _

    Eve rests her head on Villanelle’s chest and feels Villanelle’s lips on the top of her head.

_     I, I am falling in love with you _

_     And I, I hope it’s hope it’s good for you _

    They start to sway, making small circles. Villanelle’s heart pounds against Eve’s ear.

_     I, I’ve been in every state _

_     But content is foreign soil _

_     It’s sand I’d love to cultivate _

    Eve pulls away Villanelle and studies her face. She wipes away a tear that is making a path down Villanelle’s face.

_     I’m just afraid that you’ll change me _

_     Won’t run away but I’ll have to take it slow _

    She has to roll up on her tiptoes. Has to pull Villanelle’s head down. Then her lips are against tender soft lips. Villanelle’s lips tremble under hers.

_     Don’t want to fall silent for long _

_     Won’t run away, I spook out easy though _

    Eve runs her tongue and Villanelle’s bottom lip and then slides it in when Villanelle gasps.

_     I’m just afraid that you’ll change me _

_     Won’t run away but I’ll have to take it slow _

    Villanelle’s fingers brush under Eve’s shirt. Eve slowly guides Villanelle backwards till the bed hits her knees. She pushes Villanelle gently down on the bed. Straddles her and moves her lips to Villanelle’s jaw.

_     Don’t want to fall silent for long _

_     Won’t run away, I spook out easy though _

    Villanelle lets out small breathy moans. She leans up so she can shrug off her jacket and toss it away. Eve pulls her own shirt over her head. Then starts kissing Villanelle again and Villanelle feels so  _ human _ . 

_     I’m just afraid that you’ll change me _

_     Won’t run away but I’ll have to take it slow _

    Villanelle helps Eve take off her bodysuit. Gasps into Eve’s mouth when Eve’s fingers tease over her slick heat. Shoves her face into Eve’s neck when Eve slides two fingers in. Tears trickle out of her eyes when Eve moves her head back to the bed and gazes into her eyes.

_     Don’t want to fall silent for long _

_     Won’t run away, I spook out easy though _

    Her back arches off the bed when her orgasm hits her intense with Eve’s teeth over her neck. Eve guides her through the intensity and then holds her when her body shaking changes from waves of pleasure to sobs wrecking her body. 


	32. I hope that it's good for you

Villanelle traces her fingers to connect each freckle on Eve's back while Eve is asleep. She woke ten minutes prior and the only light in the room is faded London moonlight. Small snores escape Eve's lips, sounding more content as Villanelle moved her hands up into the bottom curls of Eve’s hair. Happiness and warmth flutter in her chest as she just feels so much. Love. Hope. Desire. Even a little bit of embarrassment that she never returned the favor because she cried after her orgasm. It was as if Eve touching her just opened her up for every emotion she's never felt to come out at once. 

    Eve's skin is soft under her lips pressing against Eve's shoulder. She could wake Eve up and return the favor, but she also doesn't want to bother Eve. Instead Villanelle pulls away for a second.

“Mi amor,” Villanelle whispers and leans up to press a kiss to Eve’s temple. As she crawls off the bed she watches a small smile form on Eve’s face and snuggle deeper into the bed.

Her phone is still in the pocket of her trousers. Two texts from Konstantin. One reads a location and time to meet him. That she missed. The second reads a snarky comment and a second location and time to meet for breakfast. It’s about two hours until the time so she decides to go for a run, come back and shower, then meet him.

* * *

 

Eve was still asleep when she got home from her run, so she was quiet, left a note, then caught a cab. The cab smelled and weird stains were strewn about the back seat making Villanelle decide she needs to buy a vehicle.

Konstantin meets her in some hipster style café and drinks some tea that's supposed to be good for the soul.

She orders a black cold brew coffee.

"How do you drink that? It's so bitter," Konstantin says and stirs honey into his tea.

"Like me when I have to meet you at 6:30 in the morning." Villanelle takes a gulp of her drink.

"Well, if you responded last night we could have already had this discussion, but you never check your phone."

"I went to bed early."

"Is that so?" He scratches his beard. "Tell me… how is living with Eve? Carolyn tells me you stabbed a projector screen yesterday?"

"Is that why we’re here? Carolyn? If this is about the vase in her guest room-"

"We are here about you and Eve's evaluation yesterday… and what vase?"

Villanelle shrugs. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You broke it didn't you?"

"So, what's this about me and Eve? Did she pass? I know I didn't." Villanelle ignores the vase.

"Oh, one of you passed, that's for sure," Konstantin mumbles.

Villanelle stands up with her coffee. "Good. Then that settles that, Eve isn't a psychopath."

"Sit back down. We need to talk."

"Why? There's nothing to talk about. I need to go shopping for Billie's wardrobe."

"Billie?"

In that annoying American accent Villanelle says, "Yeah, she has really bad addiction issues and  _ needs _ to go to AA meetings. The same ones as that super important Amber Peel."

Konstantin laughs. "I like that. I haven't heard you be an American before."

Villanelle slides back in her seat. "It's fun. I picture myself chewing on gum and being a total spoiled brat."

"You passed," Konstantin states.

"As a psychopath."

"No."

"But you said one of us-"

"I know what I said."

"Then what are you saying?"

"Martin put you at around a 26 to 29 on the psychopathy scale. High but not high enough to be considered a psychopath."

"What did he put Eve at?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Konstantin, tell me or I will push this straw through your pupil." She even takes the straw out of her cup and gestures it at his face.

"28 to 31."

"What's the highest score?"

"40."

"And Eve scored a 31?"

"At most."

"Why?" Villanelle pops the lid off her drink and grabs a piece of ice.

"Grandiose self-worth, impulsiveness, an ability to switch empathy on and off."

"That's everybody. He doesn't even know us."

"He has access to both of your files."

"I have a file?"

"Villanelle-"

"Can I see my file?"

“I don’t have access to your file,” Konstantin answers and waits for the next obvious question.

“Can you get my file? Eve’s file?”

“Yes.”

Villanelle’s eyes widen and she smacks the table. “Do you already have them?”

“No, but I will get them. You’ve been behaved. This is a reward. Keep being behaved and I’ll keep rewarding you.”

“Martin said that’s one of the ways psychopaths can be controlled,” Villanelle points out and crunches on ice.

* * *

****

Movement in the bed and a sudden weight on her midsection wakes Eve up. She throws an arm over her face, feeling the morning light through her eyelids. Fingertips run up and down her sides.

“Stop it,” Eve whines.

“You’ve got to get up. It’s 8. You need to be at work in an hour. I brought home coffee.”

Eve peeks an eye open to look at the fully dressed Villanelle wearing what Eve could consider normal clothes. Although for jeans, a black tee, and a blush pink moto jacket, it was probably as much as a car Eve couldn’t afford right now. “You’ve already been out?”

“Yep.” Villanelle pops the p. “I went for a run, showered, then strolled down to a coffee shop. Oh, and I bought a vehicle so we can stop taking a cab.”

“You just happened to buy a vehicle on your way to the coffee shop?”

“No, afterwards.”

Eve thumbs the bottom of one of the flaps on Villanelle’s jacket. “What time is it?”

Villanelle hops off Eve. “Nope. No time for that.  _ You _ still need to shower.”

“You’re saying no to sex? And being late to work?” Eve rolls over and watches Villanelle walk towards the kitchen. 

She grabs an apple and juts a thumb towards her chest. “I’m responsible,” she says around a mouthful of food.

“Bullshit,” Eve mumbles and climbs out of bed.

Villanelle drags her eyes over Eve’s almost naked body and sets the apple back down on the counter, strolling towards Eve. “Although when you put it like that.” 

Eve closes her eyes and waits for a kiss that never comes. She opens her eyes to see Villanelle nose to nose with her, eyes wide open.

“Go shower,” Villanelle says without a hint of humor.

Eve rolls her eyes but walks off towards the bathroom. 

After getting ready, Villanelle leads her to a parking garage across from her flat. In all honesty, Eve expects Villanelle’s vehicle to be one of the motorcycles. What she doesn’t expect is an all black Lexus LC.

“Villanelle, this cost as much as my house,” Eve says as Villanelle opens the door for her, revealing an all red interior. 

“That’s not your house anymore,” Villanelle states and closes the door. She changed into an all black suit with a red button up under it and Eve realizes she dressed to match her car. The wide legged bottoms sway around her calves as she strides over to the driver’s side and climbs in. “Do you like it?”

“How did you pay for this?”

Villanelle starts the car. Her right hand on the steering wheel and the left finding a place on Eve’s thigh. “In cash.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Eve can feel herself getting wet when Villanelle starts absentmindedly circling her fingers on Eve’s thigh. Although it’s not a matter of getting wet when she still hasn’t gotten off since the empty office yesterday.

“I had to pay extra because the dealership was closed, and I technically don’t have a working ID.” Villanelle pulls up to a scanner and rolls down her window to scan a parking pass. She has to lean and her hand comes off Eve’s thigh. “Before you ask. I used to park here and paid a year in advance.”

“I was going to ask if you could stop  _ that _ ,” Eve says when Villanelle places her hand higher up on Eve’s thigh.

“Stop what?” Villanelle turns out of the parking garage and feigns ignorance.

“Stop doing that thing with your hand.”

“This thing?” Villanelle leans a little bit over and cusps Eve’s center through her slacks.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Eve moans.

“Yes? So you don’t want me to stop?” Villanelle presses her fingers down. “Tell me what you want, Eve.”

“I-” she doesn’t want Villanelle to stop. She wants Villanelle to pull over and fuck her but the clock in the car says 8:48 AM and if Villanelle drives fast they can get to work on time and maybe people won’t think anything about them walking in together. But Eve doesn’t really give a fuck what people think anymore. “Fuck, I need you.”

“You need me?” Villanelle teases her fingers around the button of Eve’s slacks. “Where do you need me?”

Eve didn’t consider the possibility that Villanelle could drive and fuck her. “I-inside, touch me- fuck, please.” She feels the button on her pants come undone and Villanelle’s hand slide into her panties.

“Fuck, Eve, is this all for me?” Villanelle asks and presses her a finger against Eve’s clit.

“Yes,” Eve groans and her hips lift up to meet Villanelle’s hand.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t know.”  _ That’s a fucking lie _ . “Let me take care of you.”

“Villanelle, fuck. It feels go fucking good.” Then Villanelle slides two fingers into Eve without warning. “Fuck!” Not knowing what to do with her hands but needing to grip something to ground herself her, Eve digs her fingernails into Villanelle’s wrist while the other one clamps down on to her own knee.

Villanelle gets stopped by a traffic light and takes the chance to focus more on what she is doing. She curls her fingers to hit Eve’s spot and feels Eve clench around her fingers, moans getting louder. “Are you close?” The light turns green and she starts driving again. “Do you want to cum?”

“Yes, so close... I… so fucking close,” Eve pants as her thighs start shaking.

A groan escapes Villanelle when she can Eve dig her nails in deeper. “Go ahead. Let go, baby, I got you.”

* * *

****

They have sex three times before the work day ends. Once in the empty office, totally planned. The second time wasn’t planned, Villanelle was washing her hands in the bathroom and Eve walked in. When they realized they were the only two in the restroom, Eve was on her knees and Villanelle had a leg thrown over her shoulder. The third was in the supply closet because Villanelle slapped all the staples out of every stapler in the office. Planned by Villanelle, not planned by Eve.

It was a useless day at work anyways. At least for them because neither of them did the extra red tape. They were both just waiting for the AA meeting tomorrow. 

Villanelle bumps her chair into Eve’s towards the end of the work day. Just one more hour. “So you’re going to be listening to me tomorrow? When I’m in the AA meeting?”

“Yes.” Eve emails Kenny the okay for the social media profiles he created.

“Will you be talking to me? I could use some  _ motivation _ .”

Eve’s head shoots up and she makes sure no one heard Villanelle. “No. I won’t be talking to you.”

Villanelle sighs and traces the fingernail marks on her wrist. At some point she lost her suit jacket and has her sleeves of her button up rolled up. “But you will be listening?”

“Yes?” Eve repeats. “Are you okay?”

Villanelle leans forward and pecks Eve on the lips then pushes away. “Fantastic.” She rolls back to her desk.

The only person who catches Eve’s eye is Elena, who sits with a raised eyebrow and small smirk.

_ Piss off _ , Eve mouths.

Elena grins.  _ Get it, girl. _

Eve rolls her eyes, but she’s glad that Elena and her are getting along again.

* * *

****

Villanelle walks into her AA meeting wearing a huge pink Armani coat. It matches her pink wig that Sean would be proud of. The whole get up would be a perfect outfit for Sean. She chooses a seat one away from Amber’s. Close but not too close. Amber tells some pitiful story and Villanelle has to swallow a laugh.

“Alright, does anyone else have anything they want to say? How about you?” The man leading the meeting looks directly at Villanelle who has her chin resting on her knee.

“Me?” Villanelle asks in Billie’s accent.

Eve perks up when she hears Villanelle through the ear piece.

“Um, hi… I’m Billie.”

“Hi, Billie,” the group says in uncaring unison.

Villanelle spins the thumb ring on her finger and debates a choice for a moment. She could follow the briefing Eve gave her. Or Eve was finally listening and she could be honest. “I’m an addict, party drugs, alcohol,… and uh… I’m a Dreamer.”

Eve flips through her brief she gave Villanelle. That wasn’t in the briefing. What was Villanelle doing?

“I don’t… typically feel anything. Except when I’m with my soulmate. Whether it’s a dream or in… real life. If I’m not with her, I feel nothing and it’s so fucking boring.”

Eve closes the file and stares at the building as if she is looking right at Villanelle. She listens.

“I wake up from a dream with her and I think, ‘Again? Really? I have to do this again?’ And what I don’t understand is, how come everybody else, or the people without dreams, isn’t screaming with boredom too?” Villanelle can feel tears pricking at her eyes. “I’m just trying to find something that makes me feel the way she does. More and more and more but it doesn’t make any difference. No matter what I do, it wasn’t her. There was just… nothing. If I hurt myself, it doesn’t hurt. I buy what I want, I don’t want it. I do what I like, I don’t like it. I just… can’t even be happy or sad if I’m not with her. I don’t enjoy anything. Nothing makes me upset. I just exist and I’m just so bored of just existing.”

Is this what Villanelle has been trying to tell Eve? That the five years, if she wasn’t in a dream she was just empty? At least Eve got to pretend to be happy with Niko and then laugh and have fun at work with Bill and Elena. Those five years had been pure torture for Villanelle while Eve got to have a normal life.


	33. Mother Love, are you near?

Villanelle kills Amber's babysitter. It's less than ideal but it works. Eve waits for Villanelle at her car and listens to her comfort Amber.  It was weird how genuine she sounded when Eve knew she didn't give a damn. Although, how many times had Eve done that before? 

She shakes her head and leans against the car, not wanting to think about it. There's a wolf whistle and Eve looks at the woman walking toward her. Villanelle yanks off Billie’s wig and then runs a hand to push back loose blonde strands. “Hello Eve, you do realize the car was unlocked. You didn’t have to lean against it and look all sexy.”

“You didn’t have to kill Amber’s caseworker,” Eve rebuttals and climbs into the lavish car.

Villanelle slides in. “I didn’t, it was a car accident.” She pulls off her microphone and shows it to Eve to remind her that they’re being recorded. “Amber gave me her number.”

“Oh, how convenient.”

“You know, the whole situation was very messy. Have you ever seen someone get hit by a truck before?”

“No, that was my first time.” Then Eve adds as an afterthought, “Hopefully only too.”

Villanelle laughs and drums her fingers on the steering wheel. Instead of her hand finding its place on Eve’s thigh, it sits on the gear shift. She’s grateful that Eve knew better than to ask about what she said in the AA meeting. Or maybe Eve just didn’t care. When it’s work time, she turns her empathy off.

Ringing made both women jump. Villanelle glances at her phone in the cupholder. “Can you answer that? It'll play on the speaker once you answer and it’s boss lady.”

“You mean, Carolyn?” Eve asks and reaches for the phone, that does indeed say,  _ Scary Boss Lady _ . “Are you scared of Carolyn?” She slides the phone answer button after saying that.

“Hi, Carolyn,” Villanelle says in a sing song voice. “Eve and me are on our way back to my flat.”

“Oh, good, you’re already together. For some reason, you both were left out of the email I sent out yesterday. Tonight, I am having your team and a few others over to my house. Nothing elaborate, just a few drinks and some small talk to keep morale high. It begins in an hour and a half.”

Eve begins, “Thanks for the invitation”

“That sounds lovely, Carolyn. We’ll see you then.” Villanelle hangs up and gives an incredulous look as she pulls into the parking garage. 

“You  _ are _ scared of Carolyn,” Eve realizes.

Villanelle sticks her parking pass out and nods violently. “Yes. She literally offered to torture you. You should be scared of her too.”

“Carolyn likes me and obviously she needs me.”

“ _ Wow _ . Quite the ego you got there, Eve.”

* * *

 

They arrive to Carolyn’s home, one argument and a half later. The half argument was about an expensive dress Villanelle had bought Eve a few days ago, ‘just because’ and ended as soon as Eve saw the blue backless gown. Villanelle goes over the specifics, it’s a Peter Do asymmetrical dress designed out of storm-blue hammered-satin. The champagne of the inside matches the color of Villanelle’s silk Max Mara cady jumpsuit that she pairs with heels that match Eve’s dress. The pair scream power couple.

The one whole argument was in the Uber on the way to Carolyn’s house. Eve wanted to talk about the AA meeting and Villanelle said not now. Apparently when Eve wants something she will get mad if she doesn’t get it because she accuses Villanelle of lying and Villanelle blows up and tells Eve that the only time Eve will actually listen to her is if it’s for work.

This leads to as soon as they arrive, Villanelle finding Carolyn, giving her a bottle of champagne and leaving Eve’s side. By a few others, Carolyn meant a few other teams not a few other people, so there’s at least 40 people here. Villanelle bounces from person to person, charming them all. Eve doesn’t give a damn about anyone here and just wants to go back home.

She stands in a circle made up of Elena, Jess, Kenny, and a few people from different operations. Her eyes are glued to Villanelle’s hand that rests on the back of a younger woman while speaking to her own circle. 

“That’s the psychopath isn’t it?” says the oldest man in the group. He has round glasses and comically large eyes. Elena eyes Eve with worry. “I know we technically don’t have the death sentence anymore, but I’d love to see her get the electric-”

“Excuse me?” Eve asks and finishes her champagne flute. “Are you talking about Villanelle?”

“ _ Villanelle _ ,” he scoffs. “At the very least she could switch to-”

“I’m sorry, what is it you do for MI6 again? You’re just a drug consultant or something? Villanelle has worked for us for less than a month and she’s managed to not only bring in one assassin, but discover a high profile weapon.” Eve’s voice is on the verge of yelling and people turn to watch. The silence makes it easy to hear the conversation.

Villanelle moves from her group and walks over to Konstantin with a smile. “Have you got the files?” She whispers.

The man across from Eve raises his hands. “I’m not the murderer here.”

Something snaps in Eve. “Are you trying to accuse me of something?”

Konstantin leans towards Villanelle. “No, but now is a good time. Is she causing the scene on purpose?”

Villanelle shakes her head and vaguely hears Konstantin laugh before walking off.

The man talks again. “I’m not accusing anyone of anything. That psychopath has murdered dozens of people. There’s no accusing involved when it’s a known fact.”

Eve steps towards him. “Maybe that number should go up.”

“Are you threatening me?”  _ Yes. _

“Are you calling my girlfriend a psychopath?”  _ Yes. _

The room goes silent. Villanelle’s eyebrows shoot up. Girlfriend? She sips on her champagne flute and watches the face off. No need to step in yet.

“You’re dating that insane-”

A slap snaps through the room and then the clicking of heels on hardwood floors. People split for Eve as she marches towards Carolyn’s backyard. Now would probably be the time to step in.

Eve sits at a small glass patio table. She regrets not grabbing a new drink before walking out, as it would probably be a little bit before she could comfortable sneak back in. After a few minutes, the glass french door squeak open and out walks a cheeky looking Villanelle, carrying two champagne flutes and a bottle.

“I figured you might want a drink after that,” she says and sits down across from Eve.

“Definitely.”

Villanelle pops the tops, laughing when it shoots to somewhere they’ll never find. She drinks what spills out and then fills their glasses. They don’t speak through the first drink. Instead when Villanelle goes to refill their glasses, she speaks, “So girlfriend?”

Eve blushes and shoves her face in her hands. “Don’t start.” She assumes Villanelle doesn’t want to be labeled like that.

Villanelle sets the bottle back down. “I like it.”

“What?” Eve looks up.

“ _ Girlfriend _ .” Villanelle rolls the word around her mouth. “I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

Eve wants to argue but then is stuck with the fact that it’s true. Anna was never her girlfriend, more so a predatory, manipulative- Eve cuts Anna from her eyes and looks back at Villanelle and realizes how not normal she is. Villanelle is a beautiful, twenty-six year old woman. She should have had countless boyfriends and girlfriends and broken so many hearts.

“If I’m your girlfriend… does that mean your  _ my _ girlfriend?” Villanelle genuinely asks.

“Yeah, that’s typically how that works.” Eve chuckles and takes a drink of champagne.

“When do I get to propose?”

Eve chokes on her champagne. After a few coughs, she stares at Villanelle with wide eyes. “I… after we’ve dated for a while, and we’ve discussed getting married.”

“Where would you go if you could go anywhere?”

Villanelle has the ability to give Eve whiplash every time they talk. Eve considers it a moment. “Salar de Uyuni.”

Villanelle lets out one small laugh and just smiles. She nods. “Okay.”

“Where would you go?” Eve asks the question. Eve’s curious since Villanelle has been to so many places. She figures Villanelle will say Paris.

“Wherever you are.”

Eve gapes at Villanelle.

“You’re staring like I said ‘something that makes you think you love me.’” Villanelle teases Eve with her own words.

So Eve returns the favor. “But I do love you.” She slides her fingers into Villanelle’s hair and tugs her forward so their lips meet.

* * *

 

The next day they sit in the loft of Villanelle’s flat and eat lunch. It’s around one and besides brushing their teeth, it’s the first time they’ve gotten out of bed. 

The loft itself is more of a huge closet full of Villanelle’s, and now Eve’s, clothes. In the middle there is a small table because ‘Villanelle liked eating up here because of the skylights.’

“I’m ready to talk about yesterday,” Villanelle says when she finishes her sandwich.

“I’m ready to listen,” Eve answers.

Villanelle leads her to the back corner of the flat and pushes Eve down on the couch. Laughs when a small gasp slips out from Eve. With a thigh on each side of Eve, Villanelle rests her arms on Eve’s shoulders.

“This doesn’t feel like talking.”

“It is. Just give me a moment to think.”

“Take your time.”

Villanelle squints and tilts her head. “I was telling the truth.”

“I figured.”

“No, Eve, not just I figured. I  _ was _ telling the truth.”

“What do you mean was?” Eve asks and circles her hand on Villanelles hip.

“Do you remember when we were waiting in Carolyn’s office after Charlie?”

“Yes.”

“Since then, I want to be a better person. I feel guilty about things. I feel guilty about lying to Octavian and I feel guilty about wanting to hurt Sean and hurting Eliza. Not a lot. But there’s this smallest amount of guilt that I’ve never felt before that night unless I hurt you. I get happy about things. I like seeing people laugh and flowers and there’s this excitement when I know I’m going to go do something and I feel these emotions all the time now. I’m not bored anymore.”

Eve takes a moment to process what Villanelle is saying. “So, what does this have to do with that night?”

“When we sitting in the office, I started to get restless. Then you placed your hand on top of mine.” Villanelle sits her hand on top of Eve’s and then intertwines their fingers. “And it was as if something in my body finally clicked. Like… time started and stopped at the same time. One life of searching for you ended and one with you began…” Villanelle trails off searching for words.

“Like our souls finally found each other,” Eve finishes.

“You felt it too?” Villanelle asks with wonder.

“Later that night, after you fell asleep. I crawled into bed with you ad instantly you just wrapped around me. You made this small sigh of… content and it just felt like something settled into place. My entire life I’ve been searching for something. Nothing ever fully satisfied me and then you were next to me and I felt satisfied. I felt… a sudden devotion to you from deep inside me, that I realized it wasn’t just me and you but my soul and your soul,” Eve finishes and her chest screams. Without thinking she raises a hand to Villanelle’s chest to feel Villanelle’s rapid heartbeat.

Villanelle places her free hand over Eve’s chest and feels that Eve’s heart is going just as fast as hers. Tears fill both of their eyes when the souls inside them realize their home.

“I love you,” Villanelle promises.

“I love you,” Eve vows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I alternated between posting a chapter of this and a chapter of a new AU every other day so like one day it would be this and then the next would be the other one, would you guys be upset? Like would you rather me finish this one first? I just have no clue how long this one is going to be and if you want to hear about the other one and then make up your mind, send me questions about it over on tumblr @theworldandyourself


	34. Father Sin, are you near?

Villanelle drops Eve off at work and informs her that she had a meeting with Konstantin. When Eve asks, she just says that it’s about it is just breakfast. Eve doesn’t believe her for a second, but she trusts her, so instead of arguing she leans over the center console and pecks Villanelle on the lips.

Villanelle makes a noise of discontent and pulls Eve back towards her for a real kiss. Her tongue slides in to Eve’s mouth and Eve pulls away and shuts the car door. She leans in the window. “Don’t get into any trouble.”

“I would never.”

Eve watches as Villanelle drives away. She runs her finger nails over her wrist as it slightly burns and itches. 

“I didn’t know you had it in you, Eve,” Elena calls out and walks up to Eve.

She pulls down the sleeve of her coat and turns to Elena. “Well, it’s not like it wasn’t asked for. He-”

“No! I’m talking about dating an assassin. I know you two are soulmates but I don’t know, I never pictured you actually dating her. Just seems so domestic.”

“Well, it’s still not the usual. How many people can say they stabbed their… their girlfriend?” Eve halters on the word girlfriend, still sounding foreign in her mouth.

Elena eyes go wide. “God, that’s terrible. Maybe you guys shouldn’t mention that part. You don’t think she’ll ever try to repay the favor?”

“Uh… no, I mean… I hope not.”

They walk into the office and make their ways upstairs. Elena still making teasing comments about Villanelle. 

Then, “Are you nervous about Villanelle going undercover at the Peels’ house tonight?”

“Of course not,” Eve answers.

* * *

 

 

Eve is a complete wreck of anxiety as she sits beside Konstantin in a van. Even she is getting annoyed by Aaron and Amber and she doesn’t know what mindset Villanelle is in because Villanelle wouldn’t respond to any of her calls or texts. 

“So tell me, Eve,” Konstantin begins while munching on popcorn, “How are you feeling?”

“What?” Eve snaps. They shouldn’t be distracting Villanelle.

“How’s things with Villanelle? She was telling me that you two are dating?”

“Yeah, now, maybe we should focus on her and-”

“You know me and her had breakfast this morning?”

“Stop,” Villanelle interjects.

“Excuse me?” Aaron asks.

Eve glares at Konstantin and hopes Villanelle can recover.

“Oh, uh...can you explain to me how this works again?” 

Aaron laughs. “You need me to explain the rules of Dixit again? A simple storytelling game for players aged eight and up, and yet you claim to have two philosophy degrees.”

“I do have two philosophy degrees.”

“I  _ know _ . I checked. I’m puzzled with this whole faux ditz act. One part of the equation doesn’t add up.”

“I’m sorry?” Villanelle says.

“Please remind me. What exactly did you study again?”

“General Philosophy and Social Policy and Philosophy of Religion.”

“Ah. Philosophy of Religion. Where do you stand on Anselm’s Ontological Arguement?”

Eve pauses and realizes she never finished Villanelle’s file. She got too caught up in their activities this weekend to finish the file.

“Well, come on, where do you stand on it?” Aaron asks again with arrogance.

“That it’s boring,” Villanelle replies.

Eve groans and Konstantin tilts his head. “She actually made sure to read the file you gave her. She should know the answer,” he says.

“I never finished the file,” Eve informs him.

“What’s your favorite refutation?” Aaron cuts them off.

“Drop it, Aaron,” Amber interrupts, “Please stop.”

“The grown-ups are talking, Amber. If it bored you you must have studied it, so you can at least detail the arguement for it. I mean, it’s first year stuff. So what’s the first premise… Or can you at least tell us what ontological means… Can you even spell it?” Aaron stops.

Silence hangs around Eve and Konstantin and in their headphones. 

“Here you are.” There’s a thud. “If you’re going to lie at least do a bit of research.”

“Oh, I get it.” Eve pictures Villanelle’s slight smirk in her voice. “You’re a bully. Why would I even bother to have a conversation with someone like you?” Villanelle laughs. “What is the point?”

Panic stirs in Eve’s throat. Villanelle going off on a tangent while laughing is never a good sign.

“My dad taught me that there is only one way to communicate with a bully.”

Any lesson from Villanelle’s father was not a good lesson.

“I see,” Aaron replies. “And what was his advice?”

Silence.

One second. Two. Three. Fo-

There’s a crash.

“What just happened?” Eve asks.

“My nose is bleeding!” Aaron calls out.

“That mystery’s solved,” Konstantin says and tosses more popcorn in his mouth. He catches Eve’s arm with she gets up. “Don’t. Let her cool off.”

“She-”

“No, she needs alone time to process things.”

Eve sits back down. From the lack of sound, she figures Villanelle has taken off her microphone and tossed it. She turns her and Konstantin’s microphones off. “What happened between you two today?”

“What?”

“Villanelle has been ignoring me since you two had breakfast,” Eve says and runs a hand through her hair. “I’m going to guess it has something to do with that.”

“Nothing happened. She wanted a couple files from Carolyn’s and I gave her the files. Then I left. We barely talked.”

“What files?”

“Her file.”

“You said files… what other file?”

“Your file,” Konstantin scratches his beard. “We can talk while I drive.”

Eve stares in disbelief, not knowing she had a file. But she listens and gets in the front of the van with him.

“What’s in my file?”

“I do not know. I am not nosy like you and Villanelle.”

“Why does Villanelle want my file? And why not tell me?”

Konstantin, not being one to beat around the bush, looks over at Eve. “You classify as a psychopath.”

* * *

 

Eve decided to walk to Villanelle’s flat from Carolyn’s house where Konstantin drives the van. She doesn’t take the direct route and walks around town. It takes her an hour and a half to get to the flat.

Villanelle isn’t in the flat and Eve doesn’t know if that makes her happy, scared, or sad. Eve doesn’t even know if she is angry at Villanelle. She just… doesn’t know. Konstantin had tried to tell her it was just an estimate and not an official diagnosis but the damage was done.

The front door slams. Villanelle walks in and stares at Eve, as if forgetting Eve lives here now. Blood pours from her nose and her black eye is back in full force. There’s a knife slash in her green coat and through the hoodie underneath it. Villanelle’s jaw twitches and she walks towards the kitchen.

“Where have you been?” Eve asks and follows Villanelle.

Villanelle throws the coat, and hoodie over her head onto the counter. She reaches above the fridge and pulls down a first aid kit. Eve eyes are stuck to the deep wound on Villanelle’s arm. It would need stitches.

“Can I stitch-”

“I’ll take care of it,” Villanelle snaps. She pulls off Billie’s dress next, revealing bruises on her abdomen and ribs.

“At least tell me what happened,” Eve pleads.

Villanelle doesn’t answer. Grabs the first aid and walks past Eve to the upstairs.

But Eve still follows.

“Villanelle?”

“I went home with a woman.” Villanelle moves to sit down at the table and grabs a vodka bottle from the center and pours herself a glass. Blood still oozes out of the wound.

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No,” Villanelle says and studies the clear liquid. “I just had a drink and waited til her husband came home. Then he wanted to fight, so I fought. I let him beat me up as if I was a normal 26 year old girl. Of course, I didn’t feel normal.”

Eve takes a small step towards Villanelle. The floorboards creak under her foot and Villanelle jerks around and stares again.One wrong movement and Eve could end up homeless. Villanelle shakes her head and downs her glass of vodka before looking into the first aid kit. “Eve?”

“Yes?” Eve moves closer.

“I love every part of you, okay? You know that right?”

Eve pauses, did Konstantin tell her that she knew? “Of course.” Then Villanelle seems to zone out. Eve makes her way to Villanelle and grabs a needle and thread. “Can I stitch this now?”

Villanelle nods and pours rubbing alcohol from the first aid kit onto the wound. She doesn’t wince. Her face is expressionless as Eve pushes the needle through her skin. It’s when Eve finishes she speaks again. “I killed them. The husband and wife. Neither of them did anything wrong. Well… the husband beat the shit out of me and tried to stab me, but that’s because I wanted him too.”

“Oh,” Eve doesn’t know what to say.

“That’s a part of me that’s never going to go away. Needing space is a part of me that’s never going to go away. Being angry is a part of me that’s never going to way,” Villanelle lists off. “Killing people is who I am.”

“Villanelle… it has to. You can’t just-”

Villanelle stands up and Eve realizes she made the one wrong move. “Eve, I love  _ every _ part of you! I know about you killing cats, I know about you using colleagues to get promotions, I know that you’re a psychopath! And guess what? I still love you. You need to accept every part of me if you’re going to love me.”

“What?” Eve asks.

“I read your file. They interviewed your mom. She told them about why she left your dad. How you killed cats for fun. That’s fucked, Eve. Even I-”

“Fuck you,” Eve says and shoves Villanelle.

Villanelle laughs.

It clicks in Eve’s mind that Villanelle wanted a fight. “Are you fucking serious?”

“What, Eve? It’s okay when you do it? When you found my prison records? When you went and talked to Anna?”

“I was doing my job! Locating a psychopathic assassin!”

“That’s good, Eve.” Villanelle smiles and walks away. She pulls up a couch cushion and pulls a pair of files out, then opens one and pulls out a paper. She shoves it Eve’s face, “I’m not the fucking psychopath.”

Eve grabs the paper and reads over it.

_ Villanelle displays uncontrollable and unmanageable empathy for certain people. So, while she may lack empathy for complete strangers, there are people she does connect with. See: Konstantin Vasiliev, Eve Song/Polastri, Eliza James, Sean Baxter, and Anna Aanmokoba. _

__ _ It also seems Villanelle will put Ms. Song above any of these people and displays a want to become per se a better person for Eve Song. I have been informed these two are Dreamers and are connected like Villanelle’s old identity and Ms. Aanmokoba were. See: Anna Aanmokoba, and Dreamers. _

_     However, unlike Ms. Song, Villanelle displays a strong need to not hurt Ms. Song. I witnessed a fight between the two where while Villanelle yelled and acted rashly by stabbing a projector screen, she never said or did anything to hurt or threaten Ms. Song. Villanelle carries a strong devotion to Ms. Song. I would 100% diagnose Villanelle with Cluster-B personality disorders, but I will not give her a psychopath diagnosis, as putting what I know of and my opinion of her behaviors into the Hare checklist, she would score a 28, two points below the required score for psychopathy and three points below Ms. Song. See: Hare checklist, Cluster-B Personalities Disorders, Eve Song/Polastri, and Oksana Astankova. _

Eve stares at it. Villanelle moves against her and walks back downstairs, smoke practically rising off her.

She sits down on the bed and pokes at Eve's stitching. Not quite perfect but it would do. Footsteps sound down the staircase. Villanelle looks up at Eve. Who's carrying two files. And vodka.

"I don't care about those people you killed. Or the ones you will kill," Eve begins. She holds up and shakes the files, "I don't care about these and what these say."

"Okay?" Villanelle asks and tilts her head.

"Follow me," Eve orders and makes her way to the alley below.

Villanelle follows out of curiosity. Grabs a robe then bounces down the steps.

Eve tosses the files in the alley and pours vodka on them. Villanelle leans against the wall and just watches. With a small scratch, Eve lights a match and sets it down on the alcohol soaked papers. Jumps back when flames erupt.

Villanelle's eyebrows shoot up. Always one to play with fire, but these are government files. She steps forward and grabs Eve's hand, yanking her close. They're chest to chest, nose to nose. "You're fucking crazy," Villanelle says without an ounce of humor.

Eve laughs as if it's the best joke in the world.

Then stops.

The fire behind them crackles.

Eve can feel the heat on her back.

Eve can feel the heat of Villanelle's breath.

Eve can feel the heat of vodka in her throat.

The brick wall connects with Villanelle's back. Eve kisses Villanelle like she's trying to hurt her. A groan sounds when they can taste copper and it's not quite obvious who it comes from. 

Villanelle turns them around and slams Eve against the wall. Bruises Eve's back. Her nails dig into Eve's ass while Eve wraps her legs around Villanelle's hips. Villanelle pulls away from Eve and sees blood on Eve's lips. "I'm going to fucking break you."

* * *

 

 

They wake up to Villanelle's doorbell ringing. Villanelle groans and wraps her arms tighter around Eve's midsection. It was dawn before they got to sleep, completely sweaty, sore, and tired. 

"I'm going to murder whoever that is," Villanelle whispers then nips at one of her teeth shaped marks on Eve's neck.

Eve lets out a slight whimper at the contact. 

Villanelle chuckles then moves away and picks her robe up off the floor. The flat is an absolute mess as Villanelle looks around at all the places they fucked last night. The piano bench is broke.

_ Villanelle swung her hand behind her as she carried Eve looking for something to sit down on. Not feeling it with her hand, but it hitting the bottom of her thigh, she fell backwards to sit on the bench of her piano. Her ass makes contact with the bench, but she didn't stop falling. _

_ "Shit," she mumbles against Eve's throat as they crash to the ground. The leg popped off and she curses who ever put the damn thing together. _

_ However, it doesn't ruin the moment and Eve's hips are stilling grinding down on hers. She rolls them away and fucks Eve on the floor. _

Outside Villanelle's door is the book she smacked across Aaron's face. Well, Eve's not the only person that likes being smacked around. Villanelle chuckles and goes back to where she left her girlfriend.

Eve is standing up with her back to Villanelle, buttoning up one of Villanelle's shirts. Villanelle stops to take in the sight that is the pink and purple of the back of Eve's thighs. Faded welts from just a few hours before litter Eve's ass.

"I got my date with Aaron," Villanelle finally says and holds up the book.

"Oh, good." Eve glances over her shoulder and catches Villanelle. She shakes her head. "I still need to get to work. I'm already going to be late."

Villanelle groans, "If your already-Wait, are you wearing my shirt to work?" 

Eve bends over and pulls on a pair of panties, wincing slightly as they rub against the raw skin. "Yeah? I like it."

Villanelle walks over and helps Eve pull up her pants. "That's hot." Her marks all over Eve. Eve wearing her shirt. It's obvious to everyone who Eve belongs to. She wraps her arms around Eve and shoves her face into Eve's hair.

"God, you're like a cat," Eve laughs and turns around. She pushes Villanelle off her. "Drive me to work?"

"Of course." 

After Villanelle dresses up in a Billie outfit, they make there way to the parking garage and Villanelle's car.

"Can you try to talk to Sean today at some point today too?" Eve asks.

Villanelle groans and let's her head hit her steering wheel. "You want me to see Aaron and Sean? All in one day?"

Eve nods.

"I fucking hate my life," Villanelle says while looking away from Eve. She starts her car and feels Eve rub her hand on her back.

"Just think about getting that date to Rome." Eve pulls her hand away so Villanelle can sit up.

"Rome," Villanelle tells herself. What happens after Rome? Will Carolyn find more work for Villanelle? What if she doesn't? Villanelle taps her hand on the steering wheel and squeezes Eve's thigh. "I'll go talk to Sean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially this chapter was planned with the title just because they fight... But yeah...


	35. I'm sorry for the lies

“Oi! Get the fuck out of my shop!” Sean yells when Villanelle walks in to the fashion shop. “Whores that sell their family for sex aren’t welcomed here.”

Villanelle thumbs a dress and ignores the insult. She’s already had to deal with Aaron, she could handle Sean. “Konstantin is having her broke out in two days. I’ll be in Rome, but I have his word.”

“Excuse me?”

“MI6 doesn’t care about Eliza. We just wanted to know who she worked for her.”

“I heard you tortured her.”

“Yeah… well… collateral damage. But that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here?”

Villanelle moves away from the dress and flips the shop’s open sign to closed. Then she makes her way to the counter and leans on it. “Do you remember that cabin you got in your parent’s inheritance?”

“The one in Alaska?” Sean leans beside her. His hair is neon highlighter yellow.

Villanelle nods.

“Well, obviously I remember it. Why?”

“I want it.”

“Okay.”

Villanelle pushes off the counter. “Okay?”

“If you fuck off to Alaska that means you’re out of my life.”

“You used to like me, Sean,” Villanelle says and pouts, “Eve wanted me to come here today.”

“She wants the cabin in Alaska?”

Villanelle laughs, “No, she doesn’t know about that. I think she misses you.”

“Of course she misses me. I am amazing.” Sean walks around the counter and locks up the shop. “Do you want to go upstairs and have a drink?”

“No, thanks. I have to go to the office.”

“Well, look at Ms. Responsible,” Sean shakes his shoulders in a shimmy, “or should I say Mrs. Responsible?”

“Fuck off,” she replies and pushes a vase of flowers off the counter. 

“Why are you like that?”

“It was an accident.”

* * *

****

Eve gets pulled into Carolyn’s work office. She has to sit in a chair and bite the inside of her cheek as her ass throbs.

“Villanelle just called Konstantin to inform him she wrangled an invitation to Rome,” Carolyn says and lifts a leg on her desk. “I have to say I’m impressed.”

“Well, she’s good at manipulating people.”

“That she is… do you feel manipulated by her?”

“No… she seems to be honest with me.”

Carolyn nods and sits down. “I understand that there are things going on between you and Villanelle and I need to know you won’t let that get in the way of the operation.”

“No, work comes first.”

“Good, good. Make sure she knows that. She just has to sit still, be quiet, get the buyers’ names on tape. We need to know not just what he’s selling but who he's selling to.”

“She will. She just needs to think she’s in charge.”

“Good. There’s a hotel near Aaron’s palazzo you can stay in.”

“Right… will there be a team with us?”

“Do you think it’s necessary? You seem to have good control over her. The safe word is “gentleman”.”

_ The safe word is pumpkin _ . Eve turns bright red but nods and gets up.

When she exits the office Villanelle is sitting at Eve’s desk with her feet up on the desk. Her eyes are closed and as Eve nears she can hear a faint snore. Eve shakes her head and gently pushes Villanelle’s feet to the ground.

Villanelle has a flair for dramatics and falls out of the chair. She looks at Eve with life ending offensive. Her jaw drops. “I came here to drive you home. And this is how you treat me?”

“You literally rolled out of the chair on purpose.”

“I think I sprained my wrist, Eve.”

“You didn’t even land on that wrist.”

“I might die.”

Eve just stops and stares at her in disbelief. She runs a hand through her hair and regrets every single decision in her life for a parting second because god must think she needs punished by sticking her with Villanelle. But fuck does she love her so much.

Villanelle sticks her wrist out. “You could kiss it better.”

That gets rewarded with a laugh from Elena.

Villanelle points to Elena. “See Eve. She agrees with me.”

“Get up. We need to pack for Rome.”

“So bossy.” She does get up and leans towards Eve. “Do you want me to tell your friends how well you liked bossed around?”

Eve shudders and steps away. “Go wait for me outside. Please.”

Villanelle just barely listens but not without a smack to Eve’s ass that results in a wolf whistle from Hugo. 

* * *

****

“Fuck, yes, oh my god,” Eve moans, “Don’t fucking stop.”

God, Eve should not be laying on a fucking piano. She needs to go meet Martin before they left for Rome. She needs to pack. Eve  _ needs _ . But Eve said the word, safeword, and Villanelle had Eve lifted up and pinned against the nearest piece of furniture. 

That was not the piano. That was the kitchen counter. 

No, the piano happened when Villanelle slipped on their toy. Eve straddled her for solid minute on top of the bed and when she whispered, “Fuck me,” Villanelle lifted her and carried her to the straight forward and laid her down on the piano.

Villanelle bites Eve’s neck harshly as she thrust into her. Then she pulls away to look at her mark. Eve let’s out a strangled moan when Villanelle puts her hand over the mark.

“You like that?” Villanelle asks and tightens her hand.

Eve nods, back arching.

Villanelle roughly pounds into Eve. Keeps one hand on the piano and the other on Eve’s neck. Fingernails dig into her ass. Eve’s sure she is drawing blood.

“I want you to feel me every night we’re in Rome. I want you to know who you belong to.” Villanelle thrusts deeper into Eve. Smiles when she can feel Eve trying to talk under her hand. “I could kill you right now. Does that excite you? Knowing I could snap your fucking neck?”

Eve’s hands dig at the hand around her throat but Villanelle knows if Eve didn’t like this she could say the safeword. Her hands wrap around Villanelle’s wrist and squeezes while her entire body starts to tremble. Eve’s head bangs into the piano and her eyes roll back. Villanelle loosens her hand so Eve’s loud moans, practically screams, fill the room as Villanelle fucks her through her orgasm.

Afterwards, Villanelle lifts a tired and worn out Eve and carries her to the bed.

“We aren’t done yet,  _ boss. _ ”

* * *

****

Rome is nice. Would be nicer if she was here with Eve on a honeymoon instead of with psychopathic Aaron. Villanelle is shown to her room by Mrs. Leary. She notices her lack of a bag. That’s not good. That’s really not fucking good. 

“Your clothes are in the closet.”

Oh. “What? Already?” That was quick. Villanelle makes her way to the closet behind the bed. Her eyes widen. These are expensive clothes. Her type of clothes… but not hers. Which means the microphone isn’t here. Maybe in the pantie drawer? Nope. “Uh… these aren’t my clothes. Where is my bag?”

“You’ll get it back,” replies the maid.

“Okay… well, it has my things in it.”

“You have everything you need here.”

“My contraceptive pill?”

“You won’t need that while you’re here. Mr. Peel has chosen everything just for you. Why don’t you try some things on?”

An hour later, Aaron takes her to a small restaurant. She hopes Eve knows she’s not wearing the microphone on purpose. 

“Rome suits you. Did you like your things?” Aaron asks and stares at Villanelle with the interest of a kid watching their ant farm.

“I love them,” Villanelle says and it’s not even a lie. She plans on trying to steal some of the clothes for herself.

“You look good. It took hundreds of hours to make the jacket at the atelier. What does it feel like?”

Villanelle tilts her head with confusion. “Uh, it feels-”

“Touch it,” Aaron orders. 

Before she touches it, he gets a phone call. He stands up and walks away to answer the call. Disgust slides down Villanelle’s throat.

There’s a noise plucking her brain. She turns around and grins. 

Eve sits with her hair tucked in a beanie, wearing an oversized coat. “Try the bread.”

Villanelle reaches and feathers her fingers over Eve’s wrist, over the bandage. Glides them over her hand and then grabs the bread. Eve looks adorable. “Thank you.”

Eve shakes her head. “Stay focused.”

Villanelle rolls her eyes but turns back around. Aaron turns the corner and walks back to her. “We’re going home. I have a meeting.”

“Okay.”

“There’s an ice cream shop on the way. Try the crema. And I thought I could watch you eat it.”

“Can’t wait,” Villanelle says with the least amount of disgust she can handle.

* * *

****

Eve laughs to herself. Poor Villanelle. She sits down at the table and rubs at her neck. Villanelle's marks all over her neck and just… everywhere. Switching the frequency to the other microphone, Eve waits.

She peels back a bandage of her wrist and traces the fresh pink scar in the shape of a V.

" _ I want everyone to know we're each other's." Villanelle pulled out a fancy knife and traced the tip over Eve's wrist. "Even nondreamers should know." _

_ "Isn't this dangerous?" Eve asks. Cutting just above some major veins seemed like the dumbest idea they've had. _

_ "I will make sure, I won't go to deep… this time." She presses it gently against where the left tip of the V would be. "I need your permission. Do you trust me?" _

_ "Yes," Eve breathes out and bites her lip as Villanelle punctures her skin. Blood forms little beads as she slides it down then back up a little to the right. _

Eve was surprised that it took the same color as if it was under the black light. Villanelle had seemed to know it would, however. She pictures the blood red E on Villanelle’s wrist and hopes she did it right. 

The speaker crackles to life with Villanelle singing.

Eve smiles and tension slips out of her body. 

It’s that night after Aaron makes Villanelle sit in place for almost an hour straight, that they meet with the first set up buyers. The languagae they speak back and forth sounds russian and Eve hopes Villanelle will translate later. 

Then Aaron switches to English, “You texted your mother just before you arrived, just to tell her you love her. You had a Caprese salad for lunch. And a secret packet of Haribo Tangfastics are in your car. You inputted them into one of the many calorie-counting apps I own. You told your wife yesterday that you had to work late. In fact, you spent the evening with your boyfriend Gregor at the Hotel David. You watched two episodes of Gossip Girl together and had sex twice, once at ten twenty three pm, and again this morning. Gregor will start blackmailing you shortly, by the way, from the looks of his text messages. Your areas of vulnerablity include your mother, your daughter - not your son - you don’t like him do you? And an old school friend named Phillip. You’re self conscious about the size of your penis. It’s average, if a little on the thin side. And in fact you’re going bald, your wife once thought of poisoning you but she didn’t go through with it and you dream of ice skating.”

There’s silence. Chills run down Eve’s spine. Aaron knew everything about everyone, even down to the minute details. Although, Eve can also picture Villanelle’s shit-eating grin.

“How much do you want?”

“How much do you think it’s worth? You’ll be able to type in anyone’s name, any ex-wife, any minister, any prime minister, and all this information is yours.”


	36. All the decisions that I made

    Eve sits between Villanelle’s legs. Villanelle plays with Eve’s hands in her laps while water comes up and washes on their feet. It’s quite the romantic sight.

    “I want to shove a knife down his throat and twist and twists as if it was a corkscrew in a wine bottle,” Villanelle says.

    Not quite the most romantic conversation.

    “Listen, only two more days. Do you think you can survive two more days?” Eve asks. 

    Villanelle flips Eve on her back and hovers over her, pinning Eve hand to the sand. “Can you?”

    Villanelle closes her eyes and leans down to kiss Eve and gets a mouthful of sand. Her hand slams into the sand. “God fucking dammit!”

* * *

****

    Eve wakes up with pounding on her room door. Hard pounding. 

    “I know you are in there! Open up and I will kill you nicely,” a man yells.

    She panics. She launches off the bed. Fuck, what to do, what to do?

    Get under the bed.

    The ear piece in in her ear yet from last night. 

    Her heart thumbs louder than any noise coming through it. The door slams open. Expensive leather shoes walk around the bed.

    “ _What a weird looking gentleman_ ,” Villanelle says.

    _Fuck._

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

    The man says something in a language Eve doesn’t understand. Then he walks out of the room. Eve slides out from under the bed and hurriedly slips out of the room after seeing if it was safe.

    Downstairs she hurriedly exits the motel and darts to Aaron’s building. 

    Laughter comes from room just past the marble hall. Eve looks for something to defend herself from Aaron-She hasn’t heard Villanelle crying out in pain or anything so that was a good sign-One of Aaron’s bodyguards. She doesn’t imagine Aaron would be someone to get his hands dirty. A letter opener. Eve knows she is good with a knife. 

    She barges into the room.

    Villanelle and Aaron are laughing together. Then Aaron spots Eve and looks confused. “Eve Polastri. Is that my letter opener? What are you going to do, whittle me to death?”

    Villanelle turns and smiles. “Hi, Eve. It’s so nice to see you.”

    Aaron turns to Villanelle with wide eyes, “Russian? Now, that is a surprise. Good accent. Very precise.”

    “Thank you,” she says and nods.

    “And you know each other. I thought I smelled a rat but I wasn’t expecting that. I’m flattered. MI6 must be terrified. Eve, can I get you some breakfast?”

    “No.” Eve’s confused. She can hear the Villanelle still has her microphone on. But she had to taken it off at some point. She is playing Eve.

    “It’s really good,” Villanelle confesses.

    “You said you were in trouble!” Eve snaps.

    “I am!” She pouts. She doesn’t want Eve to be upset with her.

    “I can’t believe this.” Eve begins to walk away.

    “You know Aaron makes movies, Eve?” Villanelle turns to Aaron. “I mean, they’re not great. The murders are okay but I want more story, you know?”

    He tilts his head. “You saw them?”

    She nods. “Aaron, did you know Eve and you are the only two psychopaths in this room?”

    “Excuse me?” Aaron says while Eve says, “What the fuck, Villanelle!”

    “Yeah. Everyone wants to label me as one and I’m the most sane person right now.”

    “Just because you aren’t a psychopath doesn’t mean you’re sane,” Eve says, talking with her hands too.

    “No but you’re terrified of being bored. You have symptoms of psychopathy like severe boredom. Don’t you?” Aaron asks.

    Villanelle nods. That goddamned fake pout she has perfected.

    “Come work for me.”

    “Come work for you?” Villanelle laughs. “Like what? Help you make your movies?”

    “Yes. You’ll get bored of her. You’ll never get bored here. I’ll make sure of it. Neither of us will ever be bored again,” Aaron offers.

    “Villanelle-”

    “Shhh. I’m thinking,” Villanelle says.

    “What’s there to think about?” Aaron antagonizes.

    “Don’t listen to him," Eve scolds.

    “I’ll give you everything."

    Villanelle’s eyes shine. She smiles. “Everything?”

    “You can have all of it.”

    She turns to Eve. “Did you hear that, Eve? Everything.” Villanelle pulls up her sleeves while saying it. She has her bandage off. A deep red E on her wrist, facing Eve. Aaron can’t see it from his position so it's just a sign to Eve. 

_Trust me._

    “Start now,” Aaron interrupts their moment.

    “You want me to kill Eve?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Do you think I would kill you, Eve?” Villanelle asks.

    Eve stares at her then nods. “Yes.”

    Villanelle chuckles and turns back to Aaron while grabbing a knife. “Do you want to watch?”

    He nods.

    Villanelle stands up, she takes the long way around, digging her hair into Aaron’s hair and slicing his throat.

    “Villanelle!” Eve screams.

    She pulls Aaron in front of the mirrors. “Then watch this.”

    A sick smile climbs on his lips before Villanelle shoves him to the ground.

    “What a dick.”

    “You weren’t supposed to kill him. You said the safe word!” Eve yells.

    “I did? Eve, ‘gentleman’ is a very common word. I use it all the time.”

    “No, you don’t!”

    “I did us a favor Eve. He was bound to figure it out and have someone sent to kill you. Besides, I told you, killing people is just who I am. We had a whole fire and amazing sex to celebrate that you accept that.”

    “Villanelle, I can’t deal with that right now. Aaron already had people sent here to kill me!”

    “What?”

    “There are armed men outside the hotel,” Eve says while leading Villanelle out of the house.

    “Then I’ll take care of it. Eve. I will keep you safe.”

    “It’s your fault I’m in this mess.”

    Villanelle grabs Eve’s hand and turns her around. “Hey. It’s going to be okay. But did any of those armed men happen to be a fat guy with red hair?”

    “I don’t think so, no.” Eve watches as Villanelle passes her. “Why?”

    “No reason.”

    “No,” she yanks Villanelle back. “Why?”

    Villanelle rolls her eyes. “There was this guy called Raymond at that club. You know the one you went all,” Villanelle makes a shooting gesture. “If Charlie worked for the Twelve, I'm going to say Raymond does too.”

    “The Twelve are here?”

    “Yes?” Villanelle looks like a scolded kid. “Listen follow me. I will get us out of here.”

* * *

****

    Eve insisted on needing to go back to the hotel for the recording. Villanelle couldn’t tell Eve no. 

    “I will find us a car and I will be parked out of the hotel in five minutes. If you are not outside waiting for me, I will break into the hotel.”

    “Okay.” Eve begins walking away from Villanelle.

    “Eve!” Villanelle yells to stop her. 

    “What?” Eve asks.

    Villanelle jogs up to her and grabs her jaw to pull her into a kiss. “If you see anything scary, just leave, okay? Don’t be brave.”

    Eve steps back and nods. “I love you.”

    “I love you.”

* * *

****

    The room was empty. All the recordings gone. The Twelve must have taken it. Even her belongings are gone. Then Carolyn showed up because of course Carolyn would show up.

    MI6 took the recordings. Not the Twelve. 

    Carolyn asks to sit down with Eve.

    “Why are you in Rome?” Eve questions.

    “I’m not. I’m at home with a bad cold. Tucked up in bed, watching Homes Under the Hammer.” Carolyn gives a courties smile that pisses Eve off.

    “Carolyn what’s going on?”

    “I don’t know, Eve. Why don’t you tell me about Aaron Peel?”

    Eve frowns and sinks in her seat. “He’s dead.” She hears the slightest crackle of static in her ear piece. Then Villanelle,

    _“Hi.”_

    Carolyn speaks, “How did that happen?”

    “Villanelle used the safe word. I thought she was in danger, so I went in.”

    _“What are you doing here?”_

_Konstantin’s soft voice says, “Saving your life.”_

    Eve zones back in on Carolyn, “Did you kill him?”

    “Of course not. She did.”

    “Alright. That seems clear-cut. Good,” Carolyn compliments and nods to herself.

    “Good?” Eve asks.

    _“I’m not leaving her!”_

_“Listen, it’s finished. I’m risking a lot to save your ass here.”_

Save her? From what? Eve tilts her head and looks at Carolyn. “Are you having Villanelle killed?”

    “Excuse me?” Carolyn asks. “Eve, I have no idea where she even is right now.”

    “Yes, you do. You’re toying with her. You have Konstantin there offering her the chance to escape so she feels like she has a choice, but you know she doesn’t.”

    “Do you really think she cares that deeply about you Eve?” Carolyn asks and stands up. “Eve, you’ve got a noose round your neck. I’m offering to take it off. I do hope you make the wise decision.”

    “I’m not going anywhere with you,” Eve spits out with disgust.

    “Well, then, I’m very sorry. Good luck, Eve.”

    “When this is over, I’m going to find Kenny and tell him everything you’ve done.”

    “He already knows. He’s part of the clean-up operation. Everyone knows exactly what was happening here today, Eve.”

    “Everyone but Villanelle and me,” Eve says more to herself.

    “You put a psychopath and a half on a case and tell them to make sure one person doesn’t die, it is quite amazing what gets accomplished. Carolyn starts to walk away and Eve stops her in the door way.

    “Carolyn?” Eve calls. “Good luck. It’s not easy having a noose around your neck.”

    Carolyn tilts her head and smiles. She appreciates Eve’s childish threats. “Just put the noose around someone else's.”

* * *

****

    Villanelle wants to play with Raymond. She knows she’s stronger, faster, more agile. She wants to rip his throat out. So she puts her gun in her pocket.

    “You are the worst,” Villanelle says. “How long have you been standing there? We’re you and Charlie lovers? Is that why you have been waiting for me?”

    Raymond has an axe resting on his shoulders. “I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time. On the train,” he lowers the axe to his hands. “At night with my _wife_. Taking my kids to school in the morning.”

    “I bet your kids are ugly.”

    Raymond tilts his head. “They are.” He laughs. “They are. You’re not scared, are you?”

    “I don’t get scared.” Villanelle shrugs as she mentally prepares for him to swing the axe.

    “We’ll see.”

    “Why did they send you? The Twelve,” Villanelle asks.

    “What do you mean?” Raymond pauses.

    “Well, why would they send a nobody like you to speak to Aaron Peel?”

    Raymond laughs and places the axe against the wall. “Just because I like to slum it every once in a while doesn’t mean I’m a nobody. In fact, some might say I’m a real somebody,” Raymond says as he pulls up his sleeves. Then he freezes and looks around. “Wait. Where’s Eve? She’s probably in one of these rooms isn’t she?”

    Villanelle cusses herself out in her mind. Why didn’t she get Eve’s room number before letting her go?

    “Let’s play a game, if you can guess which room she’s in, you can keep her.”

    Raymond continues talking but blood rushes to Villanelle’s ears. Eve is hers, she belongs to her. Villanelle gets to keep Eve because of that. Her hand connects with Raymond’s jaw. Raymond is stronger than Villanelle. She gets a few good hits in but a knee to the gut catches her off guard. He wraps his grimy, grizzly hands around her throat and slams her into the ironwork of the staircase. The force makes her dizzy. 

    His grip is tight.

    Villanelle digs her nails in his wrist as her legs start shaking. 

    Her face is turning a dark shade of red almost purple.

    Her vision is getting dark around the edges.

    She looks around his face for weakness.

    Movement.

    Movement behind Raymond.

    Eve steps towards the axe.

    Villanelle looks Raymond in the eye and wills a smile on her face for a millisecond before death tugs at her again.

    “Do it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back!!! I also changed the chapter title on the last chapter. It's still the same song, Swade Blue - Tell you why, I just didn't really remember what I was planning with that chapter title but I know what I'm planning now and liked this set of lyrics better


	37. Just wanted you to stay

Could a psychopath manipulate another psychopath?

Eve wrote an entire thesis on that idea. 

Since it is known that there are different levels of psychopathy does that mean a higher scoring one could manipulate a lower scoring? For example Bonnie and Clyde. Both were most surely psychopaths but was one manipulating the other to think what they were doing was okay?

People say they would kill for someone they love.

If a psychopath kills and it just happens to save the person they love, are they really killing for the person they love? Or, were they killing someone and using the person they loved as a scapegoat?

As soon as Eve’s hand tests the handle of the fire axe, Villanelle lets out a choked, “Yes!”

“What?” Raymond asks and tightens his hands around Villanelle’s throat. 

“Do it!” Villanelle is speaking without air.

“Shut up!”

“Stop it,” Eve says and her voice is smaller than the air left in Villanelle’s lungs.

Raymond laughs. "She's not going to do it, is she? She doesn't have it in her. Killing with a gun? That's easy."

"Let go of her!" Eve yells but her voice still shakes.

Villanelle eyes flutter shut.

"Unlike a gun, there'd be chunks of me going everywhere. Blood all over her. She can't handle that."

Eve flinches at the image in her head. "Please stop." She doesn't know if she's asking him to stop choking Villanelle at this point or to stop talking.

"Eve, you don't want to cross the line for someone like-"

Eve lifts the axe and plunges it into Raymond's shoulder. It gets him to drop Villanelle but doesn't go deep enough to kill him. Blood splatters just like he said it would. It gets on Villanelle's face as she slides down gripping anything to get grounded. 

In panic, Eve watches as Raymond turns around, reaching wildly for her.

"Eve, the shoulder?" Villanelle cries out. "The shoulder, Eve?" Now sounding exasperated. "The shoulder!" She screams when Eve doesn't respond. 

Eve, backing up from Raymond, finally responds, "Well, I don't know do I!"

Villanelle, still dizzy and out of breath, crawls forward to reach Raymond. Her hands clutch his ankle and he falls forward with a scream. She looks up at Eve from her stomach. "Pull it out. Hit him in the head," Villanelle instructs.

Eve's shaking. "I-oh-ohmygod." She hurries forward and tries to pull the axe out. "Oh, it's stuck," she tells Villanelle. 

"Pull harder," Villanelle says with the same encouragement of a teacher teaching a student. 

"Ah, okay." Eve steps on Raymond's back and wraps both hands around the handle. "I'm so sorry." The axe pulls out of his back with a moist noise and she stumbles backwards.

As Eve makes her way to the front of Raymond, Villanelle crawls up his back and pulls him up on his knee. A man awaiting execution. "Do it."

"They will take you apart for this." Raymond shakes in Villanelle's hands. "Both of you. And everyone you know." He shakes harder and Villanelle gives a small encouraging smile. "Inch by inch!"

"Do it!" Villanelle says stronger. More force. Tough love.

"I-i-let-let me think," Eve stutters, closing her eyes for a moment.

Villanelle studies Eve for just a moment. All she needs is one second to figure out what is necessary. All Eve wants is to keep Villanelle safe. "Don't think, Eve. He will come after us, right? He will kill  _ us _ ." Villanelle forces herself to sound scared. "Hit him."

"Please." 

"Hit him."

"I have children."

God damnit, Eve is taking too damn long. "Imagine he is a log! Quick! Do it!"

And she does it. 

The axe slices Raymond's neck. Nearly decapitates him. She cries out and sobs.

Villanelle is frozen with adrenaline. It's pumping everywhere and-and-"Again." Her voice thick and it's the only thing she can get out.

So Eve listens. "Oh god. Oh god. Oh god."

The axe comes down. 

Villanelle smiles. A sickly sweet smile, that could only be described as psychopathic. Her pupils are blown and she doesn't flinch when she hears the axe clatter against the ground. Her eyes trail down Eve's shaking body as she lets herself feel her own shaking body from all of the wrong reasons. Loosening her hands on Raymond, Villanelle lets him fall forward. Slowly her brain calms and she studies Raymond.

A joke lightens the mood. Villanelle looks up at Eve. "He was right." She smiles. "You really did take chunks out of him." Ending with a laugh.

Eve groans. "I think I'm going to be sick." 

"Swallow it." Villanelle slowly pushes up, and moves slowly towards Eve. She can't push Eve any further right now. Eve needs Villanelle to take care of her right now and guide her back down. "Alright? It's not safe. Someone will come after him. Okay? Come on, we have to go."

Villanelle reaches out towards Eve, who instantly stumbles forward and clutches her hand. She softens seeing the shock hit Eve. Her precious Eve. She unzips her maid shirt. "Take this off." She gets one of Eve's arms out of it. "Take this off," she repeats to get Eve's other arm out. "It's okay," Villanelle whispers reassuring. She cups Eve's back for a moment before moving Eve to her right and slightly in front of her.

"You did good. You saved us." Villanelle whispers with other sweet nothings in Eve's ear. They make their way towards the staircase and Villanelle glances back once, a wide grin on her face. Eve did so good. So wonderful. 

Villanelle checks to security tapes when they reach the ground floor. Her hand stays reaching behind for Eve, who is also reaching out for Villanelle. "We have to go out the back," Villanelle says, spotting two guys.

Eve grabs Villanelle wrist right where her name is. Villanelle nods and guides her out of the building. She looks both ways down the alleyway and begins hurrying until she feels the lack of Eve's presence. 

A few places back, Eve is lost in the crowd. Her head is spinning and everything sounds like white noise. She's going to faint. Until her eyes fall on Villanelle and she's grounded again.

"Eve, come on," Villanelle says, shoving through the crowd to reach her. The guards are making their way into the alley. "They're coming. We need to hurry."

* * *

 

Hurrying means Villanelle dragging Eve around Rome and into a fucking underground tunnel.  Eve is starting to feel angry. And trapped. Her body feels sweaty. Why is Villanelle going so fast? 

It's shock.

But Eve's a psychopath.

Shouldn't she be happy?

Don't psychopaths enjoy killing people?

Maybe Eve's even shitty at being a psychopath. It would just add to the list. A shitty daughter, a shitty wife, a shitty soulmate, a shitty employee, a shitty-

Light.

Finally.

Eve stomps on the boards not really registering Villanelle is still with her. She just wants to escape. Villanelle will guide her.

A deep breath of fresh air fills her lungs.

Villanelle watches as color begins to return to Eve's face. She had been a little worried when Eve abused the wood blanks, but now Eve was looking like herself.

"It's beautiful," Eve sighs, studying the Roman ruins. This was supposed to be a small holiday for them. Maybe she can pretend.

"What do you want for dinner?" Villanelle asks. Her hand wraps around a column. 

"Dinner?" Eve asks.

"Tonight. I could make dinner," Villanelle reiterates. 

"Oh." Eve thinks about it for a moment. "Spaghetti."

Villanelle laughs. "Good idea. So, Eve, I was thinking. We should go to Alaska. I have a cabin there. We'd be  _ normal _ . Oh, and I have money. So you don't need to worry about that." She twirls around the column.

"Okay." Eve's voice still sounds faraway.

Villanelle stops and grabs Eve's hands. "You'll feel better soon. I'll look after you. It's going to be amazing." Villanelle gives Eve the brightest smile and then drops her hands. "Come on. Through here."

There's noise and Villanelle jumps at the men who followed them, pulling out her gun.

"Oh," she says when she sees the birds. She laughs. "It's just the birds. We're fine."

Eve isn't fine. Her eyes are glued to the gun as shock dissipates and reality sets in. "You have a gun?"

"Yeah," Villanelle brushes it off and tries to make Eve look up at the birds and forget the gun.

"Since when?" Eve marches towards Villanelle.

Villanelle shrugs, "It doesn't matter."

"Why didn't you-"

"Hm?" Villanelle looks at Eve while she feigns dumb. It works because Eve second guesses herself for a second. But she recovers.

"Why didn't you shoot Raymond?"

"You had it under control."

"No! You wanted me to do it," Eve says.

Villanelle stops for a moment. Her eyebrows furrow. "Eve, I was being choked. I forgot about it."

"Why didn't you shoot him before?"

"And what if he had someone else up there? What if someone else already had you and me shooting you alerted them?" Villanelle quickly makes up a story. Eve was right of course. Villanelle didn't shoot Raymond in hopes that Eve would kill him.

Eve shakes her head. "When you saw me, you could have reached for the gun. Or after I hit him with the axe. You could have finished that."

"I was in the moment Eve. You didn't even think about offering me the axe to finish it. It just happened how it happened."

"Don't say it like that! This is an accident. You made me kill him!" She walks away from Villanelle.

"No, I didn't!" Villanelle yells. "You are ruining the moment."

"What do you think is happening here?" Eve asks and turns around. "You know, they say Bonnie and Clyde were soulmates." She marches up to Villanelle. "Is that what you wanted? Want me to be scared? A mess? But I'm not. I'm a psychopath, Villanelle." She chest bumps Villanelle and whispers, "This is what you wanted."

They're nose to nose.

"This is what you wanted!" Villanelle raises her voice. She tries to cusp Eve's face as she repeats it softer but Eve flinches away from her.

They stare at each other. Villanelle is in pure fear of Eve leaving her and Eve is in pure disappointment for being so foolish. Slowly, Eve backs away from her ruined life.

Villanelle's head tilts in confusion. "No, Eve. Eve, wait. Why are you being like this?" Villanelle shakes her head. "You love me." 

"No," Eve says and it's not only to Villanelle. Disappointment hangs on it.

"I love you!"

"No." It's firmer. Eve's positive of this.

"I do," Villanelle insists.

"You don't understand what that is."

"I do." And so Villanelle elaborates on what she thinks love is. "You're mine."

"No!" Eve spits. That's not love.

"You are, you're mine!" Villanelle hollers without an ounce of facade, letting her true craziness finally appear.  The muscles in her neck strain with effort.

Eve shakes her head, but something clicks in her head. People like Villanelle don't just let their possessions go. Eve isn't getting out of here but she isn't going with Villanelle. 

"Eve!" Villanelle calls.

Eve slows down, but doesn't quite falter.

"I thought you were special." As the words slide out, the switch on Villanelle's emotions slides off.

"I'm sorry to disappoint." Eve turns her back on her broken life. On her soulmate. On the one person who has built her and destroyed her. 

With the same hand that now only has a white scar, no longer dark red just a scar from a knife, Villanelle raises the gun and fires off one shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me

**Author's Note:**

> So listen... I have no clue how long this is going to be. I'll probably do about two chapters per an episode for the first season but after episode 8 I know there's still going to be quite a bit so I think this might be a doozy. I also have absolutely no idea where this is going to go. No outline. Nothing. Okay... maybe a small idea. Not really. Kinda? Come send me questions on tumblr about this so I can make an outline... please
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @theworldandyourself or on insta @jordan.closson


End file.
